Saturday, 8 October 2011


Today as I sat on an aeroplane, I was inspired to do a follow-up to a post I wrote almost three years ago now about the jobs I would definitely never feel capable of doing (see here for the first post). So let's go!

*Air stewardess - this was the one who set it off. I have so much respect for people who do this job because I couldn't. I hate having to deal with the public face to face. I hate having to wear a uniform. And, most of all, I dislike flying. To do it AS A LIVING??? Oh no no no no no no NO!

*Holiday rep - this one also probably got me thinking. 1) I' m not outgoing enough. 2) they earn peanuts. 3) they hardly get any time off 4) the poloshirt/short combo (that seems to be the uniform that I have encountered in my time on holidays) would really not be an outfit I felt was particularly flattering on me. Being in the sunshine would be nice. Not being able to laze about and read a book? Not so nice...

*Lawyer - I couldn't. I mean, I've watched Legally Blonde. Okay, Reese mighta made it look easy. But it sounds like waaayyyy too much memorising to me. Oh, and speaking in public. Not for me.

*Optician - I'm squeamish about my OWN eyes. How could I look deeply into and analyse other people's???

*Salesperson - I don't like to interact with most people. Therefore how could I SELL shit to them??? You see my point, yes?

*Work in a bar/wine shop - If you have ever read my blog at all, you can see my issue here. SELL people alcohol, have ready access to alcohol.... yet not be allowed to drink it myself??? Come on to FUCK!!!

AND . . . so comes to an end part 2 of jobs I can't do. Anymore you reckon I can't do? Or what can you not see YOURself unable to do??? Please feel free to share.


  1. Oooh interesting! Jobs I couldn't do:

    Salesperson - I have a soul. As a survivor of the Sky Customer Service team, I dealt with dozens of customers who had been mis-sold and misled about what they had been purchasing or agreeing to. I'm very much of the 'if I want it, I'll go looking for it in my own fucking time' mindset.

    PR - Godammit my boss had me doing this at a Foodies Festival last year. As in, she turned up unexpectedly (she travelled all the fucking way there!) and made me go round the whole fucking field with cards approaching people. Thank Christ that stall next to ours gave us free Margaritas.

    Anything related to Law Enforcement - e.g. Police, Lawyer... I can get quite hotheaded and opinionated. It takes a lot for me to calm the fuck down and it's difficult for me to distance myself if something really gets to me. So I'd probably try to do harm to folk I KNEW were guilty.

    Nun - do I need to explain?

    Academy Awards Board Member - I'd watch all those movies then say 'they're all the same fucking plot with different actors. This year's Oscars are cancelled, assholes'



  2. I couldn't be a telemarketer. Or a support person for telecommunications companies. Or a door to door salesperson.
    That would just go against all my values as a human being hahaha.

  3. Ooh - i actually work as a dispensing optician so i dont do all the testing in the dark, but i do spend a small amount of time gazing into peoples eyes and helping them with specs!
    I dont think i could work in aged care like my younger sister - she does an INCREDIBLE job, caring for the elderly in a nursing home but i just dont think i could do the showering/helping them go to the toilet part....

  4. Sales - I once worked for Sky as a door-to-door sales person and it was the worst thing I've ever done for money.

    People are shit and so are their attitudes. Working with people is the worst thing in the world, because they're unpredictable, moody and the majority are just cheeky bastards.

    So, yeah, I wouldn't do that again in a hurry! x

  5. I read your first post and I agree about being a masseuse. Don't really wanna have to rub strangers.

    That's funny you said you couldn't be a personal trainer. A friend's daughter is a personal trainer. She's thin but not toned. If I were to hire a personal trainer, it wouldn't be her for that very reason.

    I couldn't be a waitress. I worked in the fast food industry for 2 years and I swore I would never do it again! People were so incredibly rude.

    Any my current job will probably only be good for a year or so. It is SOOOOOOOO boring and people there can be rude sometimes too. A guy told me yesterday that *I* was rude because I made him close out his test before he was ready. He'd been told three times he needed to submit his test and that we would not remain open past closing time.

  6. couldn't be an undertaker or anyone that works with dead people, no way i could handle that.

    Couldn't be a police officer as i think the legal system is fucked and sentencing is way too lenient.

    Couldn't work in a hairdressers as i did my work experience there is was SLAVE LABOUR

    Couldn't do anything to do with feet as I can't stand them :l

  7. Hey, I was in H Town the other day and I thought of you! HI!

    AND...while there, I saw this tiny, young, petite police officer lady chasing a giant, red-faced NED through the town centre and I thought, "Self, you would NEVER be a police officer because that shit is HARD WORK and you don't even get a gun in this country and they have to run after idiots while wearing those big, fuck-off, heavy, inconvenient shoes and hell no. Hell no. There is not enough alcohol for that."

    Other jobs I would never do? Personal assistant to some celebrity asshole, the person who cleans up bloody crime scenes after forensics are done, anything where I have to deal with disagreeable people unless that job includes bopping them on the head with a mallet as part of my job description, any job that involves taking innards out of animals, anything involving me being in proximity to puke.


  8. I couldn't be a lawyer. Although I firmly believe in everyone's right to trail, and in innocent until proven guilty, I;d find it too difficult to represent someone who was admittedly guilty.

    I also couldn't be in the military.


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