Wednesday, 7 February 2018

REASONS WHY I'M AN INSTAGRAM ADDICT (AND YOU MIGHT BE TOO) . . .

I'm not even going to question whether or not I'm addicted to Instagram anymore. I definitely am. Here's why:



1) I can't enjoy my food properly until I've taken a picture of it. (At this point, I don't even know if it's going on instagram, I just want it to have that possibility.)


2) I have trained the fella so well that, if my food is hot, he will blow the steam away without me asking as I try to take the picture. (I'm not even kidding. The second I whip my phone out he takes a big massive breath in preparation, on auto-pilot. He's amazing.)


3) When we talk about what we want to do at the weekend, I rarely have a suggestion other than "somewhere instagrammable." I am fully aware that this is rarely helpful.


4) I use the word "instagrammable" a lot. Is that a word? It should be. The wooden carved couches down at Castle Semple loch the other weekend, for example, were highly "instagrammable". And, at the moment, I'm staying at my sister's cat-sitting and there is so much in her house that is "instagrammable". Which is ironic since she isn't on instagram herself, or any other social media for that matter. (Apart from Bebo, and that was my fault.)


5) If I haven't posted a picture or an instagram story in 24 hours I get a bit panicky. I can actually remember the last time I didn't post for more than 48 hours - it was November and I didn't post for nearly a full week as I had an eye infection and hadn't left the house all week so I had nothing to post. It was a sad sad time. Possibly even sadder that I remember exactly how long I didn't post on instagram for as a result.


6) The first thing I check when I wake up is my Instagram account to see if I've got any more likes or followers overnight.  Then I check it again like 10 minutes later. Then again 10 minutes later. Etc etc etc . . .  (Also, I'm lying. It's every five minutes.)


7) The fella must be sick to death of me telling him to "do a funny Boomerang" for Instagram stories. Although he is ridiculously talented at them. (Not sure it's a marketable talent but please let me know if it is.)


8) He also must be sick of having to take 50 million pictures of me in the one place with me barking orders like "no, take it from above, HIDE MY DOUBLE CHIN PLEASE!"


9) I'm always thinking about what to put on Instagram next. Right now, even as I type, I'm thinking "do I put up the picture with all of the cool cushions in it right now or save it for later? And if I do, should I follow that with a landscape picture or a picture of the cat? Have I posted too many cat pictures recently? I wish I had a dog so I could post pictures of that and balance it out. My sister's niece has a greyhound - should I try and borrow her even though I have only met my sister's niece like twice and she was about 2 at the time as it was at my sister's wedding 11 years ago and if I contact her and ask her 'can I borrow your dog for Instagram?' she'll probably think I'm crazy?"


10) I'm constantly looking at my surroundings wondering if there's an Instagram picture opportunity in them.


Okay, that's probably enough for now. I'm off to check my Instagram likes and then roam my sister's place for even more "instagrammable" items. Please do pop by and follow me on Instagram if you don't already, then you'll get to see the madness in action. There's a very good chance I'm about to post that cushion picture I mentioned above. It'll be worth it, honest . . .


Are you addicted to Instagram too? Do you agree with the above points? I'd love to hear from you and, if you have any of your own reasons why you feel you are addicted to Instagram, please feel free to share them. :-)