Wednesday, 21 September 2011


No one commented on my blog post yesterday and that made me feel sad.

I know it was a lazy post, admittedly. Finding links already on my netbook to three video clips and posting them is a bit shit frankly, even if I thought they were funny. But I needed cheered up.

Tuesday is usually my bad day, and yesterday, frankly, wasn't all that great, as per.

But . . . today? Today felt even worse.

I spent the afternoon trying to stop the tears escaping. Which is frankly embarrassing, especially as the tears set off the snotty nose, which meant the constant nose blowing was probably drawing more than a little attention to the state of me.

Even my pole dancing class couldn't take my mind off my misery, the way it usually can. All my problems usually go out of my head then while I try not to make a fool of myself on the pole. Not today.

And then my eyes kept welling up again on the way home. I was struggling, once again, not to cry.

I don't really know what's wrong.

Well, I have my suspicions what the root of it all is.

But, when it comes down to it, I'm responsible for my own happiness. I can't let the actions of others affect me, no matter how hard it is. I need to at least TRY to be happy.

I suppose.


  1. We all get like this hon, you know where I am if you need company or a chat, or best of all wine and a hug xx

  2. Damn that's horrible isn't it? I hope you feel better soon, I know it's hard. I'm struggling with life in general myself at the moment and some days it's like "WHY DO I HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED?" It's like everything mounts up. No wonder people go bonkers. Anyway, here's to us both getting out of that funk soon. Good times are ahead. We'll make it, P.

  3. I don't think there is anything wrong with a good cry. I hope things work themselves out and you start feeling better soon. Thinking of you!!

  4. I dont want this to come out wrong but - maybe you need to see someone. A professional, if you catch my drift.
    Because tale it from a former sufferer of depression ( and off for almost a decade ).... when you have to fight off tears all day for no apparent reason, something is definately up...
    Thinking of you mate xx

  5. Isn’t pole dancing while crying a little dangerous? Or am I being silly and the slipperiness of the tears is counterbalanced by the stickiness of the snott – if that is the case you can’t but help admiring mother nature….

    I have two very different remedies for when I’m feeling down

    If I want to wallow in it for a while (sometimes it is good to get it out of your system…but not for too long) I go for sombre sad music

    But if I want to snap out of it

    Upbeat happy music is the way forward – that and having a ridiculous over imaginative imagination….

    You could also try laughing in the face of what makes you sad…imagine it in a silly wig and ridiculously baggy clothing that keep falling down – a bit challenging if it is an inanimate object but that never stopped me...or Disney for that matter….

  6. I know how you feel. I'm having my "sad moment" too. its hard to escape it once you give into the misery, so to speak. The best we can do is try. (Admittedly though, I should even feel guilty about feeling sad at all as my life is more or less okay at the moment)

    But I think I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on my end... I hope you see yours soon too! And if I ever (which I hope I will) come around your part of the world in the future, we definitely need to set up a date and time to meet up and bond over a couple of bottles of wine!


  7. Right, thats it's missy. I know I've been a pants friend lately because I've been sorting out my own mess of a lfe but either you're getting yor arse down to me or I'm coming to Scotchland to see you. We'll drink wine, and eat loads and go dancing and forget all about men. Deal? x

  8. I think you're allowed to be sad.

    I remember when my son was a toddler and I was irritated that he was crying and I asked him why he was STILL crying.

    "Sometimes I just need to cry, Mama," he said.

    That pretty much stopped me in my tracks. So maybe you do too.

  9. Company is the best remedy sweetie. You need a distraction! Don't be alone with your thoughts too much. Or alone with too much wine in which to drown them in! You can come hold my hand in the labour room if you like teehee ;-) x

  10. Life is good when some authors like post their articles!

  11. Bloody hell, that's pretty much how I was on Thursday. Was trying so hard not to cry on the bus on the way home, then just erupted as soon as I got off and began walking to the flat. Nicht so gut. :( Distraction! Booze! Etc. x

  12. I'm sorry you've been feeling this way! Some times life catches up on us. My counsellor tells me to not beat myself up for feeling down, just be kind to myself.
    I've been feeling this way quite a bit recently as well. I think in my case a lot of it is caused by lack of sleep, which is caused by not switching things off and getting to bed at a sensible time. So it's my own fault and even harder to not beat myself up over...

    Keep looking forward to your holiday, and kind to yourself! Watch the Scatman video again ;)

    (Yes, I'm working my way through your posts, who knows how many more comments you'll be getting in the next half hour...)

  13. I love pity parties - can I bring some rumaki?


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