I feel like a bit of a tool today. Not just because of the usual stupidity that has surfaced over the past few weeks about the decisions I have made over the past six months or so and whether they were the wrong ones all along. I just kept doing stupid things.
For example, I almost cried in a meeting where I was asking about annual leave and was told I probably wouldn't be able to get the week off I wanted. I wasn't ACTUALLY crying, but I could hear my voice rising to a bit of a squeak and was struggling to blink back the tears. Heck, I can't help being over-emotional right now, but it's STILL bloody embarrassing.
Then at lunchtime, I went to sit in the kitchen with my friend and realised that, despite carefully planning my lunch of crackers and pate, painstakingly counting out crackers and placing them in tin foil, then sectioning off some pate to stick in a tupperware compartment . . . I HAD FORGOTTEN A BLOODY KNIFE TO SPREAD IT WITH! Cut to me, using a FORK (because of COURSE I had a fork, even though I had absolutely no need for one) to spread my pate on cracker after cracker, in front of other human beings!!! Duh Paula.
And so to the last stupidity of the day. Which was the stupidest. Me getting up to leave at 4pm, doing my usual OCD check of my bag to make sure I had everything . . . and realising I'd forgotten my housekeys! I usually keep them in the inside pocket of whatever bag i'm using. And they weren't there. I had changed bags this morning, and I'm usually really paranoid that I might forget my keys so always check, but I didn't seem to have them on this occasion! Oh shit! I'd locked myself out!
Cue the panic, which I had of course to share with my surrounding deskmates. "What will you do?" they asked me, as I rummaged frantically through my bag. "How will you get in?"
"I don't know," I mumbled, once again fighting the urge to cry. (What can I say? I'm miserable AND potentially hormonal as well.) "I definitely don't have them. I've checked everywhere. I'm going to have to hope that one of my flatmates is in and actually answers the door. I might even" *gulps* "have to TALK to them!"
But all the same, I marched out of the office, not wanting to stay a moment longer. As I swung my bag onto my shoulder though, I noticed that my bag had a large zippy section on the FRONT of it. And - oh yes - my keys were in there.
How I'd managed not to notice that zippy pocket is beyond me. It's not even like it was a NEW bag; I've had it for years.
I'm going to blame my sadness for making me so stupid.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a new day and I will redeem myself and prove that I'm actually clever after all.
Proving I'm not miserable . . . well, that will probably be rather more of a challenge . . .
What stupid things have you done recently? Please, help a girl out here - it's Cheer-me-Up Tuesday and I NEED cheering up!!!