Tuesday, 28 February 2012


The title of course refers to a story from when I was drunk, I'm not drunk-typing (I wish I was. This cava-ban is the bane of my life at the moment. But eight days without any kind of wine - go me!). This is a story that happened a mere week and a half ago. Back when I COULD drink wine.

And I don't really remember most of it.

I just remember waking up on the Saturday morning with a fuzzy head and a text on my phone from one of my friends which read: "whoever has got paulas fone give it back thanks x" (both mine and my friend's favourite bit of that text is the kiss on the end) and then it all came flooding back. Sort of.

The rest of the story has since been filled in by my slightly more sober friends.

Towards the end of the night, after many glasses of rose wine had been imbibed, I decided I had lost my phone. Mainly because I'd had it sitting on the table most of the night and it was no longer there. I started to panic, especially after I'd rifled through my bag and couldn't find it. "My phone!" I wailed. "I've lost my phone!"

Helpfully, everyone started to scramble around looking for it. Apparently the tables were moved around, the couches and armchairs (it was THAT kind of pub, no normal tables and chairs for us!) were pushed aside to see if my phone was there. Nothing.

In the meantime, I was apparently just sitting there, like the Queen or something like that. Letting everyone else search. I'm not sure what exactly was going through my mind as it's all a drunken blur to me. I'm assuming I was probably sleeping with my eyes open.

(I would also like to add that I was possibly going through somewhat of a nervous breakdown that night, having earlier found out something that had really upset me. So I was probably not only drunk, but also a bit strung out, which probably didn't help my state of mind.)

One of my friends has informed me this was going on for about five or so minutes when I suddenly put my hand down my top, pulled my phone out of my bra, looked at said phone in confusion and said:

 "Oooh look! There's a phone down my top. Is it mine???"

(I'm clearly not the brightest light in the sky while under the influence. Would there be ANY reason why a phone other than my own would be in my bra??? Anybody got a decent explanation for that? I can barely explain why my OWN phone was down my top in the first place, let alone why someone ELSE'S phone would be.)

Yeah, so I'd panicked my my entire group about losing my phone and it had inexplicably been down my top the whole time.

Not quite as bad as the night out a few weeks ago when I woke up with bruises down my right side the morning after and no recollection as to how it happened - and then found out I'd tried to sit on a chair and missed (eek!), but it's certainly a wee bit funnier (in my view) than that story.

Probably a good thing I've given up on wine for a while, eh???

Any good/embarrassing/funny drunken (or otherwise) stories to share???


  1. The worst was at a Halloween party I attended. I drank a little bit of anything and everything. I kept going out into the front yard to pee. Later in the evening, I decided it was a good idea to take my clothes off while someone filmed it all. Shortly after the party, the guy who filmed it invited me over to watch it. I didn't. He told me not to worry, that it was grainy and dark so you couldn't see much. Another friend told me that wasn't true. Never did see it but I'm mortified by it all. I ended up spending the night at the guy's house who held the party and was still drunk in the morning but drove home anyways.

  2. Unfortunately, yes. I was at a friends house and I had had one or two too many...anways, my friend had even more than me and I climbed up the stairs to see if she was okay. She wasn't, of course, and I promptly exclaimed 'I'll make you a get well cake!" The fridge was downstairs, and apparently I stood for about five minutes at the top of them looking confused, then curled into a ball and rolled down them...head first. My explanation?
    "I forgot how to use the stairs."
    Seriously. I had a couple of bruises the next day, and now every time I see a staircase I go through in my head how house them so hopefully when I'm drunk, it'll be engraved in my brain. I've never been able to live it down...

  3. Haha, funny story :)
    I am of Asian descent and one boozy Australia Day (a couple of bottles of rose later bahaha) I was trying to explain to a couple of my husband's Eurasian friends how I read that people with Asian genes can't metabolise alcohol the same way as anglo people (I think I was Exhibit A of that case). Somehow it backfired into me calling them all a bunch of Mongoloids (google it) and they didn't speak to me for a little while. Oops.

  4. LOL. I laugh to all of your DRUNKEN STORIES guys. Unfortunately I don't drink so I have no story to tell to you. but reading your stories makes me want to try drinking hard drinks.

  5. Hahahahaha that's gold! Loving the stories in the comments, too!!! I don't have any embarrassing or funny drunken stories about myself - I can hold my liquor well :)

    Thank you for commenting on my blog, I accidentally deleted it instead of publishing it, so sorry!!!



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