Saturday, 24 November 2012


I'm no nun. Well, only if nuns drink too much cava, have sex (occasionally), wear pink, show their cleavage and don't go to mass. So, I think we've agreed I'm not a nun.

Sometimes I do wonder if I may as well be one, but then I realise I want to be able to go to the pub whenever I want and I get pretty bored trying to pray, no matter how much my mum tells me to do it. I'm referring, however, to how bloody celibate I sometimes feel!

With the exception of the Ferry Guy, there has been no one since the disastrous reunion with the Ex at the end of last year.  There's been a few flirtations. There's even been a very brief drink (and very brief but lingering kiss goodye - if there can be such a thing) with Ferry Guy AGAIN back in August. And he still occasionally pops up in my messages and suggests hooking up, but it never comes to fruition. Don't get me wrong, I know it's all about sex. I don't really mind that idea.

I think if I REALLY was bothered about being single, I could have someone. I don't mean that in an arrogant "I could have any guy I want" kinda way; that shit bugs the hell outta me. But if I was willing to put myself out there, let random dudes chat me up more often, go on dating websites or whatever, I'm sure I could find SOMEONE who wanted to date me. I'm not that bad looking, I'm relatively intelligent and I'm pretty funny. I think I'm actually a pretty good catch all in all.

The problem is, I'm not a dater. Dates make me nervous. I say stupid things at the best of times. If I fancy someone, this gets twice as bad. Nay, about TWENTY TIMES as bad. Anyway, I don't want to date for dating's sake. That's not me. I know people who do. The ex, for example, is a dater (when he's not in a relationship that is) - he told me so, he loves it cos he gets to talk about himself. I'm not so good at that. Like I said, too nervous. I'm far better at putting my thoughts down on paper, or on a screen, than I am at saying them out loud. Maybe I should just opt for a virtual boyfriend and cyber sex? Probably easier for me!

I don't know if all of  this makes me odd. The fact of the matter is though, I'm not lonely. I have loads of friends, a nice life, an okay job. Do I occasionally come home and wish I had someone to cuddle at the end of my day? Sure. I think I would be a wee bit dead inside if I didn't sometimes feel that way. But ultimately... I'm happy. I don't have to worry about someone not texting me. I don't have to feel paranoid. I can just get on with things.

And, y'know that's okay. For now. It won't necessarily be okay forever. But being single isn't a bad thing. Even at 33.

I'm alright.

And anyway, I really need to tidy my room before I even attempt to bring a guy back here again, or it really WILL be over before it's started...

Thursday, 22 November 2012


The night before I went to Ibiza in August, I made the mistake (or amazing decision- it could be either!) of opening a mail order catalogue I'd been sent in the post. I'm not sure why I received this catalogue in the first place....

Actually, I suppose it's cos I'm one of those idiots who is a sucker for advertising and occasonally stupidly buys things advertised in the National Enquirer (AND buys the National Enquirer for that matter) like Equi-chews. You take a chew every five days and will lose five pounds. Yes. I bought them. And I need to be kept away from those infomercials on most freeview channels in the morning as I am seriously tempted by both the Insanity workout AND the steam cleaner. And I don't like exercise or cleaning, so what does THAT say about me???

Anyway, here is the catalogue in question. It has a woman in a padded bra on the front of it so you know it's really classy, and it's called "Home Shopping Selections." The bra is machine washable and tumble-dryer safe, by the way. Y'know, just in case you were thinking of investing in one. Or all three colours!

So, apart from the beautiful front cover underwear, what other delights are contained inside? Well, I'm glad you asked... (Apologies for the quality of pics by the way.... my battery on my phone was low so no flash.)

The super mini ear.... so, basically, an over-the-counter hearing aid then?

Ear cleaning machine.... for when you're too good for cotton buds.

This little gizmo looks actually like a piercing.... in reality it's a no-snore machine. It's not the prettiest. Wee bit bull in a field. Well,as long as it works I suppose!

A Manchester United watch. There are no other football team watches in this catalogue. Methinks these folk are biased.

No, don't repel the foxes! I love them.After all...

AHEM! Anyway, back to scheduled viewing now we've got that out of the way (in case you didn't already know.)

 Vibration dampeners.... taking the only fun we could get out of washing machines.

I don't even know how to use dry shampoo so I'm not sure a dog would. No wonder the poor dog in this photo looks confused.

Modesty panels for low cut tops? Trust me, the one thing I'm not modest about is my cleavage...

And speaking of modesty and cleavage and *sniggger* dirty stuff, this is where the catalogue got interesting.... there were sexy pages!!!!

We have a vast array of sex toys for your sex dungeon. Penis developers and rings, dream eggs, finger massagers and.... wait for it....

....and instructional dvd for Better Oral Sex!!!

It gets better. I mean, LOOK!!! Who needs toturn to tame crafts like scrapbooking or crocheting when you can shoot your own adult home movie or take some nude photographs...

 And then there's even some fiction available. Titles include Dominatrix, The Punishment Room and (my personal favourite title) DISCIPLES OF THE WHIP!

Yep, that's definitely my favourite section . . .

And I think this is my new favourite catalogue, although I doubt I'll buy anything out of it anytime soon.

Interested in any of these products???

Sunday, 18 November 2012


Perfume.... who doesn't love it?  I'm completely addicted to the stuff.  Hell, I even did my dissertation in university about perfume bottles and advertising. Okay, so I only got about 55% for it and screwed what would have been a pretty good chance of me getting a first class degree as opposed to a 2:1, but that's not really the point right now.

Today I thought I'd tell you about my favourite perfumes!

1. Deci Dela (Nina Ricci)

This perfume hasn't actually been around for years, which is a shame, as I completely love it. I first discovered it when I was about fifteen or sixteen, and my best friend at the time gave me a tiny sample bottle she had been given as a freebie. It's such a lovely sweet floral scent and anytime I wear it I get compliments on it. I used to ask for a bottle for every birthday and Christmas but now I can only buy it from eBay, which makes me very sad. :-(

2. Eden (Cacharel)

Not the most beautiful of bottles. But I LOVE the smell. I can't describe it really - it's got a bit of a metalic edge to it, which sounds weird, but it's honestly very nice and another scent I get a lot of compliments about when I wear it. This is the perfume I now get from my mum regularly as a present as she tends to be able to find it for about a tenner in certain places. Which makes me worry if it TOO will soon be as obsolete as Deci Dela.

3. Alien (Thierry Mugler)

Back when I was in uni doing my dissertation, everyone wore Mugler's other well-known scent Angel. I used to like the smell of it but it drove me to distraction after a while. For my 30th birthday I was given a bottle of Alien by work and I fell in love with it. I haven't been able to buy another bottle of it since though as it always seems more expensive than most perfumes!

4. Scarlett (Cacharel)

It may share a name with one of my least favourite Hollywood stars but look how pretty the lid of the bottle is! A true work of art (although some have asked me why I had a jar of jam in my bag, and I can see their point!). Another light floral-y scent - much more distinctively Cacharel (think along Anais Anais or Noa lines) than Eden. I discovered this at duty free and immediately fell in love with it.

5. SJP NYC (Sarah Jessica Parker)
I was given SJP's original fragrance Lovely, by an ex of mine a while ago... and it was indeed lovely but not really for me. However, SJP NYC is TOTALLY me. The bottle is amazing, and the smell..... well, it smells a bit like Um Bungo - makes me feel fruity and tropical and summery. At the start of this year I had three bottles of it in different sizes - my sister had bought me a little one for my birthday last year and my friend and my brother both bought me bigger bottles. I was on my last one on the run up to my birthday last month so I asked my brother for a bottle of it.... and the same friend also bought me it! So I now have two bottles of it still to use. Yippee!

What are YOUR favourite perfumes?

Friday, 9 November 2012


Last week I joined What I Wore Today . . . if you don't know that website, it's wear you post pictures of what you've been wearing that day. Yup, much like Ronseal does exactly what it says on the tin, WIWT does exactly what it says in its name.

THEN other users can give your outfit a gold star. Basically, it's the equivalent of liking something on Facebook, but will probably actually MEAN something soon... (can you tell I'm FINALLY going off Facebook???)

It's been a bit of a eyeopener to me. Because I have always been quite proud of my dress sense. I've never thought I was particularly fashionable. I like bright colours and patterns but I do play it safe a bit because I don't like overemphasising my curves. I don't really do trends, I tend to go with what suits me.  But I've put some pics of myself up where I've quite liked my clothes... and then been really offended when not that many people "star" them.

It's still ridiculously fun though.... and I love getting ideas from other people's outfits, or finding out about clothes websites I didn't know existed! I just wish I had a full length mirror and decent lighting so I could do the classic "taking a picture of myself with my phone in the picture" thing that every one else seems able to do but doesn't work for me.

Anyway.... here's some posing pics of my clothes from the last week. I might make this a semi-regular post. Or perhaps not, since I''m starting to HATE my clothes thanks to WIWT!

 Galaxy dress from
Jumper from Oasis
Snood from River Island (via asos)
Blouse from River Island
Shorts from Asos 

 Dress from asos
Jacket from Gas (ancient jacket, I've had it for about 10 years, maybe more)
Boots from Rocha John Rocha @ Debenhams

Velvet coat from Warehouse (also ancient - about five years old and the lining is in bits, but i still love it)
Lace dress from a boutique near Carnaby Street in London called Dahlia
Snood from Dotty P's 

Dress from Miss Selfridge (but bought second-hand from asos for a steal)

Top Warehouse
Skirt Miss Selfridge

Anyone else on WIWT? Or WOULD you go on it? How do you feel about fashion - trend setter or like to stick to what you know?