I hate people. They make me angry. They get in my way. They fling their arms out as I walk past, oblivious of their surroundings, and HIT ME!!! They walk really slowly when I am in a hurry to get somewhere. AS IF THEY ARE DOING IT ON PURPOSE!!!!
When I am standing in a street, waiting for someone, they gravitate towards me. It's like I'm a magnet. I could have chosen the most harmless out-of-the-way spot to stand in and suddenly I am surrounded by groups of people who have decided that where I am is obviously the place to be. WHY??? Seriously. Are they all out to get me or what? Is there a conspiracy? Am I starring in my own version of the Truman Show? Is it a game show where the purpose is to see who can drive me insane first, and the rest of the world are the contestants???
Why do they decide to take the seat next to me on the subway when there is no-one else in the carriage? Or, even worse, decide to sit half on top of me???
Why must they stop abruptly in the middle of the street without checking first that I'm not behind them, and that I'm not in fact psychic and knew they were going to do this so I could sidestep them???
Why do people who don't need to be out at a busy time of day choose to do so? Is it because they KNOW that the only chance I'm going to have to go to the post office or do my Christmas shopping is between 12 and 1 on a weekday? I DON'T LIKE QUEUES!!! I don't even WANT to be there? Why are they there? Voluntarily? At the time of day when people are rammed into the shops like sardines??? At the only time I can feasibly go there?
Why do they stand in the only aisle I need in the supermarket (usually the wine aisle) at the exact section I want to look at? Why are they taking so long to decide? Someone HASN'T asked them to choose between their two kids here for Christ's sake, it's a fricking bottle of wine and I NEED a bottle to deal with the stress!
Does this sound stressful? This is my thought process most of the time I leave the house. Particularly when I'm on my own and have no one to help deal with my frustration. My sister is convinced I'll get myself beaten up one day with the cheeky remarks I can't help but utter in my anger at most of these situations.
And this is why I should just stay inside. Possibly with wine.
DEFINITELY with wine.
Do you hate going outside as much as me?