Yesterday I was told in a work capacity that I am a very good worker but I lack confidence.
This wasn't a surprise to me. It has, in fact, been a recurring theme through my life.
As a child, my school reports were peppered with the "lacks confidence" phrase. "Clever but lacks confidence." "Good at (insert subject here, unless it was PE) but lacks confidence" . . . blah blah blah ad nauseum.
Unsurprisingly, my lack of confidence isn't just in my ability to do things. I do suffer from a lack of confidence in general. You might find it hard to believe, but I've actually been plagued by shyness most of my life. The funny thing about shyness though is that it can manifest itself in strange ways. You can be scared to speak 95% of the time and then be the life and soul of the party the other 5. Some people catch me in that 5% and think that's the person I am. But it's not. I'm pretty much constantly doubting how interesting I am, and why anyone would actually be interested in talking to me.
(Or in reading this blog for that matter. In particular, this post!)
I guess I'm learning though. My shyness is still there, lurking under the surface, and it still pops up with unfortunate regularity, but it's certainly not as bad as it used to be. It's certainly not holding me back as much as it used to. (Alcohol possibly also helped with that, but that's another story.) And hopefully the fact I'm gaining more confidence in myself as I age means I'll have more confidence in my ability to do certain things.
I certainly want that to be the case. I'm trying my best to be confident it can be. Because if I don't even have confidence in THAT . . . then this whole post has been pretty much a moot point!
What about you? Do you see yourself as a confident person or are you the opposite? And have you ever been told you lack confidence?