Thursday, 31 March 2011


Today in work I discovered I'd made a mistake, and it's been preying on my mind ever since.

It was a pretty bad error on my part. I mean, it's not like I KILLED someone (thank Christ I don't have a job where a mistake can result in that - the pressure would be waaaayyyy too much for me to handle), but in terms of the work I do, it wasn't great. It could have repercussions.

To be honest though, it's not the possible repercussions that are getting me down the most. It's the self-hatred that has poisoned my mind due to the realisation of this mistake.

I loathe making mistakes and anytime I do, I can't help but overthink things. I can't let it lie. I over-analyse and try to work out how it happened and in this case I CAN'T work it out because I was just clearly being a complete fuckwit. Which makes me even ANGRIER with myself.

(By the way, I feel like I should point out that although I make a lot of mistakes, most of them are not work-related. Most of them are along the lines of having that fifth glass of wine when I knew four was enough and then doing something ridiculously stupid. Which I don't hate anywhere near as much as when I do something stupid - like this mistake - while completely sober.)

I can be way too hard on myself sometimes, but this is something that is going to be in my head for a while.

Which is unfortunate as I'm now on holiday for the next week. Grrrr.

Do you beat yourself up over even the smallest mistake? How do you stop yourself thinking about it?

Friday, 25 March 2011


Ever since I was introduced to the documentary "Grizzly Man" a few weeks ago, I have really wanted a pet fox. (By the way, if you like documentaries, and haven't seen this, check it out. It's pretty fascinating.)

Which is really strange, since the documentary was actually TECHNICALLY about a guy who was obsessed with bears, but foxes pretty much upstaged the bears in the film. And now, despite the fact that they apparently would not make good pets, I still want one. They're sooooo damn adorable. Also, in the area I live in, they sometimes just waltz past you in the street, without a care in the world. And I'm not even scared when they do that. (And I scare easily.)

I know I can't have one as a pet really. But I still REALLY want one.

If you could have any kind of animal as a pet, what would you choose?

Wednesday, 23 March 2011


I need to stop doing stupid things under the influence . . .

Last week after a drunken night out, I woke up in the bath. As in, a bath with water in it. Luckily, I didn't have the patience to run more than an inch or two of water. Phew.

The following night (St Paddy's), me and my friend stopped by a chip shop, where I bought chips and cheese and she bought chips and curry sauce. We shared a taxi home then I picked up the chips and curry sauce by accident. And proceeded to spill it all over myself. I had curry-bag, curry-dress, curry-mac and even, as I discovered the next day, a curry-purse! It is not nice to currify (a new word I have just invented) your clothes - just sayin'!

Last night I went to a see an American stand-up comedian. And apparently fell asleep during it. (It wasn't that I wasn't enjoying it, you understand). The best bit? I didn't even KNOW I'd fallen asleep once I'd woken back up. As far as I'm concerned, I saw the whole show. Weird, huh?

Now, I know there is a bit of funniness to all of these stories but I really DO need to calm down a bit. Doing stupid shit and barely remembering doing it - that's not cool.

How do I tell people about it otherwise???

What stupid things have YOU done under the influence (or while sober, even!) recently?

Monday, 21 March 2011


I don't know if I've mentioned this (I actually don't know if I have, I'm not being sarcastic or anything!) but I'm going on holiday in less than two weeks!!! Yay. Seriously. Very excited. Me and my sister are off to Fuerteventura - the first time I've been to my beloved Canary Islands in over two years.

Anyhoo . . . before that happens . . . we have an event I hate.

The clocks going forward by an hour.

Why do I hate it??? Well, does ANYONE like to lose an hour of their weekend? Why can't they make the clocks go forward at, let's say, one pm on a Wednesday afternoon? That way we're one hour CLOSER to the weekend, not losing part of it. Sounds better to me.

For the record, let's keep the clocks going back an hour in late October happening in the early hours of a Sunday, as always. I like the extra hour I can spend in bed, or drinking wine, or lying in bed and THINKING about drinking wine, or lying in bed AND drinking wine . . . that's all good, and all fine for a Sunday. I even like to wait until the Sunday when i wake up to change the time on my watch. It's such a nice feeling to say "Oooh, it's ten am on a Sunday . . . aaaahhhhhhhh, bliss. Oh . . . but wait! It's actually only 9am. Back to sleep for me!"

On the other hand, when it comes to the clocks going forward, I try to remember and put my watch forward the night before. Because otherwise I forget, and that is SUCH a horrible feeling. There was one time it got to 3pm on a Sunday afternoon before I remembered it was in fact 4pm. I had actually lost an hour. Another time I arranged to meet my mum in the city centre but forgot to change my watch and it was only when she text to say she was on her way into town while I was still lazing around in my bed that I realised what was going on.

My theory is this: if you don't accept in advance that you've lost that hour and just EMBRACE it, you actually feel like you've lost half a day. It's heartbreaking!

Isn't it weird how 60 minutes can sometimes feel like such a big loss? Especially on a weekend . . .

Wednesday, 9 March 2011


I've just been watching the episode of "Friends" where Ross wears the leather trousers. You know the one I mean? Where he ends up coming out of his date's bathroom with his trousers in his hands and his legs covered in an odd mixture of talcum powder and baby lotion?

His date looked pretty appalled by the whole thing. I'm assuming, since she never appeared or was mentioned again in future episodes, that this was a bit of a deal-breaker for her. Which got me thinking - if I was on a date with a guy and that happened, would it actually put me off???

There's things that with me, could be potential deal-breakers:

  • Excessive deliberate flatulence. I don't care what people say, farting isn't big, and it isn't clever. I know we all can have our accidental slip-outs, but guys who think it's funny to do it all the time . . . that is not cool with me.
  • Constant game playing. Do I need to justify this one really?
  • Continuous non-responses to texts/emails/etc. If I wanted to feel like a stalker, I'd . . . um . . . become a stalker.
  • Slagging off my drinking habits. Let he without his own drunken embarrassing story cast the first pint glass at me and all that . . .

Now, what happened with Ross . . . that wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me. In fact, I would actually find that absolutely hilarious. I'd probably think of it as a story to tell our kids one day. Or, since I'm not sure I actually want kids, it's the kind of story he'd be bribing me not to tell all our friends.

Which I would, by the way. Excessively. Particularly when I was drunk.

I mean, the only thing wrong with the story is that he was wearing leather trousers. Which is probably a deal breaker too. So I wouldn't have got to the bathroom stage. But that's not really the point . . .

So what about you? If that situation happened to you, what would be your reaction? What are your deal breakers???

Monday, 7 March 2011


Me? I was grumbling under my breath about the guy in front of me on the pavement because he was walking really slowly, seemed to be taking up most of the pavement, and holding me up from getting home from a hard day's work.

Yep. I was being a moody be-atch. (But, like I said - hard day's work!)

The outcome? As I finally stalked past him in overtake mode, I somehow managed to trip over my own foot and stubbed my toe on the ground. Ouch.

Yep. Karma's a bitch.

(Although people who walk slowly and get in my way are STILL annoying as hell, and no amount of bad karma will stop me from thinking that. Sorry.)

Has karma kicked YOUR ass recently? Do share. . .

Thursday, 3 March 2011


Okay, so if you've been reading my blog for pretty much any amount of time, you'll know that I get angry fairly easily, especially when it comes to being out in public with PEOPLE. Eeek. I suffer from intense pavement rage and sometimes think people who just randomly STOP in the street without checking whether or not someone is right behind them should possibly be fined. I feel similarly about cyclists who think they have the right of way while cycling on a pavement and who also think the rules of the road don't apply to them when travelling alongside cars.

But recently I've been suffering from severe road rage.

Which is odd since I don't have a car and can't drive.

And am hardly ever in anyone else's car.

It's an observational sort of road rage. Because, y'know, I have enough to deal with on my way to work with the aforementioned cyclists trying to run me over while I'm walking where I'm supposed to be and they're cycling where they're not, or trying to overtake superslow walkers who always seem to come in packs, or trying to navigate a narrow part of pavement in the rain with an umbrella wavering around above me, and a person walking in the other direction ALSO with a brolly...

Now I've got to deal with motorists getting in my way too!!!

Seriously, I honestly don't know how some people actually ever managed to get their driver's licence, because they don't seem to have a clue what they're doing. Do they even HAVE a licence, I can't help but wonder?

And if they CAN drive, well they're just arseholes. Here are some examples:

***I have many roads to cross on my way to work, and I generally stick to crossing safely at traffic lights. Recently this has become virtually impossible though as impatient drivers zoom through red lights rather than just fucking braking at the light like they're SUPPOSED to and I can't trust the green light in MY favour to actually stop them from hitting me!

***In addition, there seems to be a more regular occurrence of drivers blocking the junction so that when the green man appears for my safe journey across the road, I can't actually GET across the road because there's cars all OVER the bloody place and no space for me to squeeze through!!!

***On my way to work a few days ago, I was sprayed by a car by surface water at the side of the road. Now, I know sometimes this is unavoidable - I understand that. But this car had went into the bus lane to overtake a line of cars queuing at a red light . . . it was going too fast and wasn't where it should have been. ARSEHOLE!

On a related note, a few years ago I actually had to go home and CHANGE when a lorry ran a red light on purpose and sprayed me from head to toe with water from the side of the road. Luckily it was only a five minute walk home, because when I got there I realised that my face was all dirty and my make-up had ran thanks to the water. Yup - HE was an arsehole too!!!

It's a bit shit that I can't feel safe crossing a road at a green traffic light because some people are impatient selfish buggers who can't just hang tight and sit and wait for a light to change. I know not everyone is like this and it must be a minority, but it's really pissing me off. And I must be missing out on some other niggly little driving crimes.

Do you notice any of these driving crimes, either as a pedestrian or a driver? Do they irritate YOU too??? Can you think of any more?