Wednesday, 10 August 2011


So, after my second pole dancing class (more on that at a later date), I went out for dinner. I ended up out later than planned and more sober than planned, so I was fairly eager to get home asap to drink my bottle of wine purchased in good old Marks 'n' Sparks.

Which of course meant my broke self thought it would be a good idea to get a taxi. Now, I don't always have the best of luck with taxis (see this post to prove my point) but despite the terrible rain and the trains all being cancelled, there wasn't much of a queue, so I got a taxi fairly quickly. It turned on Gordon Street to head towards the west end... and as it paused to let another car go by, a woman opened the other door and just climbed in!!!

At first I was just kind of stunned. "Hello friend" she intoned to me, and I just looked at her, in shock. Until the taxi driver started telling her to get out. She refused to move, and kept smiling at me beatifically. He opened the door and told her to get out.

"She's my friend" she told him, pointing at me. "We are friends. Drive please."

He tried to remove her from the taxi. She wouldn't go. "If you won't go, I'll get that copper over there to come and get you out," he threatened.

I think that's when something snapped in me. I'm always the pushover, always the one trying to keep the peace. Like I said, I wasn't even drunk. But I knew this woman was trying to take advantage of me and for once, I wasn't going to let her.

So this is what came out of me:

"I will fucking PUSH you out of this taxi if you don't move!"

She looks at me, all wounded but calm. "We go to your house?"

Me. "No we fucking DON'T. Get out of this taxi right now or I will THROW you out of it!"

Wide-eyed hurt look at me from her. I swear to god this woman could MAJOR in Conveying-Expression-With-Your-Eyes-101.

Me: "I don't know why you're fucking looking at me like that. I don't even know you. Get the FUCK out. NOW!"

Yes, I had transformed into some little Glasgow hairy who has more swear words in her vocabulary than anything else but do you know what? I was proud that for once I had stood up for myself. Maybe it's all the shit that's gone on in my life the past few months. Maybe it's all the needless rioting elsewhere that's got to me. But I was sick of letting people think they could just walk all over me in that moment.

The taxi driver forcibly removed her from the taxi. Two seconds later, she pulled the same trick with another taxi. My driver told the other driver to chuck her out, but apparently she wouldn't be moved. I doubt she paid, wherever she ended up.

Wonder how I would have reacted to it if I had actually been drunk??? Very weird though. Sometimes I feel like these things only happen to me!

Weird taxi experiences, anyone?


  1. When I went to see Senna me and my friend were chatting about the film to the taxi driver, all of a sudden he exclaims "is he as fast as me?" and starts to drive like an absolute maniac. Then he made us feel even more secure by admitting he's only crashed twice, although apparently it wasn't his fault.
    Another time me and my sister got a taxi home and the taxi driver inserted a CD which just played children's voices.
    Are all taxi drivers insane?

  2. That is so creepy! I think a taxi driver here would just let her stay in. Good for you and the driver for not letting her get away with that nonsense!

  3. I never take a taxi, I think last time was in Mexico to get to the hotel from the airport.

  4. Okay that is....supremely creepy. Good for you on getting angry and getting that bitch outta there! She deserved it.

  5. Um, what the hell?! What a psycho! I probably would've done physical damage to this woman.

  6. OMG how scary! Well done you for speaking out to her tho! I would've been too scared that she would whack me haha

  7. I wonder where she ended up.
    Glad to hear you made it home safely... and hopefully finished that bottle of wine!

  8. Good for you! I'm glad it ended well for you! My taxi story is similar but unfortunately the woman started bashing me in the face with the heel of her stilletto heel I ended up waiting in Emergency for hours to get fixed up - two weeks before my wedding!!! Luckily she missed my eye and make up covered the little scar I had.
    Some people are so CRAZY!!!

    Also, I'll never get in a taxi alone again. I did on one bad night - my friend didn't turn up at the pub - he had died in an accident. I didn't know he had passed away but I just had a creeped out feeling - something wasn't right and I wanted to go home. The guy looked at me creepy like and stroked my arm...luckily I sent him to my man's house (now husband) and all ended safely - phew!

  9. What a weird story, good for you anyway, she was definitely trying to take advantage, who did she think she was?! xx

  10. I've never heard of such a thing! That is totally whack. I'm delighted you stood up for yourself and cussed her out the door.

  11. Oh, wow--this /is/ unbelievable. I would have been so freaked out. I'm glad you stood up for yourself but, wow, how scary.

  12. I cannot help but LoL; I can just imagine this cheeky wee bint trawling for a taxi and ending up face-to-face with a angry you..

    I mean, I've heard of people standing in taxi ranks and trying to group up with strangers in order to share some of the cost, but to just randomly jump in? What did she think, that you were going to just sit there and be like "yes, this woman that may or may not be a serial killer, is my dear friend Franny from years ago"...


  13. This has to be the craziest taxi story I've ever read that didn't involve some sort of illicit activity! So crazy. I'm glad you stood up for yourself!

  14. That is friggin awesome! I need that moment! I am so the pushover!

    I had a taxi driver stick around the hotel he dropped me off at & called my room to see if I was ok!?!? WHAT THE!? Needless to say I didn't stay there that night!


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