The title of course refers to a story from when I was drunk, I'm not drunk-typing (I wish I was. This cava-ban is the bane of my life at the moment. But eight days without any kind of wine - go me!). This is a story that happened a mere week and a half ago. Back when I COULD drink wine.
And I don't really remember most of it.
I just remember waking up on the Saturday morning with a fuzzy head and a text on my phone from one of my friends which read: "whoever has got paulas fone give it back thanks x" (both mine and my friend's favourite bit of that text is the kiss on the end) and then it all came flooding back. Sort of.
The rest of the story has since been filled in by my slightly more sober friends.
Towards the end of the night, after many glasses of rose wine had been imbibed, I decided I had lost my phone. Mainly because I'd had it sitting on the table most of the night and it was no longer there. I started to panic, especially after I'd rifled through my bag and couldn't find it. "My phone!" I wailed. "I've lost my phone!"
Helpfully, everyone started to scramble around looking for it. Apparently the tables were moved around, the couches and armchairs (it was THAT kind of pub, no normal tables and chairs for us!) were pushed aside to see if my phone was there. Nothing.
In the meantime, I was apparently just sitting there, like the Queen or something like that. Letting everyone else search. I'm not sure what exactly was going through my mind as it's all a drunken blur to me. I'm assuming I was probably sleeping with my eyes open.
(I would also like to add that I was possibly going through somewhat of a nervous breakdown that night, having earlier found out something that had really upset me. So I was probably not only drunk, but also a bit strung out, which probably didn't help my state of mind.)
One of my friends has informed me this was going on for about five or so minutes when I suddenly put my hand down my top, pulled my phone out of my bra, looked at said phone in confusion and said:
"Oooh look! There's a phone down my top. Is it mine???"
(I'm clearly not the brightest light in the sky while under the influence. Would there be ANY reason why a phone other than my own would be in my bra??? Anybody got a decent explanation for that? I can barely explain why my OWN phone was down my top in the first place, let alone why someone ELSE'S phone would be.)
Yeah, so I'd panicked my my entire group about losing my phone and it had inexplicably been down my top the whole time.
Not quite as bad as the night out a few weeks ago when I woke up with bruises down my right side the morning after and no recollection as to how it happened - and then found out I'd tried to sit on a chair and missed (eek!), but it's certainly a wee bit funnier (in my view) than that story.
Probably a good thing I've given up on wine for a while, eh???
Any good/embarrassing/funny drunken (or otherwise) stories to share???