Saturday, 9 March 2019


I like my routine in the morning. You know, struggle to get up for approximately an hour and a half, hitting snooze constantly, eventually dragging myself out of bed to sit in the living room, doing my make-up while watching "Charmed" re-runs on e4 . . . That's my idea of routine. Laugh all you want, but it works for me. Sort of.

But over the last year or so, e4 have been messing up my routine by giving up on "Charmed" (why e4, why???) and frequently showing repeats from the previous night of the most recent series of "Coach Trip". This does not please me one bit as I find it a bit shit, if I'm going to be brutally honest. And I can't ever imagine why someone would really want to go on it. Especially not me. Here's why . . .

1) Long coach trips are BORING
Look, I went on a couple of coach trips as a kid so I feel like I know my stuff on this. There was a school trip to EuroDisney when it first opened. A trip to Paris again a couple of years later with my family. And a few years after that another coach trip to Ostend in Belgium. Sitting in a coach for hours on end is not fun,. The most interesting thing that happened to us was being shown the red light district in Brussels, always appropriate for a coach consisting of mainly old people and two families with teenage kids . . .

2) I randomly get travel-sick
Long journeys also can make me feel sick. They might not but they might. There's no rhyme or reason to what makes me feel travel sick. Reading sometimes does, sometimes doesn't. I can feel sick or not regardless of what seat I'm sitting in. And I'm not fun when I'm feeling sick. An easy pick to be kicked off the coach, methinks!

3) I get really easily irritated
Being stuck in close proximity with a person, or people, who really annoy me with no way of escaping from them is my idea of a nightmare.I mean, what am I going to do, throw myself off the coach?  And from what I've reluctantly watched of the show, I feel I would be irritated with a lot of other contestants.

4) Having to act all enthusiastic about the organised activities
I just can't. I mean, if it turned out to be something I really wanted to do, then maybe I'd actually be enthusiastic. But if it was something sporty or ultra competitive, I'd just hate it. I'm not very athletic. I don't want people seeing just how not athletic I am on tv.

5) The nomination process is just so awkward
Having to stand face-to-face with the person you want off the bus and give your reasons for it, justified or not,  is just so awkward.  I cringe just watching it. Imagine having to take part in it. Eek!

6) I just don't get the point
So the prize for the winning couple after driving around the country in the sunshine for god knows how long is a . . . holiday? What have they just been doing for the last few weeks if not being on holiday?

Could YOU be on "Coach Trip"???

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