Saturday, 24 November 2012


I'm no nun. Well, only if nuns drink too much cava, have sex (occasionally), wear pink, show their cleavage and don't go to mass. So, I think we've agreed I'm not a nun.

Sometimes I do wonder if I may as well be one, but then I realise I want to be able to go to the pub whenever I want and I get pretty bored trying to pray, no matter how much my mum tells me to do it. I'm referring, however, to how bloody celibate I sometimes feel!

With the exception of the Ferry Guy, there has been no one since the disastrous reunion with the Ex at the end of last year.  There's been a few flirtations. There's even been a very brief drink (and very brief but lingering kiss goodye - if there can be such a thing) with Ferry Guy AGAIN back in August. And he still occasionally pops up in my messages and suggests hooking up, but it never comes to fruition. Don't get me wrong, I know it's all about sex. I don't really mind that idea.

I think if I REALLY was bothered about being single, I could have someone. I don't mean that in an arrogant "I could have any guy I want" kinda way; that shit bugs the hell outta me. But if I was willing to put myself out there, let random dudes chat me up more often, go on dating websites or whatever, I'm sure I could find SOMEONE who wanted to date me. I'm not that bad looking, I'm relatively intelligent and I'm pretty funny. I think I'm actually a pretty good catch all in all.

The problem is, I'm not a dater. Dates make me nervous. I say stupid things at the best of times. If I fancy someone, this gets twice as bad. Nay, about TWENTY TIMES as bad. Anyway, I don't want to date for dating's sake. That's not me. I know people who do. The ex, for example, is a dater (when he's not in a relationship that is) - he told me so, he loves it cos he gets to talk about himself. I'm not so good at that. Like I said, too nervous. I'm far better at putting my thoughts down on paper, or on a screen, than I am at saying them out loud. Maybe I should just opt for a virtual boyfriend and cyber sex? Probably easier for me!

I don't know if all of  this makes me odd. The fact of the matter is though, I'm not lonely. I have loads of friends, a nice life, an okay job. Do I occasionally come home and wish I had someone to cuddle at the end of my day? Sure. I think I would be a wee bit dead inside if I didn't sometimes feel that way. But ultimately... I'm happy. I don't have to worry about someone not texting me. I don't have to feel paranoid. I can just get on with things.

And, y'know that's okay. For now. It won't necessarily be okay forever. But being single isn't a bad thing. Even at 33.

I'm alright.

And anyway, I really need to tidy my room before I even attempt to bring a guy back here again, or it really WILL be over before it's started...

Thursday, 22 November 2012


The night before I went to Ibiza in August, I made the mistake (or amazing decision- it could be either!) of opening a mail order catalogue I'd been sent in the post. I'm not sure why I received this catalogue in the first place....

Actually, I suppose it's cos I'm one of those idiots who is a sucker for advertising and occasonally stupidly buys things advertised in the National Enquirer (AND buys the National Enquirer for that matter) like Equi-chews. You take a chew every five days and will lose five pounds. Yes. I bought them. And I need to be kept away from those infomercials on most freeview channels in the morning as I am seriously tempted by both the Insanity workout AND the steam cleaner. And I don't like exercise or cleaning, so what does THAT say about me???

Anyway, here is the catalogue in question. It has a woman in a padded bra on the front of it so you know it's really classy, and it's called "Home Shopping Selections." The bra is machine washable and tumble-dryer safe, by the way. Y'know, just in case you were thinking of investing in one. Or all three colours!

So, apart from the beautiful front cover underwear, what other delights are contained inside? Well, I'm glad you asked... (Apologies for the quality of pics by the way.... my battery on my phone was low so no flash.)

The super mini ear.... so, basically, an over-the-counter hearing aid then?

Ear cleaning machine.... for when you're too good for cotton buds.

This little gizmo looks actually like a piercing.... in reality it's a no-snore machine. It's not the prettiest. Wee bit bull in a field. Well,as long as it works I suppose!

A Manchester United watch. There are no other football team watches in this catalogue. Methinks these folk are biased.

No, don't repel the foxes! I love them.After all...

AHEM! Anyway, back to scheduled viewing now we've got that out of the way (in case you didn't already know.)

 Vibration dampeners.... taking the only fun we could get out of washing machines.

I don't even know how to use dry shampoo so I'm not sure a dog would. No wonder the poor dog in this photo looks confused.

Modesty panels for low cut tops? Trust me, the one thing I'm not modest about is my cleavage...

And speaking of modesty and cleavage and *sniggger* dirty stuff, this is where the catalogue got interesting.... there were sexy pages!!!!

We have a vast array of sex toys for your sex dungeon. Penis developers and rings, dream eggs, finger massagers and.... wait for it....

....and instructional dvd for Better Oral Sex!!!

It gets better. I mean, LOOK!!! Who needs toturn to tame crafts like scrapbooking or crocheting when you can shoot your own adult home movie or take some nude photographs...

 And then there's even some fiction available. Titles include Dominatrix, The Punishment Room and (my personal favourite title) DISCIPLES OF THE WHIP!

Yep, that's definitely my favourite section . . .

And I think this is my new favourite catalogue, although I doubt I'll buy anything out of it anytime soon.

Interested in any of these products???

Sunday, 18 November 2012


Perfume.... who doesn't love it?  I'm completely addicted to the stuff.  Hell, I even did my dissertation in university about perfume bottles and advertising. Okay, so I only got about 55% for it and screwed what would have been a pretty good chance of me getting a first class degree as opposed to a 2:1, but that's not really the point right now.

Today I thought I'd tell you about my favourite perfumes!

1. Deci Dela (Nina Ricci)

This perfume hasn't actually been around for years, which is a shame, as I completely love it. I first discovered it when I was about fifteen or sixteen, and my best friend at the time gave me a tiny sample bottle she had been given as a freebie. It's such a lovely sweet floral scent and anytime I wear it I get compliments on it. I used to ask for a bottle for every birthday and Christmas but now I can only buy it from eBay, which makes me very sad. :-(

2. Eden (Cacharel)

Not the most beautiful of bottles. But I LOVE the smell. I can't describe it really - it's got a bit of a metalic edge to it, which sounds weird, but it's honestly very nice and another scent I get a lot of compliments about when I wear it. This is the perfume I now get from my mum regularly as a present as she tends to be able to find it for about a tenner in certain places. Which makes me worry if it TOO will soon be as obsolete as Deci Dela.

3. Alien (Thierry Mugler)

Back when I was in uni doing my dissertation, everyone wore Mugler's other well-known scent Angel. I used to like the smell of it but it drove me to distraction after a while. For my 30th birthday I was given a bottle of Alien by work and I fell in love with it. I haven't been able to buy another bottle of it since though as it always seems more expensive than most perfumes!

4. Scarlett (Cacharel)

It may share a name with one of my least favourite Hollywood stars but look how pretty the lid of the bottle is! A true work of art (although some have asked me why I had a jar of jam in my bag, and I can see their point!). Another light floral-y scent - much more distinctively Cacharel (think along Anais Anais or Noa lines) than Eden. I discovered this at duty free and immediately fell in love with it.

5. SJP NYC (Sarah Jessica Parker)
I was given SJP's original fragrance Lovely, by an ex of mine a while ago... and it was indeed lovely but not really for me. However, SJP NYC is TOTALLY me. The bottle is amazing, and the smell..... well, it smells a bit like Um Bungo - makes me feel fruity and tropical and summery. At the start of this year I had three bottles of it in different sizes - my sister had bought me a little one for my birthday last year and my friend and my brother both bought me bigger bottles. I was on my last one on the run up to my birthday last month so I asked my brother for a bottle of it.... and the same friend also bought me it! So I now have two bottles of it still to use. Yippee!

What are YOUR favourite perfumes?

Friday, 9 November 2012


Last week I joined What I Wore Today . . . if you don't know that website, it's wear you post pictures of what you've been wearing that day. Yup, much like Ronseal does exactly what it says on the tin, WIWT does exactly what it says in its name.

THEN other users can give your outfit a gold star. Basically, it's the equivalent of liking something on Facebook, but will probably actually MEAN something soon... (can you tell I'm FINALLY going off Facebook???)

It's been a bit of a eyeopener to me. Because I have always been quite proud of my dress sense. I've never thought I was particularly fashionable. I like bright colours and patterns but I do play it safe a bit because I don't like overemphasising my curves. I don't really do trends, I tend to go with what suits me.  But I've put some pics of myself up where I've quite liked my clothes... and then been really offended when not that many people "star" them.

It's still ridiculously fun though.... and I love getting ideas from other people's outfits, or finding out about clothes websites I didn't know existed! I just wish I had a full length mirror and decent lighting so I could do the classic "taking a picture of myself with my phone in the picture" thing that every one else seems able to do but doesn't work for me.

Anyway.... here's some posing pics of my clothes from the last week. I might make this a semi-regular post. Or perhaps not, since I''m starting to HATE my clothes thanks to WIWT!

 Galaxy dress from
Jumper from Oasis
Snood from River Island (via asos)
Blouse from River Island
Shorts from Asos 

 Dress from asos
Jacket from Gas (ancient jacket, I've had it for about 10 years, maybe more)
Boots from Rocha John Rocha @ Debenhams

Velvet coat from Warehouse (also ancient - about five years old and the lining is in bits, but i still love it)
Lace dress from a boutique near Carnaby Street in London called Dahlia
Snood from Dotty P's 

Dress from Miss Selfridge (but bought second-hand from asos for a steal)

Top Warehouse
Skirt Miss Selfridge

Anyone else on WIWT? Or WOULD you go on it? How do you feel about fashion - trend setter or like to stick to what you know?

Sunday, 7 October 2012


Deciding I would stay up all night before i got picked up for my flight to the Costa del Sol last Saturday morning was obviously my first mistake.

Lying on my bed in my PJs was the second.

I was getting picked up at 4.15am. I'd text my mum at 3 to check she was up.

I had then proceeded to fall asleep myself. And we are talking the SLEEP OF THE DEAD. Seriously, I'm a light sleeper most of the time, but when I go into a deep sleep, when I haven't slept for a while, I am virtually comatose.

Which is when stuff like New Year's antics tend to happen to me, as I cannot be woken! See examples below:

So, yeah, my parents were buzzing frantically, phoning me (my phone was on silent but I'm not sure how much of a difference it would have made), and after about 30 minutes one of my flatmates (thankfully) let my dad in... who burst into my room and the fright of that scared me out of my coma!

As a result of this, I ended up missing quite a few things that I had planned to do last minute. I forgot to bring my make-up for one thing. ALL of it. (Worst. Case. Scenario.) I had only the pair of shoes i was wearing - I'd forgot to add any others to my suitcase. I had no shampoo or conditioner or any styling products save for hairspray. Pretty much no accessories to speak of, except for the first ones I could grab in a hurry.... which went with nothing. No deodorant. No perfume. Four pairs of knickers - for seven days! Oh, and I'd shoved one contact lens in quickly when I'd panicked and jumped out of bed just so I could see what I was doing... and I forgot my contact lens case so I only had a lens in my right eye all week. (Thankfully this isn't too unusual for me but I was worried what would happen if I LOST the only lens I had, given that I am pretty blind.)

So, yeah. To say I was disorganised would be the understatement of the century.

I hate to think what would have happened had my flatmate not answered the buzzer. Thank god.

Despite all this I had a brilliant time (don't worry - my mum had a lot of the non-make-up or pant essentials and I managed to get a couple of basic make up items to ensure I didn't have to brave it bare faced), and returned just now a year older (it was my 33rd while I was out there) but not much wiser. Although I'll certainly be re-thinking my strategy next time I have an early morning flight....

Any travel disasters you want to share?

Tuesday, 25 September 2012


It all started when my sister bought me one for Christmas. I wasn't really sure of the appeal at first. But the moment I put it on, I realised how good it looked. It was like it was MEANT to be on me.

When I lost it over New Year, I could have cried. I had no idea where it was. Luckily my friend then found it in the bed I'd slept in at hers on New Year's Eve. It took her a couple of days because she was being lazy and hadn't stripped the bed (lazy mare.) (Yeah yeah, I have a total cheek to talk!)

Me and my snood were inseparable once again!

 Before I lost it, on New Year's Eve....
Happily reunited with it several days later, we were still together several months on - even if it clashed a little bit with the outfit I was wearing. And, truth be told, I think Dawn here is looking away from me because she just can't handle the hotness.... (joke. Maybe.)
So, yes, I've quickly come to see the benefit of snoods:
1) They are brilliant at adding a bit of colour to the most plain of outfits, and you can experiment with wacky patterns and colours if you want and not feel too self-conscious.
2) If your boobs, like mine, have a habit of escaping from whatever you're wearing (and this isn't ALWAYS a good thing!) it will keep them covered up and protect your decency. Of course, any time you want to be INdecent, all you need to do is remove it!
3) I have discovered my first snood also doubles up as a handy cork popper if I'm trying to open a bottle of cava which is proving tricky - which is an ADDED bonus I could never ever EVER have foreseen. (I'm sure my sister couldn't either.)
4) I'm not good at making scarfs look all artfully tied and shit. The snood is IDEAL because I can just put it over my head and go, and it just looks awesome WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. Thanks snoods everywhere!
5) It can double as a hood if necessary. To be honest, this isn't something I'd ever do, because I'd look ridiculous. Case in point...
I look like an old person!!!
And the only bad point about snoods??? They DO occasionally try to attack you in extremely windy conditions, smother you and/or blind you by blowing all up in your grill! The very thing happened to me only yesterday.... as I was crossing the road. Not the safest, I'm sure you'll agree!
Anyways, I've been branching out into the world of snoods of late. To the point where I bought THREE new ones in a week. How many necks does a girl have??? I hear you ask. Well, I only have one body but it doesn't stop me buying loads of clothes for it, does it? Necks are no different, they need garnished too! ;-)
Firstly I bought this one from Dotty P, which is a bit more neutral than my previous one... but also sparkly! Because it's me and I need that to make me interested...
Available from here.... Dotty Ps have some other fab snoods available too if you're interested - I felt spoiled for choice!
Then, a couple of days later, I hit asos, my favourite clothes website in the whole world ....AND THERE WERE LOADS OF REDUCED SNOODS!!!! I was in heaven! I tried to limit myself to just two but it was a struggle...
Anyway, I ended up buying these two!
Both from River Island.... for the star print one see this link, for the hula girl one this link! 
With winter fast approaching (I switched back to wearing a mac after five months of my denim jacket or a cardigan as outerwear just today), I know I am going to find myself with a growing collection of snoods over the next couple of months . . . and I cannot wait!
What about you guys? Are you fans of snoods? What's your current fashion addiction? And have you noticed any snoods anywhere you think should be my next purchase? Feel free to share in the comments....

Wednesday, 29 August 2012


Yeah, so I find it ironic that I haven't posted on here in over a month yet get an "anonymous" commenter telling me on my LAST post that I need to get out more. But it's taken a month to tell me that.

Get over yourself.

It's funny because I was coming on here anyway tonight, then i saw that and just laughed in disbelief. One - I can rant about twitter if I fucking want. Two?  I get out plenty actually. Not that it would be anyone's business if I couldn't. For example, if i was skint, then maybe twitter would be my only option. But I can afford to go out whenever I want, and not sit around a college trolling people's blogs. (Yes. I went there. Deal with it.)

Plus, as per the opening paragraph, I haven't even been on my fucking blog for a month. I've had plenty to occupy my time. Like my lovely friends coming over for the weekend. Or my trip to Ibiza.

I'll post some pics soon. I'll also probably have a part two to my twitter rant.

Because it's my blog and I fucking can.

Just need to get out for a bit more....

Thursday, 26 July 2012


I'm starting to think I've got a little bit of an addiction. No, I'm not talking about cava. I'm talking about twitter, that Great Social Network in the Sky. (Actually, that sounded really dramatic in my head, but really it makes it sound like twitter is dead. Which it kinda was for a wee while earlier today, but it's been resurrected Jesus-like so.... Oooh, wait then my description DOES sort of work. Shut up, Paula. Get on with it.)

I've been around the twittersphere (is that the official term for it? I don't think it is but I can't think what it ACTUALLY is) for about four years now. Just over four, in fact. And I have tweeted approximately 16000 times. Which actually isn't that much over the space of four years (4000 a year? Not too bad) but I'd say probably a big chunk of those tweets have occurred just in the last couple of months. I'm not quite sure why that is, but it does seem to have developed into a full scale addiction. ESPECIALLY, I notice, when I'm a little inebriated with the cava . . . then I turn into one of those "retweet-everything-you-see, make-cryptic-and-passive-aggressive-tweets and also overshare-a-lot" types. Not ALL of the time but well . . . MOST of the time? (Just kidding. I'm really not that bad. You should follow me. Don't let the fact you'll have to REQUEST to follow me put you off. It means I'm exclusive. Like a private members club or something. You never know what's on the other side of that little padlock. Maybe.)

I've spoken about my love of twitter before. And also hinted at my frustrations with it at times.  But let's just put it out there now . . . what are my major annoyances?  These are not necessarily things that ALWAYS annoy me. Most of the time I just let it all roll over me - it takes all kinds to make a world, and god knows, I am in no way the perfect Tweeter. I think we've already established this, right? Just when I'm feeling particularly irritated, these things get to me.

Requests for followers:

If i want to follow you, I'll follow you. I don't want you to ask me to follow you, or your friend. I don't care if you want to get to 100 followers or not.  (Believe it or not, this is not the Twitter Guides. You will not get a "I have 100 followers" badge for passing that lofty goal. Not a REAL one anyway.You'll probably just get to 100 followers and then start asking to get to 200 followers. I'm not talking #followfriday here, just the begging requests.

Or the "If you follow this person and RE-TWEET that you followed this person then TWEET THEM AND TELL THEM AND THEN GET THEM TO TWEET ME TO TELL YOU THAT YOU FOLLOWED THIS PERSON THEN I WILL FOLLOW YOU BACK" folk. Okay, I'm going a bit far there, but I've bet you've seen folks like this. They also say "I always follow back", yet follow 30 people when they have 3000 followers. Just. Fuck. Right. Off.

People who DM asking for your phone number . . . repeatedly:

If I ignore you the first time . . . get the hint. If I tell you no after a couple of attempts where I've ignored you every time, seriously, get the hint. AND STOP FUCKING ASKING!

People who reply to you but actually have nothing to say everytime they do so:

I have one person (and if you're reading this, I've already told you it's annoying and you're still doing it) who replies to any of my tweets with things like "Oh", "Um..." and "Oh dear...". Is there a point to this? Am I supposed to know in which context to take this?

People who seem to reply to EVERY TWEET YOU POST:

That sounds so ungrateful, doesn't it? It sometimes just gets stressful feeling like then YOU have to reply or you'll look ignorant and then the Catholic guilt strikes and I end up feeling bad about looking ignorant and ending up in a conversation which goes on all day even though I actually have fifty million other things to do and fifty million of these conversations going on at once. And that's just on twitter. I also need to factor in text messages, facebook chat/messages/posts, emails and actual REAL LIFE CONVERSATIONS. It can get pretty stressful sometimes . . .

When Twitter goes and BREAKS on us:

It literally is LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD. Take earlier . . . it was like the world had frozen in time. There was one lone guy on my timeline, who appeared to be the only person who Twitter was working for (which made me wonder if he was some sort of evil genius who had actually possibly orchestrated the whole thing) and was talking to himself and apparently going mad. That was actually quite funny but in the meantime, I wondered what I was missing with all these strangers I had never met and (mostly) never intend to. I suppose it's a little bit like when a programme you are getting really into stops on a cliffhanger and then goes on hiatus indefinitely. You keep checking and checking to see when it's coming back on . . .  BUT IT COULD BE GONE FOREVER!!!!

People slagging off what other people are tweeting about:

This is the most ironic one of all, coming from me and taking into context this whole post. But hey, I am nothing if not a self confessed hypocrite. Just call me Grace Dent (I'll put my review of her book "How To Leave Twitter" up here at some stage - if you've not read it, you should. If only to realise that a) you suck at twitter and b) so does she, kind of.)  (She actually doesn't suck at it, by the way. I'm just jealous. I never got to be Queen of the Universe, and she apparently did.)

There are things I don't necessarily like reading about on twitter from people whose tweets I generally genuinely enjoy. Like pretty much every reality tv show going, with the exception of Made in Chelsea, which is my guilty pleasure. But basically anything like X-Factor, The Voice, TOWIE . . . they leave me cold. Or most sports (until I start live-tweeting the Olympics, that is. See? Hypocrite!)

But I don't like it when people slag off other's choice of subject to tweet about while on twitter. I think "Live and let live" - if i'm following someone who will put up with me chastising Spencer for stealing Louise off Jamie or slagging off Cheska for looking like a male Olly, then I'll take their weakness also!

So . . . that's all for now. I'm sure there's more, but my brain has stopped working as I haven't looked at Twitter for all of ten minutes and now I'm worried that something has happened in my absence. It's forced me into panic mode!

There may be a part two at some point. I make no promises . . . although I think I'll start noting down any more annoyances as they occur for future reference!

In the meantime though . . . what annoys YOU about Twitter???

Saturday, 21 July 2012


So, as you may or may not know about me, I go to pole fitness once a week. That's been nearly a year now. Which is pretty amazing.

I was rubbish at first - I documented my first attempt at it on ths here blog. I didn't really feel like I was improving at all for ages!And then it eventually started to come together. And I did get better. But since about Christmas, I've just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. I've been stuck on pretty much the same moves since then, and just not felt like i'm progressing.... even though there is still the odd move I can do that is more advanced than the ones I am on. Which is weird. I also still can't do the very first move I was taught, which is super weird.

Anyway, there are two methods of climbing a pole. One is you sit on the pole and hoist yourself up basically by your arms. Or you can do the step and climb technique, which is more about using your feet and legs.

I can do neither.

But I realised that if I pushed myself off using the step and climb technique and then "improvised" (ie cheated) I could make it a good start up the pole. That was a few weeks ago.

On Wednesday night, I finally used this improvised technique to get to the top of the pole.



Once I got up there I kind of got stuck there - it was surprisingly hard to slide back down! But I made it eventually!

At some point in the future, you may find me up at the top of the pole upside down. Yeah, I don't see that happening anytime soon though!

But I thought I would share this minor achievement all the same!

Go me....

Monday, 16 July 2012


I spend a fairly large chunk of my life having a wee drink or two, and when I am at home alone when I do this, I tend to spend a lot of time online. And it's rather strange things I look up. The other week I was researching porn. It's not as bad as it sounds. There was a reason to this, and a story. I'll tell it soon, I promise. That's fairly extreme. But there are other strange things I like to look up when I'm drunk  . . .

  • celebrity deaths. Particularly tragic ones.

  • natural disasters. I like to know all the details. I know, it's weird. I'm sorry.

  • The Bermuda Triangle. I am mildly obsessed with this. I think it also puts me off travelling anywhere that is remotely near it.

  • books. I can spend ages researching what books I want to read next. I did a similar thing with television programmes recently too. I never really think to do this while sober.

  • geography stuff. Ferry Guy was a bit of a history geek - I'm the same with geography. That's partly why the aforementioned obsession with reading about natural disasters  - things like volanoes, earthquakes and asteroids fascinate and terrify me in equal measures. I look up geography through stumbleupon - it's funny; because of my preferences I can be looking at a funny website one minute and the next thing I'm researching bizarre lakes (yeah, that just happened tonight).

Basically most of the time when I'm drunk I have wikipedia open on a tab on my browser so I have easy access to all the knowledge. I'm sure I mentioned this once before but with my ex from last year this seemed to really tickle him... so much so, that when his friend asked me to tell him about me, this was the first anecdote he could come up with. He had came to my flat and commented on the fact I had a greek mythology book lying there - he thought I was trying to impress him because he had been telling me about some highbrow book he had been reading a while before or something like that. I explained that a few weeks before I had got drunk, decided I wanted to know EVERYTHING and had ordered books on the bermuda triangle, greek mythology and some other stuff. I didn't even remember DOING it until they turned up.

It's a bit counter-productive really, this wanting to know EVERYTHING while drunk, isn't it? Because I might want to KNOW about it, but i'm too tipsy to really pay ATTENTION to what I'm trying to learn about.

Anyway . . . I'm going back to reading about bizarre lakes now. Toodles!

What do YOU like to know about when you're drunk?

Saturday, 14 July 2012

PART 3 . . .

So it had been established we were flirting thanks to my blatant disregard for playing by The Rules. By this point we were on dry land and on the bus and he asked if we were going to be hanging around Belfast once we got there as he had to wait around for his friend he was staying with to finish work. If so, maybe we could all go for a drink. Our friend was already on the way to pick us up though, so it really wasn't going to happen.

All the same, I then did something even MORE unlike me. I said, since we weren't able to go for a drink with him now, why didn't he give us his number and if we were going to be in Belfast city centre over the next couple of days, maybe we could all go for a drink then! Now, this is NEVER something I do, but based on the fact I was fairly sure he was into me, and the fact that I was able to suggest this fairly casually, it didn't cause me the usual anxiety. Wow. He suggested we give him one of our numbers and he'd call it right now - my phone was already in my hand!

(By the way, at this point, Mich had already established he was on twitter and had given him both of our usernames so he could follow us - but I think i had decided I was taking no chances here!)

So we got off the bus and he went to shake our hands goodbye - which I poo-poo'd, said I thought we were were past such formalities and gave him a hug. And then he left and our friend turned up and off we drove to Comber.

I kinda liked this dude, yeah, but I didn't really think much of it. Despite having each others numbers and a tentative idea that we might all go to the pub at some point, I wasn't going to overthink anything. Yet. I'd only met the guy less than an hour ago - what would be the point at this stage???

Anyway, after we had arrived there, we dumped our stuff and headed out to buy alcohol from the off-licence, pose in the village square, and then we popped into the pub for a swift one. This was the point where I decided to check what was going on in the world of twitter. And I had a new tweet. From him! It said "You're forbidden apparently. xx" Oh yeah, I'd forgotten my twitter was private. He had requested to follow me, so I added him and then replied "You're keen, apparently. xx" He quickly responded with the excuse that he had been drinking alone, and then added "Kinda keen." When I replied "Oh really?" to this, i got a text shortly after confirming that he was indeed keen. After a brief text conversation where I had confirmed I also was keen, he asked if we could meet up over the next few days. After checking with my girls, I replied that we would be in the city centre the following evening if he wanted to join us for some drinks. He said that sounded like a plan.

I had known the guy just a few hours and I was already going to see him the next day. I was excited and . . . well, really shitting myself! Would I meet him again and not like him as much? Would he even turn up????

Tuesday, 10 July 2012


Rejection is rejection really, no matter what.

(I know I still haven't continued the Belfast guy story yet. I will. Honestly. I'm just not ready yet. Let's just skip to the end.)

With the most recent guy, like I said previously, I KNEW it couldn't last, that it was impractical, the age difference, the different locations, the fact he worked away. It was finite no matter what. I wish it could have lasted a bit longer, but you can't always get what you want. I know that much with life.

And there's been a lot that's went on since then. In the five or so weeks since whatever it was we had ended, he's still in touch. Albeit only via twitter but sometimes I think maybe we can even be friends. Provided that what I'm taking as banter actually IS banter and not him just being horrible to me. I am going to go for the former though.

But you know what? Regardless of how things turned out or whatever . . . the timing honestly could not have been better. I came home to an ex I had struggled to get over who was no longer in a relationship. And thanks to this new guy . . . thanks to the fact that at this point he was still in my life . . . I was in a stronger position. I didn't start to think maybe me and the ex could get back together. If I had been feeling weak maybe i would have . . . and would ultimately have been hurt. Instead I felt like I had completely moved on.

They do say everything happens for a reason. I don't believe that about a lot of things. But if me and Mich could both have afforded to go abroad . . . if my friend Amy had wanted us to come any other day . . . if we hadn't got that particular ferry that particular day . . . and if he hadn't sneezed when he had and i wasn't programmed to say "bless you" when someone DOES sneeze?

Then I probably would still be fixated on my ex and how miserable I felt over the almost one year wake of our official break-up.

And so, despite any hurt or rejection or anything else I might be feeling . . . I have that to thank the ferry guy for. I got to have a crush, a bit of a holiday fling, some late night texting . . .to put myself in a position I'd never been in before . . . and it got me over my ex once and for all.

And so we go back to the whole the best way to get over a guy is to get under another theory. I still don't believe in that theory whole-heartedly. It's about meeting the RIGHT one to get you over the other. It might not be a long term thing, but in my case it maybe has to be a very certain kind of person, a very certain kind of situation.

The kind of situation where, when it ends, will leave you just upset enough about the fact he was really quite pretty, not to mention young and enthusiastic, rather than the fact that you maybe potentially saw the previous one long term, to once and truly move on from the bond that held you to the previous dude, albeit slightly unwillingly.

So yeah, rejection sucks, and I'm still a wee bit gutted that the ferry guy thing didn't progress . . . but in the end all I can be thankful for is that it made me realise there ARE other guys out there and, just like every other guy I've met in life and every other relationship I've ever started . . . they ALWAYS happen when you least expect it.

Here's to the next unexpected adventure, peeps!

Friday, 6 July 2012


About a fortnight ago I couldn't sleep, went onto asos for something to do (as one does!), and bought some new dresses. One of them, the first time I wore it, garnered many compliments. So yeah, I had to wear it again. Yesterday.

RIP new dress. :-(

At around 5.45 last night, as I tried to navigate my way over a massive bag of shredded paper that someone had very thoughtfully (sarcastic overtones here) left blocking a door . . . I felt the dress rip at the bottom, where the little slit was at the back.  When I touched the back of my dress, I realised it had quite significantly ripped. As in . . . WAS PRACTICALLY SHOWING MY ARSE!!!

Now, don't get me wrong - I like my arse! Some women, I know, have hangups about their bums; I'm not one of them. (Don't hate me - I hate loads of OTHER things about myself so I figure I can be honest about liking my own bottom.) That being said, I still don't want it to be hanging out there involuntarily! I was actually meant to be going straight out from work, but instead I had to go home, trying to cover the rip with my bag, and wondering if I was just being paranoid.

Then I got home and took a picture of the rip....

See what I mean??? Indecent!!!

I love this dress so I'm gutted! Luckily I have a mum, sister and friend who can sew so I'm hoping SOMEONE can remedy this for me. In the meantime, I'll have to perhaps refrain from wearing the dress. Damn it...

Have you had any wardrobe malfunctions recently???

Sunday, 1 July 2012


Happy July everyone!!! (Can you believe it's bloody July already??? This year is flying in!)

Wow, I don't do any Nail on Sunday posts for WEEKS then you get two in a row! Aren't you lucky??? ;-)

I'm a big fan of the french manicure, although to be honest it just isn't COLOURFUL enough for me. I like to make a bit of a statement with my nails, after all. So I like to take the french manicure effect and colours and shake it all up a bit. Coloured tips on colour. A lot of the nail looks I try (for example my looks from the first three weeks of The *Nail* On Sunday) are based around a french manicure technique.

So . . . there is the pale grey with white tips look (and a bit of glitter added) which looked pretty great. (Mental note to self - must buy new pale grey nail polish as it is an AWESOME nail colour. The one in the pic was from Rimmel, by the way.)

Or purple nails with glittery tips. I achieved this look by putting a layer of clear nail polish on the tip of my nail over the purple and then dipping each nail into a tub of silver nail glitter. It made quite a pretty look, I thought. Although I DID admittedly end up covered in glitter!

My most recent look, however, might be my favourite. It involves mint green, purple and silver. And it is MEGA easy to achieve.

It uses Barry M Nail Paint in Mint Green (304), Accessorize Nail Polish in Electric Purple (Shade 26), and Barry M Instant Effects Nail Paint Foil Effects for the silver tips. It's so easy to do - just paint alternate nails purple and mint and then, once it's dry, paint the tips with the silver nail paint! As long as you have a relatively steady hand, then you should get a pretty nice effect. I think both of these colours work great with the silver contrast!

Do you like??? What do you think would make nice colour combinations for this sort of look?

Sunday, 24 June 2012


I'm gonna keep this brief today as I have spent a long day traipsing around Edinburgh without much to show for it (seems silly to go to E-town when Glasgow is up there in the best shopping cities in the 'Kingdom, but sometimes us faux-Weegies need a change of scenery) apart from some stuff from Primark and a bottle of wine . . . the upshot is I can't be bothered spending ages uploading photos - why does it take so long??? But I haven't brought out an "issue" of The *Nail* On Sunday since before I went to Belfast so I figured I needed to at least make a half hearted attempt at one.

This look came about mainly because I had a yellow Barry M nail polish that I always really wanted to use but it just does not suit my skintone AT ALL. I figured, if I wanted to use it, I would have to use it as part of a pattern to tone the scariness down a notch. I figure this attempt worked . . . and it is a pretty pastel look for summer. Oh, and it's mega easy. I don't even really feel like it needs instructions!

But it uses two colours . . . Barry M's Lemon Ice Cream and Barry M's Blueberry Ice Cream (I may have mentioned before that this colour is my very favourite of nail colours). I just put on a coat or two of each on alternate nails, then dabbed on the other colour dot-style, finishing with a layer of clear nail polish once dry. As that annoying meer-kat would say "simples!"

I would like to apologise in advance for the fact that the nails are a bit messy around the edges. I did this look a few months ago now and I was possibly drunk when I did it. (Is anyone REALLY surprised about that "revelation"???)

Next time I'll try for something a bit more elaborate. I promise! In the meantime, can anyone point me in the direction of some easy but pretty nail tutorials?? I need some nail-spiration!

Saturday, 16 June 2012


I'm off to London for work tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it, but you probably know how I feel about packing. The suitcase is currently sitting empty in the middle of the floor, has been for over an hour now while I procrastinate and do pretty much anything else I can to avoid actually putting things inside it. Seriously. I mean, I even mopped the kitchen floor, for fuck's sake. I mean, it was a half-hearted attempt at best but I still did it!

I think I may have to get drunk to do it. After all, everyone knows that boring tasks are more fun while done a little bit under the influence. Housework, paying bills, cooking, packing . . . if you get your drink on while doing this you'll have a blast. Or it'll at least take the edge off the mind-numbing dullness, which is better than nothing.

Now I'm talking absolute shite here so as not to pack. Sorry! I'd better go and do it now I guess.

Sigh . . .

Thursday, 14 June 2012

PART 2 . . .

So in the space since he sneezed and I said "Bless you" and I'd ended up at his table, there was the conversation that sprang up, as he asked first of all who had won our game of hangman, then asked what I was off to Northern Ireland for, then laughed at my mispronounciation of the town "Comber" (which I pronounced like "Comb" with an "er" on the end, not realising that the B ISN'T silent in Northern Ireland . . .). Then I asked him what he was over for (after all, he was on his own) and I suddenly couldn't hear a word he was saying. So, bearing in mind I was really a little bit tipsy by then, given that all I'd eaten all day was a flapjack, had been up since six am, it was around two pm and i was onto my fourth glass of wine . . . I announced "I'll come over" and, wine in hand, circumnavigated my way around the table and sat down opposite him.

I found out a few days later that he may or may not have deliberately started speaking quietly so I would do this. I didn't mind. It was flattering.

So we starting chatting, then Mich came back and joined us and we were all getting on well and I thought "this is good - I quite like this guy and he's ALREADY met one of my friends". This is a good sign." On top of this, no matter how much i had thought i initially fancied him just based on first appearance... after talking to him I REALLY liked him. Like really really. I felt there was something there on his side as well, but I wasn't one hundred per cent sure. Most of the time I'm quite good at telling if a guy likes me (It doesn't happen often after all!) but I HAVE been wrong. Anyway, it all became clear after we docked.

Mich had ran on ahead to retrieve our care package for our friend A who we were staying with (the ferry, in their infinite wisdom, wouldn't let us bring nice bottles of wine on board with us, made us put them in the hold, unbeknownst to them Mich had vodka stowed in her water bottle - what idiots they are!). For some reason, earlier during our conversation, the matter of age had came up. It had turned out he was only 26, some six plus years younger than me. I'd ended up having to produce my passport to prove what age I was. This came up in conversation again, and I ended up jokingly using a line I have never EVER used in real life before. Well, not under these circumstances anyway.

Him: I can't believe you're 32.
Me: I can't believe I am either. I don't feel like I am.
Him: Well, you're only as old as you feel.
Me: Or the person you're feeling...
Him: Well, I'm 26...

And that was that. Then, in that moment, I established we were flirting.

Possibly because I actually said something along the lines of "Am I imagining things here, or are we flirting?"

Yes. I am THAT cringeworthy. I really am . . .

Saturday, 9 June 2012

PART 1 . . .

So it's been nearly a month since Belfast. It was fun - well, despite Mich being sick as a dog for a day of it. There was, as predicted, drinking, guitar hero, eating, zoo-visiting and . . . unexpectedly for me, a bit of a holiday fliing!

I haven't really mentioned it before as technically it was still ongoing, even after the return to Scottish soil. I don't really like talking about these things while they're still happening - it's a bit of a jinx as far as I'm concerned. But it seems to have skidded to a halt now (it was one of those ones where it was probably never going to be that practical anyway and i couldn't really see it lasting - it was more just a matter of just HOW finite it was going to be) so now I feel I can share it. I kinda want to, because it's a nice story. And, like I've alluded to previously, it's a story that's completely unlike me!

It started on the ferry to Belfast. He was sitting at the table next to us and asked us if we would watch his stuff so he could go outside for a fag. I agreed immediately (I think I was doing my make up or something and a bit preoccupied), cheeky Mich asked what it was worth. He took my answer (can't really blame him, lol.) After he went away, I wondered aloud if it was just me or was he quite cute. Scruffy, granted, bit more facial hair than I normally go for, but definitely cute.

But I didn't think too much about it. I don't chat up random guys. That's why I tend to end up with colleagues, ffs. Safer. Easier to get to know without pressure etc, fall for them gradually and all that. I literally cannot remember the last time I saw a complete stranger and instantly took a like to them. Somehow this was different. I realised this around the point that Mich decided we were going to play hangman and drew the weirdest gallows ever. Like hers were waaaayyyyy too realistic - she'd clearly put a lot of thought in - like how the hangman was going to get UP to the hanging part. Steps? A stool? Morbid, much? (Sorry Mich!)  After a brief argument about this, she decided to ask the guy at the next table for an opinion. When she turned back to me, he caught my eye and - I dunno - there was just SOMETHING there. Sounds mad, I know, just some sort of spark or something. But once again, I did kinda brush it off. Like you would ever start chatting someone up on a ferry, I thought. Like I would ever start chatting up someone on a ferry, in fact! Like I would ever chat anyone up deliberately, in general! I'm purely an accidental flirter.

And then . . . probably about 10/15 mins before we docked, while Mich was away using the wee girl's room . . . the cute guy sneezed.

Now . . . every time someone around me sneezes, friends, colleagues, whatever, I say "bless you" on autopilot. I have occasionally done this with strangers. Most of the time I rein myself in. But this time it came out on autopilot.

And, by the time Mich came back, I was sitting at his table . . .


Tuesday, 5 June 2012


After avoiding it for three weeks, I made my return to the gym today. I REALLY couldn't be arsed, to be honest, I'd rather have drank cava for one more day before going back to work tomorrow, but I felt like it was a necessity. Not quite sure how I'm going to get back into a routine with three whopper shifts in a row next week (7.40am-6.10pm - ouch) as well as my work trip to London the following week, but I can't keep putting the health thing off.

It was a struggle, especially since I decided to walk there and back and it was warmer outside than I expected. BUT I managed forty minutes and feel a wee bit better about myself as a result. So THAT'S good. Tomorrow I am going to try and fit in a quick workout before my pole class too. I usually talk myself out of that one, so will be interesting to see if I make it!

In other news, speaking of the whole health thing, I'm also going to try to avoid the booze until at least next Friday. As well all know, the majority (okay, ALL!) of my previous attempts at not drinking have not worked. So once again.... this should be interesting. For now, I'm pretty much determined but give me a particularly bad day and the idea of drowning in a bottle of cava never seems like a bad one. Hmmmmm. Wish me luck anyway! ;-)

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

STUFF . . .

It's funny how you don't always notice the point when you are over something. It only comes to you later on, and then you realise that something, those yucky feelings you'd been having for months, are no longer there, and they haven't been for quite some time.

For me, that realisation came the other day during an unexpected chat with my ex. I suddenly realised that, although I cared about him, I no longer had the feelings for him I once had. The desire for us to get back together. The misery I'd felt that he'd caused me in the messed-up, drawn-out aftermath of our break-up last summer. That constant feeling of walking on eggshells, not knowing if our when he was going to dump our so-called friendship - a friendship which, at the time, was bourne mainly out of my own desire to keep the lines of contact open in hope of a reconciliation

It had all changed now though. I felt relaxed around him. I felt, for the first time, that maybe we actually could PROPERLY be friends. I wanted him to find the woman of his dreams and be happy. I wasn't holding onto bad feeling about him anymore.

And, most importantly, it had actually been WEEKS since I'd felt horrible about the whole thing.

In those weeks since those feelings went away, slipped away without me even noticing, a lot has happened. I've realised that I was perhaps a bit close-minded when it comes to my life, to the way I do things. I've done a couple of things I would never have considered doing before, things that I was never really impulsive enough to do. I'm not talking massive things, like sky-diving or base jumping or whatever. I'm talking things like flirting with a guy I've never met before - or offering out my phone number in the space of 20 minutes or so. These are big steps for me. Honestly.

There's a saying somewhere about how the best way to get over a man is to get under another. I don't believe in that really. I don't need to get over anything anymore. There's no longer anything to get over.

At the same time, there's a lot to be said for the getting under part too. Regardless . . . ;-)

Monday, 7 May 2012


I've read a couple of blog posts recently about people who are essentially finding themselves in a blogging funk or considering giving up blogging. It made me think a bit.

A lot of this seemed down to the fact that they were feeling under pressure to present their posts in a certain way, to promote themselves more, to post a certain thing on a certain day. Or they felt under pressure because they spent too much time looking at their stats. Or they just didn't think that blogging was what it used to be, and if we didn't remember that, then we knew nothing.

I don't know. It all kind of upset me, if I'm honest.

No one should be feeling pressure because of a blog. And, also, just because some people maybe were later to the blogging bandwagon doesn't mean they should feel patronised. Like they've missed out on something amazing by being late to the party.

When I first entered the blogosphere, I was completely blown away by it. The community was amazing, especially in forums like 20SB where you could meet all these people in the same place as you in terms of age and where they were in life etc. It was absolutely brilliant.

But here's the thing . . .

Blogging is STILL amazing.

People begin blogs for different reasons. Some are using them as a means to an end in terms of a business, social marketing ploy, whatever. Others have a niche they want to embrace. Some of us just want to write a fucking personal blog. In other words, it's our corner of the world and we want to write about whatever the hell we want to write about. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not, sometimes people read it, sometimes they don't. When it comes down to it though, if it's a personal blog, it's our space, our place to vent, to rant, to ask opinions of others (if we want to)... we can choose whether we want to post or whether we want to back off and leave it for a while.

You might get companies contacting you asking you to review stuff - you don't have to say yes! (Personally, I only say yes if I want to try the product - eg my post earlier today.) Ultimately, it's about what YOU want to do.

Remember this: no one is forcing you to post. Being a personal blogger is our own choice.

Don't get me wrong, I've been through these phases. I can actually understand why people feel this way, believe it or not.  For example: personally, I tend to post less when I'm happy. And when I'm happy, I'm REALLY not worrying about whether or not someone else in the world is upset about me taking a break. I'm still going to be there with my friends, the ones I've met online, if they need me though.

Friends are friends regardless of where you met them.

In the four/five years I have been part of the blogosphere I have met a lot of great friends... and I continue to do so. It's not forced or a friendship of convenience, it's a genuine friendship formed through sharing a lot of experiences and perhaps having a lot in common. In a lot of ways, blogging is still the same as it was back when I first started. In some ways, even more so . . . back then, i couldn't ever have imagined meeting the friends in real life that I have now as a result of my online life.

My very first bloggy friend was Chele - formerly known as the Tambourine Queen. I met her in the very early days of my blogging and I've never met her in real life . . . but we spent months emailing each other. She likened it to "Beaches". It was the closest internet friendship I have ever had with someone I haven't actually met... and I still do hope to meet her someday, in spite of the fact I live in Scotland and she lives in Thailand. Since then, I have met over the years many other friends I have met through blogging who have became great friends to me and who I get to see often (in particular the ones who live near me *waves to Smidge and Dawn). I've met up with girls from the other side of the Atlantic (well, one. Hopefully more one day.)

But, even though I have my shit days sometimes and think I want to quit, I'd always like to think my blog would still be there. Because I know I will want to come back to it, and too many good memories have came as a result of it. And so . . .

My lesson of the day is this:

Blogging is still fun.

And, when it comes down to it, blogging is completely what you choose it to be.

Two cents thrown into the ring. Over.


I've been an unnatural blonde pretty much permanently since I was fifteen so, as you can probably imagine, seventeen years later my hair isn't in the fabbiest of conditions. Therefore I am a massive fan of intensive conditioner and serum, and am always looking for the Perfect Product that will make my hair a little bit happier.

A few weeks ago, I was approached to review some products made with argan oil, something I am a big fan of, having been using Lee Stafford's arganoil hair serum for some time now and finding it makes a slight difference to the condition of my hair. Argan oil, native to Morocco, is meant to have fantastic effects on the condition of hair. I was eager to give these a go so jumped at the chance.

The products I got to try were the Osmo Berber Oil Shampoo, Berber Oil mask and the Berber Oil hair treatment. I'd already tried the latter as I got some in the goody bag after the International Woman's Day in March, and I was quite impressed with it, but I was curious to see what the other products would be like.

The shampoo was the one I was a little dubious about as I wasn't quite sure if a shampoo which contained a lot of oil was a good idea. Despite my dry bleached hair, my roots can have a tendency to get greasy quickly, and there are certain shampoos which seem to exacerbate this. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find it actually felt like it was really cleaning my hair and it didn't have any greasy residue once I'd dried it. The mask also impressed - it says you can use it as a regular conditioner or as an intensive treatment by leaving it on longer - I like to leave my conditioner on for a few minutes at least - and it made my hair feel softer and silkier and less brittle than usual.

As for the treatment oil, I am definitely a big fan of this - it is quite a slow moving oil so I never end up pouring too much into my hand and overdoing it - you can build it up gradually and it does leave my ends (and strays) looking a bit healthier.

I don't think I'm ever going to find a MIRACLE hair product that is going to give me hair like a supermodel, but in terms of products that help my hair look that wee bit nicer than usual, I definitely think Osmo Berber Oil products are a winner for me!

(Please note: even though I was sent these products for review, this is 100% my own opinion.)

Have you ever tried products with argan oil in them?

Sunday, 6 May 2012


I've never quite been sure about nail polishes that produce a shatter effect when you paint them over another colour. They just never seem to look quite right on me . . . usually because I just paint them over a single colour. I started to think maybe because the shatter effect gives a textured look, it really needs to be painted over something that already HAS a bit of texture. And that is how this look came about . . .

I like this look. Obviously a shatter effect never looks alike on two nails, so even though I've done this a shitload of times now always using the same colours, the effect is always slightly different. And because of this, you also don't need to be too exact or precise with the colours underneath.

So how to recreate? It's actually pretty simple.

 I started off with a layer of blue in a fairly metalic shade. This one is Rimmel Lasting Finish in shade 198 Azure.
 After this, I applied red glittery nail polish across the top half of the nail. Like I said, it doesn't need to be too precise. I used Barry M nail paint in shade 150 Red Glitter. I tend to do two coats of this because it isn't particularly pigmented after one coat due to the glitter.

Then it's time for the shatter part - I used Barry M Nail Paint Instant Nail Effects "Crackle" - 311. This was black obviously (from the picture you can tell I mean!) I'm not very good at the whole shatter/crackle effect thing as i tend to put too much on, but it worked out okay, I reckon. I added a layer of clear nail polish with glitter on top of that - I figured it added a bit of an extra edge (and even more texture, while also smoothing out the roughness from the nail effects polish.) I'm quite happy with the look - it's sort of graffiti-meets-stained-glass-window. In my humble opinion, anyway!

What do you think of these nail effect nail polishes on the market at the moment, like crackle/shatter, or the magnetic effects ones? Have you tried any of these?