Friday, 30 March 2012


I was reunited with two of my favourite possessions earlier this week.

My sweetie bracelet and sweetie watch from Links of London! These are probably my most pricey possessions too, as I don't tend to wear expensive jewellery.

Anyway, they had both broken recently (well, actually the bracelet broke over a year ago) and I had kept putting off taking them back to the shop to be re-strung but I finally bit the bullet last week, and it's great to have them back as they both mean a lot to me.

I bought the sweetie bracelet to cheer myself up four years ago when I was feeling uber-shit. It lasted pretty well until just after new year last year when I was about to have a very awkward chat with a boy. He had to help me pick all the individual parts off the floor.

I love the charms. I bought the pink heart myself when I bought the bracelet. Mich bought me a little shamrock for Christmas one year. And my friend V bought me the "Lucky Knickers" charm for my 30th a few years back.

The watch, on the other hand, was not paid for by me (at £350 I would NOT be able to afford that myself in a hurry) but was a 30th birthday present from my brother and sister. I love it because it looks a bit unusual, and because, of course, it's a gift from people I love.

I can't help but wonder if getting my "lucky knickers" back will give me any luck in my love life though... ;-)

What are YOUR favourite items of jewellery?

Tuesday, 27 March 2012


Glasgow has been experiencing some unbelievably weird weather this past few days . . . as in, the weather has been nice! It's very unsettling considering it's still March and sometimes it is snowing here at this time of year. But it's been good. I got two nice doses of sunshine today - half an hour down by the Clyde with one of my friends at lunchtime, and an hour and a half after work in the Botanic Gardens with my book.

Sunshine is one of those things that honestly does make me feel happier. Not a lot, I'm still a bit miserable about everything, but it really helps cheer me up a bit. When I'm able to lie out in the sunshine, things seem literally and metaphorically brighter. And getting home after work to find my room flooded with sunshine is also a lovely feeling.

I wish sunshine could fix how I'm feeling completely, but in the meantime it's nice to know that it has made a LITTLE bit of a difference. I also was offered a potentially amazing experience today, one which would have got me away for a couple of days (a bit of distance is something I could REALLY use right now), but unfortunately it didn't end up going ahead. It would have allowed me to go to a couple of countries I would never have gone to otherwise, and it would have been pretty much straight away. So I'm disappointed that it didn't end up happening, but the tiny bit of nervous excitement I experienced about it in the hour or so where I was waiting to find out if it WAS going to happen was a nice new feeling I hadn't experienced in a bit of a while.

In the meantime though, let's just hope the sun keeps up for a few days yet. It's just what the doctor ordered!

How's the weather where YOU are right now?

Sunday, 25 March 2012


I don't understand why I'm taking so long to get over this one.

In the past, don't get me wrong, it takes me a while to move on. But this one . . . it just seems to be impossible.

I hate when relationships end, and this one .  .  . it's got to me like no other one. Perhaps because we DID remain friends until very recently, perhaps because he then moved on to someone else so abruptly and may as well have cut me out of his life as a result.

I just feel so useless. One day I can think I'm fine about it, can think I've moved on and am over it . . . then the next some silly little thing happens and I want to share it with him and i can't and I just want to cry.

Sometimes I do actually think that the only thing I can do is actually move away. Because at those times it seems impossible to actually stick around here when I'm constantly terrified of running into them together. I was at a comedy gig the other night and was terrified I'd see him and he'd be with her. As it turns out, i didn't see him, but he WAS there and I have no idea who with, and to be honest, I think I would rather not know. All I DO know is that I was convinced he was behind me because I swear I could hear is laugh. And I was too scared to look in case that WAS him and I'd see who was there with him.

I knew when he moved on to someone else it would be like breaking up all over again, only worse . . . but I'm finding it so tough to deal with the loss of my friend. I don't want my happiness to depend on the way someone else is treating me. But at the moment, on this lonely Sunday afternoon, it sadly does.

Saturday, 24 March 2012


I don't have any tattoos, or any desire to get one.

It's not that I don't like them or anything - although the people who have more skin that is tattooed than skin that is not do sort of terrify me a little - they're just not really my kinda thing. I've seen tons of people with tattoos I love (and many with tattoos I DON'T love) but it's just not for me.

I suppose it's also partly the pain. After I got my nose pierced seven years ago, it put me off my plan to get my navel pierced as the pain, although it didn't last, was pretty intense. But it's mainly just that I don't feel like a tattoo would suit my personality. It's odd, I know!

How do you feel about tattoos and/or piercings? Do you have any? Would you?

Thursday, 22 March 2012


    It's been waaayyy too long since I've did a sarcastic "how to/how not to" guide. So let's resurrect that old thing . . .

    Sit on me.
    Oooh yes. I love that. Personal space? I have no idea what that concept is, so you go right ahead and invade it . . .  Never mind that it's a near empty train, you just choose to park your arse virtually on top of mine for no apparent reason. Like I said, I love it. Seriously.

    Play your music too loudly.
    Just because you're wearing headphones doesn't mean the sound is completely blocked out from everyone else, especially if you're playing your music at a volume which suggests you have been completely deafened (probably by the volume of your own music . . .) Handy hint: if we are wearing earphones too and can STILL hear your music, then it's probably a TAD too loud. Just sayin'.

    Excessive PDAs with your other half.
    Really? You want to get off on the subway? Then please . . . actually get off. At the next stop. And don't come back. We all hate you. (Speaks the bitter singleton.)

    Leave your litter on the train.
    I personally really enjoy sitting on a train surrounded by empty Buckfast bottles and half eaten McDonalds food. Honestly.

    Have loud conversations with your friends that no one else wants to hear.
    I'm not impartial to a bit of eavesdropping but if you're going to talk loudly about your life, could you at LEAST make it a little bit interesting?

    What/who annoys you on the subway? Or public transport in general...?

Tuesday, 20 March 2012


Random strange things have a tendency to happen to me while I'm walking around. Like the time the old dude walking past me decided to enthusiastically tell me that he'd just discovered that Britney Spears was an anagram of presbyterians (I still haven't worked out if that one is actually true - I'm not very good at anagrams). Or the time the bunch of schoolboys walking past me decided to hit me on the bum with a rolled up newspaper (I was sure I'd wrote about that before, but I can't seem to find it). Or the window cleaner who decided to tell me (I assume jokingly) that he should have stuck to his career in geo-physics.

Today I have another thing to add to that list.

I was on my way home, near the private school I hate, when I heard a disembodied voice calling across the road to me. It was a singsong female voice which could have belonged to a little kid, or a stoned older female. I have no idea.

"I like your coat" the voice called.

At first I thought this wasn't me they were referring to. There weren't many people around though. I kept walking though, pretending that I was wearing earphones, even though I wasn't.

But the voice continued.

"Purple is my favourite colour." It informed me.

Okay, so it was definitely me. I was the only one wearing a purple coat in the vicinity. But I decided it was best to continue to ignore it and kept walking.

The last bit was my favourite though.

"Can we be purple friends?" it asked me.

At that point I sped up before I started giggling to myself.

I have absolutely not a clue who the voice belonged to, and there WERE a few people around who heard so it was a LITTLE bit embarrassing at the time that someone was clearly taking the piss out of me but in a strange sort of way it really cheered me up!

Could I have been hearing things? Or should I have agreed to be purple friends? I guess I'll never know . . .

Has anything strange happened to YOU on the street recently?

Monday, 19 March 2012


I'm really not a massive fan of small talk.

It's one of the reasons why I never really got into the idea of going to get my hair done. Or why I might sometimes avoid leaving my room if I think someone else is in my flat. Or why I might see someone I know walking in front of me and deliberately slow down.

It's not that I don't like the person. I just can't be arsed, on that particular day, to do the small talk dance.

You know what I mean, right? Where you are struggling for things to say, and trying to work out how to extricate yourself from the conversation without being rude . . . and then suddenly realising that you have answered all the questions the other person has asked you about your day, or your life, or your pet dog AND HAVEN'T ASKED THEM A SINGLE QUESTION BACK! I am so guilty of that one in particular.

Don't get me wrong, if I'm in the mood I can be great at small talk. But if I can't be bothered, I barely make the effort. If I am talking to someone I don't think likes me much, I REALLY can't be bothered trying. And, if it's a particularly bad day, that's when the inappropriate stuff comes out. Or when I'm making small talk while drunk. (See here: the "you like to shag dead people" incident.)


One day maybe I'll learn the art of small talk and become a sparkling conversationalist (that is a word, right?). For now though? I think I'll continue to avoid people when I'm not in the mood to even try . . .

How's your small talk?

(PS I accidentally deleted a comment instead of publishing it and I'm not sure who it belonged to - if it was you I'm sorry, I was half asleep and my finger slipped - I'm sure there's an obvious "that's what she said" joke there, but I refuse to make it.)

Sunday, 18 March 2012


Well, we're onto Issue 2 of my semi-regular feature The Nail on Sunday, and today I present you with RAINBOW NAILS!

If you're my friend on Facebook, or friend in real life, you may have already spotted my attempt at these, but I am pretty enamoured of them so thought I would share. They're actually simpler than they look, they feature lots of pretty pastel colours for the spring, and they're very girly and cute.

What more can you ask for??? ;-)

You can obviously vary the colours if you want but I had experimented (ooh er!) beforehand and discovered that you needed to put some colours together that contrast slightly. Hence the pretty bright pink colour breaking up the baby blue and peppermint. On my previous attempt, I put the blue and peppermint together, you could barely see the difference, I had to resort to a black nail art pen to try and define the individual stripes, it all got a bit out of hand and then the below happened.

(Actually still kind of cool, but sooo not what I was going for...)

So what do you need for this look? My cast of nail polish characters is mainly comprised of Barry M products, with a cameo from an Orly polish that I bought from ebay last week, and a finish of clear nail polish which came in an Elegant Touch french manicure set. So the main contenders are:

Barry M - blueberry ice cream (for the record, this is possibly my favourite nail polish colour ever)
Barry M - berry ice cream  (I find this lilac colour a bit wishywashy on its own, which is one of the reason I wanted to feature it in the Rainbow Nail)
Barry M - mint green (another favourite)
Orly - Basket Case (that would be the pink one - Barry M's colour names are slightly more obvious, eh?)
And then pretty much any clear nail polish you might have!

I decided to just make one nail on each finger a rainbow nail, but it's up to you what you decide. I went for my middle finger on each hand and made the other nails either blueberry or mint green. The thumb might be quite nice as a feature nail, or I'm considering trying to do rainbow nails on ALL fingers at some point. But to begin with, you may want to start with one.

Start off with a layer of the berry (lilac) colour. Normally if I'm using this on its own I would probably put on about three layers but only a small amount of lilac will ultimately show so one layer should suffice.

Now you could just do individual stripes for this, but to be honest, my hand isn't that steady so I just went for the layering option. Put on the mint green nail polish once the lilac has dried. The trick is to put it on like you're doing a French Manicure - but rather than the tip you are painting most of the nail, but leaving some of the lilac to show at the bottom. (I'm sorry I don't have a picture of this part!) Once this has dried, you then repeat this with the pink, ensuring that you leave some of the mint green showing at the bottom. (I DO have a picture of this part! Go me!)

Once you have done this, just place the blueberry colour at the top on the tip of the nail, EXACTLY like a French Manicure and, once dry, stick a layer of clear polish over the top. You would think it would end up bumpy with so many layers of nail polish but, surprisingly, it doesn't!

I absolutely LOVE this look and you can guarantee it's one I'm going to be sporting A LOT this spring (and possibly summer) - and experimenting with other colours too.

By the way, if this is a bit TOO girly for you (I honestly wouldn't blame you if it is - I know not all girls like pastels), there is a wondeful space nail tutorial over on the lovely Emily Jane's blog which you should DEFINITELY also check out. The minute I saw the look on Facebook I wanted to know how to recreate it, and apparently I wasn't the only one!

But yeah, I hope you like MY nails too. And if anyone has any ideas for nail looks I can try, please let me know!

Happy Sunday everyone!

Friday, 16 March 2012


Like most people, I enjoy a bargain. I dislike trawling through sale rails though. I like accidental bargains, whether it's just happening across a lovely dress and then discovering the label actually has a half price sticker on it . . . or, even better, the occasions where you're prepared to pay full price for something and then discover at the checkout that it's been reduced and it just didn't say so on the label or shelf. It's an added bonus in that case. It's almost like you've actually MADE money - I know you actually HAVEN'T, but it feels a bit like it!

This happens to me rarely, but i love it. It happened to me a few weeks ago when I decided to buy some of the new John Frieda hair range . . . and discovered at the checkout it was buy one get one free. And I already had two in my hand. Woohoo!

Oh-so-pretty bracelet!
Or the time I was fully prepared to spend 22 pounds on a pair of pale grey leather gloves from Accessorize and discovered at the checkout they were a mere six pounds! Of course, they've never been the same since The Horrible Nail-Polish-and-THEN-Wine-Spillage of April 2010 (its official title) but at the time they were actually The Best Bargain Ever!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Oh . . . wait . . . it's definitely a bird... necklace!

And tonight it happened again. Wanting some retail therapy in a desperate sort of way, I found myself in Dorothy Perkins (or Dotty Ps, as I like to call it). I couldn't find any dresses I liked but I spotted some jewellery - a pretty bracelet and a bird necklace. Both were £8.50 but I decided, L'oreal style, that I was worth it (insert hair toss and smug smile here).

So up I headed to the counter, where the woman rang up the sale and informed me that the necklace was in fact only . . . wait for it . . . ONE POUND!!!

I thought perhaps I had misheard but no! It really was! To add to my unexpected good fortune, the bracelet was also three pounds cheaper than expected. What SHOULD have been a 17 pounds bill was in reality only £6.50!!!

Ah.... retail therapy! How I love you.

Still feel kinda shitty, but at least I can wear pretty things while I feel that way!

What's the last unexpected bargain (or ANY bargain!) you found?

Thursday, 15 March 2012


As you know, many things annoy me. Too many to mention. (Although I do TRY to mention as many of these as I can, on a regular basis, as you ALSO probably know.)

But one thing that especially bugs me are nights out with a theme.

Some themes are fine. For example, my good friend V had a "posh frocks and fascinators" hen night. I'm not a massive fascinator fan (now, THAT'S not a phrase I really expected to type) but I managed to find one for six quid, and who DOESN'T want to wear a posh dress? (Well, a dude, I suppose. But still.)

It's the themes that have you shelling out unnecessary money on stuff you'll never wear again.

Take, for example, last May, when I went on a hen weekend to the North of England. It was decided early on that the theme on the main night out would be Rave. We're talking day-glo accessories and clothes here. I was very dubious, mainly because I didn't already own anything like this. (Also, there is probably a lot of potential there to look like an idiot, right?) And i was skint and really didn't want to waste money.

Anyway, I was actually pretty economical (which was a good thing as the weekend cost a fortune - it was in a Center Parcs so if you've ever been to one of those, you'll probably know exactly what I mean). I managed to buy a fluorescent orange vest from Primark and some accessories from Claire's. Combined with my normal garb of a denim mini and leggings, as well as some glow-stick accessories provided by my sister, I was set and didn't feel too stupid.

And since my outfit hadn't actually cost that much, i was prepared to write it off.

However, nearly a year later, I've come to realise that my fabulous fluorescent beaded necklace and fluorescent orange vest actually contrast brilliantly with my black Mango shirt dress and add a splash of colour to an otherwise cute but slightly dull outfit. Recycling success!

(Rainbow nail tutorial "Nail on Sunday" post coming very soon, btw)

I've absolutely loved these beads since I wore them on that hen weekend, and I'm so glad I've found a good reason to wear them - I love that I have managed to get more out of the beads and the vest than that one night!

Have you ever had to buy anything for a theme night or party that you've managed to re-use in everyday life?


And the winner is . . .


Elle from Pipe Dreams & Professions was selected when I fed all 18 entries (I assumed every comment was an entry - if it wasn't, I apologise!) into a random generator.

Congrats Elle!

If you can drop me an email or a DM on twitter and tell me a) what email address you want it to be sent to and b) where you would like your £20 voucher for, I will arrange it asap. (It's hard to know which Elle will choose as she loves her clothes AND her books!)

This was fun! Thanks to everyone who entered and offered their congratulations. :-) I hope you'll continue to join me on my "adventures" -  I obviously use the term "adventures" very loosely to describe the times I get drunk and a) fall over b) snog someone inappropriate c) say something stupid or d) all of the above. Just another day in the life of P . . .

Tuesday, 13 March 2012


I'm not really a big fan of going to the cinema.

There are various reasons for this. The fact it's severely overpriced. That the rare time I'm eager to see a film it usually isn't on at a time that suits. The fact it's hard to find someone to go with you to see the only film you want to see (they've either already been to see it, or it's not their type of film.) It's hard to go to the cinema often unless you're 1) willing to go alone (I'm not) or 2) are in a relationship and have a permanent cinema going partner. That second point made, I don't think cinemas are good for early dates. Why would you go somewhere and not talk? In fact, I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I've been to the cinema with any of my past boyfriends.

Anyway, yeah, not a big fan.

But the other day, we had nothing better to do and decided to pay the over-the-odds prices and go watch something. We sneaked in a Subway each, paid additional extortionate fees for some pick 'n' mix sweets and a couple of slush puppies . . . and with approximately ten minutes left to go of the film, it cut out.

Infuriating, right? Don't get me wrong, we'd been fairly limited to what we could see, and sadly "The Vow" wasn't great. But after having sat through 100 odd minutes of extreme cheese and Rachel McAdams being really annoying (bring back Regina George, that's all i can say), I think I deserved to at least see how the bloody thing ended! But no. After twenty minutes, we were told that the building was being evacuated.

So . . . sat through most of a fairly shitty film, don't even get to see the ending despite having paid eight pounds each TO WATCH THE ENTIRE FILM and then, to add insult to injury, we had to walk FROM THE TOP FLOOR down the stairs. Bear in mind here that this cinema is apparently the tallest cinema in the world, and I'm sure I'll have at least an iota of your sympathy.

We couldn't get our money back because the cinema was still shut half an hour later . . . oh and yesterday my calves were burning like crazy whenever I try to walk and the only thing I've done differently was tackle all those stairs!

My sister accused me of breaking the cinema since I hadn't been in so long. She may have a point. But I certainly won't be going back there anytime soon. Well, apart from to try and get my money back. I might not be able to get a refund for watching a shit film but missing the ending through no fault of my own? I think I have grounds for a refund on THAT basis, eh?

Monday, 12 March 2012


It's strange how feeling depressed can creep up on you and take you by surprise sometimes. You think you're okay and life is . . . well, bearable and then ten seconds later, you want to cry.

Or is that just me?

I had a nice enough weekend. I had an okay-ish day at work. Then as I was walking home, the sadness hit. I left the office feeling fairly upbeat and as the walk progressed I felt worse and worse and worse. By the time I got home, I was utterly miserable. Quite a turnaround in forty minutes.

I've not cried.

I want to.

But it's not coming.

Yet. I have a feeling it's not that far off.

All I can keep thinking is "WHY IS EVERYTHING SO SHIT?" Why can my life not go to plan? MY plan, I mean.

How can I snap myself out of this? What cheers you up when you're feeling like a big vat of poo?*

*It's a bit of a disgusting image I know. But it's just how I feel...

Saturday, 10 March 2012


*Insert My Blog Name Here* is now four years old.

Technically I think it's older than that, but my first post (that still exists) on the blog was posted on the 10th March 2008, so we're going to call today its birthday. Happy birthday blog!!!

Now, I'd been planning to do a giveaway but there were issues with this. One, I am very lazy. And two, I am a bit low on inspiration. So I was trying to think of something I could have as a prize which would involve as little effort as possible.

So . . . here's what I'm going to offer.

Depending on who wins, you can either choose a £20 asos gift voucher or a £20 (or equivalent of £20 in dollars or whatever) voucher for uk or I think that's a pretty good prize to be honest - I wouldn't mind either of those.

What do you need to do?

Simple. Just leave a comment. If you can't think of anything to say, why not just tell me how old YOUR blog is? I'm not asking you to follow my blog - it would be a bit hypocritical of me, as I only follow other blogs on google reader and not through my blog itself. So yeah . . .one comment on this post. That's all I'm asking for!

You have until 6pm GMT on the 15th March to leave a comment. The winner will be announced after the deadline. :-)

THE CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED.... Thanks to all who entered. :-)

Friday, 9 March 2012


So I'm back on the wine.

My Lenten promise lasted just over two weeks.

Some people may judge me for that but I'm proud of me. Why?

1. I have never given ANYTHING up for Lent for that long. Ever. Two weeks??? That's a miracle.
2. I've never given up wine for that long.
3. Being off the wine and having to re-think my drink choices in the past couple of weeks has made me realise a) I can go out for dinner and not drink alcohol b) I can have one alcoholic drink and stop and 3) I don't really like other alcohol. It's not the alcohol I missed, it was the wine itself.

So I'm having a sneaky cava or two and then heading out to meet my friend for Indian food. Cannot wait!

Oh, and last night I was out at an event for International Women's Day at Hillhead Bookclub, organised by Kirsty. I won one of the raffle prizes - a shitload of REN products. Do you know how much that shiz costs?  I bought a facial peel mask thingy from their range recently after being enticed by another blogger/one of my favourite authors to do so and it was like £27! I managed to get it on ebay for cheaper but, yeah, winning more than one of these (and a facial also - which I'm gifting to a friend of mine) is pretty damn good.

A bit of wine was imbibed too. And as I walked home I munched on a quesadilla from Taco Mazuma. Yum. I dropped a quarter of it on Byres Road. To say I was gutted would be the world's greatest understatement. :-(

What's everyone up to this weekend? Any big plans?

Tuesday, 6 March 2012


I'm not too good at the whole exercise thing. In fact, I pretty much hate it. But needs must, unfortunately, if I want to drop a dress size and feel in good shape.

I walk a lot anyway, but I think my body has got used to that and the amount of walking I do is basically just stopping me from putting on too much extra weight; it's not actually helping me lose any. Like, if I stopped walking everywhere I would probably instantly inflate. I'm not even kidding. That is my fear!

I hate the gym. I tried it for a year or two. I didn't make it there very often.

I quite like running, but I can only run for about five minutes before I want to die, and I don't have the patience to work at it. I love swimming but I don't like having to swim in lanes . . . or getting wet. (Which is a rather large obstacle when it comes to swimming, I'm sure you'll agree...)

I've tried many fitness dvds. Tae Bo, I quite enjoy. (I like pretending to punch people.) The 30 Day Shred . . well, everyone in the blogosphere RAVED about that. I LOATHED it. My favourite fitness dvd is Hannah Waterman's . . .  she's a former soap actress. It's the only dvd I've stuck to for any amount of time . . . but living in a first floor flat, all the jumping about makes me paranoid I'm disturbing my downstairs neighbours, especially considering how squeaky my floorboards are. I don't feel like I can give it my all!

I am still going to my pole fitness class, although recently I feel like I'm getting worse instead of better. I have now been on the same moves for the past thirteen classes - you're meant to move on every four and my instructor hasn't even suggested that. Oops. And I have recently became quite taken with Tracey Anderson's arm and abs webisodes. Because they last less than ten minutes each and i can do them without feeling like a baby elephant, or worrying I might plunge through the floorboards to the flat below. Oh, and not to mention they bloody KILL. I'll report back with how effective they are after a couple of weeks - I've done them nearly every day for about a week so far, so I'm hoping I can stick to them.

But I'm curious - what is YOUR exercise method of choice? Are you a gym bunny? A fitness dvd afficianado? Exercise class junkie? Runner? Something else? Or are you even lazier than I am???

Please feel free to share . . . :-)

"BORN TO DIE" . . .

My favourite album at the moment has to be "Born To Die" by Lana del Rey.

Lana seems to have courted rather a lot of controversy, from the fact that she apparently wasn't the new girl on the block she pretended to be, to her big bloated lips, but I happen to think she's a really talented singer-songwriter. I bought her album in mp3 format on a whim about a week ago and this weekend I decided to give it a whirl while I was in work doing overtime. It's a great album. I love her vocals, the haunting melodies, even her shitty attempts at rapping (well, I THINK that was what she was trying to do!).

"Video Games" is an absolute classic as far as I'm concerned, but there's so many other good tracks on there too. I can definitely see myself listening to this album for a long time to come, and I look forward to seeing what else she can come out with next.

Are you a lover or hater of Lana? What's your favourite album at the moment? Please share in the comments section... ;-)


Monday, 5 March 2012


Boxing Day 2011 was a strange one for me. In a lot of ways, it was a lot of fun . . . I had a great day. But it was what it turned into that ruined it, and as a result ruined a friendship and, ultimately, my New Year's Eve celebrations later that week.

I can't really remember how it happened, but me and my ex had been drinking rather a lot of wine, watching stand-up comedy and then, later, dirty-dancing to random music we were playing on youtube. I suppose, ultimately, the fact we ended up in bed was inevitable. I can't quite remember HOW it happened, but we'd decided it was a good idea . . . even though we both knew it was, in reality, actually a very bad idea.
And that drunken mistake ruined everything.

I have only ever done the ex-sex thing with one other ex-boyfriend. He was my first proper boyfriend, the guy I lost my virginity to, and after he broke up with me, I was devastated. But when we ended up shagging again less than a week later, I was instantly full of hope that he had changed his mind. I was too naive to understand that dudes can have sex without an emotional connection. You'd think I WOULD have realised this given the amount of chick-lit novels I've read but no . . . I was young and idealistic and stupid. I didn't GET it. And so it went on. Approximately once a month for the next few months we would meet up and end up in bed together, but he never even suggested we give our relationship another try. Finally it came to a head when I actually asked him about it, and he seemed shocked that I had even THOUGHT he wanted to be with me for anything other than sex. I was devastated, and after that we put distance between each other for quite a few months. By the time I saw him again, he was with someone else, and that was that.

But, hurt though I was by the whole situation, it made me realise that ex-sex was not a good idea. And I vowed never to do it again.

And me and THIS ex? We'd done brilliantly. We'd managed to hang out together loads since our break-up without it ever even being an issue, despite the fact we were both still sexually attracted to one another. And then, in one fell swoop, more than six months after our break-up (we got back together at the end of November but it lasted about a day so I don't count that) we ruined it with ex-sex.

The thing is, this time I was prepared. I TOLD him afterwards I knew it didn't change things and, in my head, it didn't. If anything, it just made me realise that perhaps we WEREN'T a good pairing but I would still like to be his friend.

But for him it seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back and he told me a few days later we should stop spending so much time together.

The past few months since then have been, for me, a bit shit. I'm missing my best guy friend and he no longer seems to be interested in PROPERLY hanging out like we used to. Oh, and he's seeing someone else so I guess it's hard to maintain a friendship with a female who's NOT your ex when you have a girlfriend. Especially one you slept with two months ago.

So yeah, me and ex-sex? I won't be doing that ever again. Regardless of whether you're expecting something from it or not, someone just ALWAYS seems to end up getting hurt. And, in my case, it always seems to be me . . .

Do you have experience of ex-sex?

Sunday, 4 March 2012


It's about time we had a new regular feature on *Insert My Blog Name Here* - so welcome to The Nail On Sunday (get it???), a semi-regular weekly feature all about one of my favourite things - nail polish!

I'm completely obsessed with nail polish - I hate having bare nails because my natural nails are pretty shit - so I'm always buying new colours and trying out different combinations and patterns. Not that I'm particularly brilliant or anything, but I thought I'd share all the same!

So here's my current favourite nail look (apologies in advance for the not brilliant photo quality. I am limited to the camera on my phone and its capabilities.)

Isn't it pretty? It sort of reminds me of the sky just before the sun rises or sets.

I used three different polishes to achieve this look.  It does not have to be a specific brand, but you are basically looking for a dark purple, preferably with a slight metallic edge, a pale blue and a clear polish with silver (and any colours - mine has blue too) glitter in it. Unfortunately I cannot give you the exact names of the colours I used because the three nail polishes have vanished since earlier today (I can only assume they've vanished into the black hole in my room that usually swallows up my leggings, black vests, tights without holes in them, and one of each pair of socks I own.) If I manage to find them, I will update the post!

 Basically, what you need to do is a french manicure, but with these colours instead. I love using different colours to create this look - I'll do a post on the various colour combinations I have used in the past at a later date.

As long as you can do a french manicure, you can do this! In fact, it doesn't really need to be as precise as a french manicure so it's pretty easy.

1. Apply two coats of the dark purple nail polish and let it dry.
2. Paint the pale blue nail polish on the tips of your nails.
3. Once the tips are dry, apply a coat of the glittery clear nail polish over the top.

And voila! Pretty nails!

What's your favourite nail look?

Friday, 2 March 2012


I like to pretend I know everything. And I DO like to know stuff. Like I've mentioned many a time, I have a fairly random general knowledge answer base stored in my brain, containing such weird stuff as capital cities circa 1988 - the year when I learned them all. (If you want to know the capital of Yugoslavia, or the USSR, or Czechoslovakia, I'm your woman. Ask me anything more recent than that and you might just stump me). One night about a year ago I was drunk and decided I wanted to know EVERYTHING. I ordered books about the Bermuda Triangle, Greek mythology and urban legends (once again - a rather random selection). I think I only stopped ordering books because I passed out. And I forgot I'd even DONE it until the books started dropping through the letterbox a few days later . . .

But anyway, the point is, I DON'T actually know everything. There's a lot of stuff I know feck all about; a lot of things there's no point in even TRYING to engage me in conversation about. Some examples?

  • FOOTBALL: If a bunch of guys (or girls) around me are talking about football, I'll either be wearing my puzzled face (if I'm TRYING to act like I know what's going on), or my I-don't-care face (which is far more honest). I am never even going to PRETEND to understand the offside rule (I once saw it explained on the internet by comparing it to a shoe shopping excursion but even THEN I was confused - I don't really like shoe shopping, which may be the problem.) I'm not one of those girls who likes football, or who PRETENDS to like football because it apparently impresses guys. I don't even particularly like looking at the footballers' legs (which is probably football's only saving grace) because they run too fast. It's just all a blur. And I never know which team is which. It's pointless to even TRY to engage me in conversation about it. Trust me.
  • POLITICS: It is actually quite embarrassing how little I know about politics. I know who the prime minister of the UK is and what party he is affiliated with, and I know who the US president is. I recognise a couple of names as being related to politics. But I honestly don't have a clue what's going on. There might be a vote of some sort coming up soon. I'm not really sure though. I'm not even sure what political party I even support. One part of politics I AM a virtual expert on though? OFFICE politics. But that's a WHOLE different kettle of fish...
  • FASHION: I love to talk about fashion and clothes but I know nothing about it - and I really don't understand why someone would pay an extortionate price for one item of clothing just because it's designer. My sister spends more money than me on clothes and sometimes she won't even tell me what something she has bought costs because she knows I just won't understand. I love clothes - but I tend towards the cheaper end of the scale, I'm afraid. If you tell me you've spent 300 pounds on a bag then I'm just going to shake my head and probably walk away.
  • SOAP OPERAS OR REALITY TV: No point in talking to me about "Eastenders", "Corrie", "One Born Any Minute", "Don't Tell The Bride" or anything along those lines. I pretty much loathe British soaps (with the exception of "Hollyoaks", which I could tell you the plot of in minute detail most days) because I find them utterly depressing, and I have no interest whatsoever in most reality tv shows. Why would I want to watch babies being born when they aren't anything to do with me? Or witness what is bound to be a car-crash wedding when the groom gets to decide all the important details of a wedding? And then why would I want to TALK about it afterwards?
Hmmm, I was sure I had more stuff than that, but I'm finding myself at a loss. I guess I know more than I thought.

Although probably best not to try to talk to me about the Bermuda Triangle or greek mythology just yet as I still haven't finished those books. Although I did manage to carry out a ridiculous conversation about the 'Triangle on a date once, and that was before I even OWNED said book . . .

What do YOU know nothing about?

Thursday, 1 March 2012


I've been having some freaky dreams recently.

Most of them I can only remember for about thirty seconds after I wake up but I find myself shaking my head in disbelief in that short space of time and wondering where the hell my subsconscious got this shit from.

The one that sticks in my head was last week though.

I dreamed I was pregnant.

I mean, seriously, I was CONVINCED I was pregnant. I was going about telling everyone and acting very much like a pregnant lady would. Not drinking, trying to be healthy, watching out for my bump . . .

And then people started to ask me for more details about the pregnancy.

"Are you suffering from morning sickness?" No.

"Have you put on any weight?" No.

"Have you had sex recently?" No. (I actually had misguided ex sex just over two months ago in reality, but in dream word I was practically re-virginised it had been that long.)

"Have you taken a pregnancy test?" Um - also no.

Yeah, so it turned out I wasn't actually dream-pregnant after all.  And none of the above points had even occurred to me . . . So then it was even weirder, cos then everyone thought I had psychological issues and had made up a pregnancy. And, yes, I probably DO have psychological issues, but I don't think i would ever do THAT.

I can't help but wonder what it means though. It's right up there with this dream in terms of weirdness . . .

Had any weird dreams recently? Or care to help analyse MY dream?