Wednesday, 9 January 2013


It's been a while since I checked out my statcounter... partly since my blogging frequency has gone waaaayyyy downhill in the past few months, so I haven't really had a reason to be that curious. But now I'm sort of finding my way back, I went on to have a look at it last night.

christmas willy warmer
(Jeez, you post ONE picture of a willy warmer and you're NEVER allowed to forget it...)

i keep having strange hallucinations
(Yes, I once hallucinated that my bra was on my desk at work. I wonder if the person who found me this way had weirder hallucinations than that, or if they read it, shrugged and then thought, "shit, I'm normal in comparison to this chick, what a psycho.")

my own murfy's law
(The spelling made me laugh. That is all.)

www. seat humping for a ride,
(I'm scared to try and find out if this is a real website or not. Does someone want to check for me???)

blog about my boobs
(MY boobs, or YOUR boobs? Mine are pretty boring apparently. Hence the reason why I once blogged about a guy falling asleep on them, which is probably why you ended up on my blog as a result of your search. Poor you.)

yum yum get some lanzarote
(I was thinking this could make a good haiku but there's not enough syllables. Oh well...)

saying you're only as young as the man you feel
(Oh so true...)

is a pole dancing climb difficult?
(Yes. Trust me.)

hot guys Glasgow
(I'm afraid you're not going to find much on ANY website about this, let alone MY site!)

Is Kelly Jones married now?
(Yes. To me.)

I think that THIS one has to be the most disturbing one though... Stand back, we have a winner!!!

using a bath towel to pee in
(this is NEVER something I have even CONSIDERED doing. Honestly!)

So there we have it. People come to my blog because they want to marry the lead singer of the Stereophonics and want to check he's not going to be committing polygamy if they do; they are looking to hump seats and have taken a bit of a wrong turn; they have a cold willy, or know someone who does; OR they've decided that toilets are just too much of a cliche to do their business in.

I feel so honoured, but also really sorry that I wasn't really able to help them out with any of their problems. Sorry guys! I hope you found what you were looking for in the end.

Checked YOUR stats recently?


  1. I am seriously cracking up after reading this. I don't know if I've ever commented, but I do read your blog frequently. I came across it from another blog, "My Dirty Laundry"

    Thank you for providing us, your adoring public, with your honest posts. I am also single, so I can relate to most of them :)

  2. These are so funny!

    I was a bit worried to see that a few people have found me by searching "blogs about canadian living life to the fullest". I'm not Canadian, nor do I live in Canada, nor have I ever been in Canada...

    But I guess the best ones (of the most recent searches) have been "Bob Marley eating cheese" and "katherina foot massage" (I might be broke, but I'm definitely NOT going into this business!).

  3. My first pole dancing class is next month. Now I'm afraid...very afraid.


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