Thursday, 26 August 2010

KISSING THE PAYROLL . . .

I have always had a tendency to get involved with guys I work with.

I guess it's only natural. I'm naturally pretty shy, I'm not GOOD at dating, I'm not good at being chatted up by a random stranger, and I don't suffer from many cases of lust-at-first-sight, as in "Oh my god, I just HAVE to have that stranger standing right across the room even though I've never met him before in my life." (I live in Glasgow, after all, not a Hollywood movie.)

(Speaking of Hollywood, think how many actors and actresses meet - or cheat - on filn sets with their co-stars. Just saying.)

So it follows, therefore, that most of the guys I DO meet and talk to are through work.

My first proper boyfriend was a colleague in the department store where I had my first fulltime job. My second was a colleague I shared a computer with for a week, during training in another job. I wasn't even attracted to him at the beginning, but by the end of that week, I had gotten to know him and liked him in a MAJOR way. He turned out to be a first class arsehole in the end (left the job and then dumped me through a friend, while having his mum fend off my phone calls) but it's formed a bit of a pattern since, the whole work romance thing.

Obviously, after several failed romances and an ill-advised fling, I realised that the whole work romance thing possibly wasn't all it was cracked up to be. So I tried the whole hooking up with a guy I went to school with thing. That was with F, of course, and it turned out to also be an F for fail (although a fun few months were had, admittedly.) Then I tried the whole meeting a guy at a party thing (Swine Guy). Look how that turned out.

Ha.

So looking back it's probably not the work romance thing that failed, perhaps it was my choices. :) I dunno, What I DO know though is that when you ARE having a thing with a colleague, it certainly makes WORK more entertaining. Trust me, anything that livens one's job up is a good thing. It can be like being back at school at times - seeing the object of your crush in the classroom, or walking by in the playground. Remember how fun THAT was?

And you know what the other does for a living and who they work with, so if you're ever at a loss for conversation, at least you have that to fall back on. Work gossip CAN be fun after all. :)

You can see them even when they don't want to see you. (That sounds stalkerish. Oh well.)

On the downside though, when they break your heart, you have to see them. Even when they don't want to see you. Even when YOU don't want to see them.

I've been there. More than once. And that is a killer. Trust me.

That being said . . . I wouldn't rule a work romance out again. Unless I end up working somewhere one day where it is completely forbidden. If it's right, it's right and all that.

I guess it just depends on whether I find the right one there. :)


What's your opinion on office romances? Have you ever done it? Would you? Share your stories, don't be shy!

11 comments:

  1. I have done it and I would again. My last two boyfriends were from the same workplace and they *may* have overlapped a bit. That lead to some nerve-wracking days!

    Sometimes work feels like the only place to meet people, but it DEFINITELY has a downside!

    I'm starting a new position in an office of just men and I'm definitely planning on treading lightly so as not to epically mess up the work opportunity...but I'm also excited that it's in a big office building and I plan on checking out a few office neighbors for a slight variation on dating people from work!

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  2. I've never had an office romance...tempted, where I single I definitley wouldn't rule it out! I think if you're both mature enough not to bring the drama to work with your lunch then it'd work fine :) same goes for if you break up!

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  3. Definitely! I met my husband at work, but that was my only "work romance". I do think the gossip stuff can get in the way of you having a normal relationship though.

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  4. Unfortunately I have no experience by way of office romances and that kinda thing.

    I can tell you, though, that a one night stand with a classmate in college - where you sorta get feelings, and they're a TOTAL jerk and don't let you down gently - kinda sucks. Even if you find out years later that you took his virginity on that one night stand...

    *holds head in hands* I really pick them, don't I? lol

    x

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  5. I've only ever dated one guy I worked with...luckily he left before we broke up - I imagine it wouldve all knds of awkward otherwise!!!

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  6. I've never dated a colleague, but I've had two in separate workplaces make a move. One of which I was hanging out with in our group of coworkers outside of work, and he invited me (and so I thought other people!) round for a movie night, except it was JUST US and I went to the loo and came back to find him SHIRTLESS. Naturally I made my excuses and left... told some of my girlfriend colleagues... who naturally spread it through the whole company... poor guy!!

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  7. OMG, im like the opposite of you when it comes to office romances. I am so terrified of flirting at work and getting in over my head and I also have this fear of getting fired b/c of a romance gone wrong AHH!

    But out at bars, sometimes having had a couple of drinks, I am ALL about the sexy stranger across the bar looking at me ever so seductively. I love flirting at bars. And I just can't, CAN'T, do it in the office environment. Which I probably should because men at bars rarely end up to be dating material-worthy.

    -L

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  8. I've had crushes on guys I've worked with but never actually got into a romance with them. Mostly because the guy NEVER felt the same way and partly because I've always worried that work would become unbearable after we inevitably broke up.

    I did get asked out by a guy at work once. He asked if I might like to go out for an ice cream some time. Yeah, ice cream... I hadn't really thought much about this particular guy before but the moment he asked me out, I suddenly became highly repulsed by him. So yeah, we didn't go out.

    He then became best friends with my cubicle buddy and after that, he came around everytime he had a break so that he could talk to my cube mate. I just ignored him.

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  9. I have instituted a strict "no dating coworkers" policy for myself based on previous experiences.

    After the serious relationship I had broke up I had to transfer because neither of us could deal with it very maturely and then when I went out to dinner twice with one guy people were asking me if we were dating before we even went on a date! I hated the gossip and people being all up in my business.

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  10. 1 year in the office - 1 office romance.

    Failure was distance (he moved to Hong Kong and I ... well, I had to stay here). Unfortunate me! I would have moved with him, seriously, and I think he would have done too - but I guess at this moment none of us could afford losing our job...

    Distance sucks...

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  11. Giiiiiiirlll, you totally need to read my edlund 101 rules about this kind of thing.

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