I've been playing about with my new phone in the past week or so, getting to know it a bit better.
NOT in an intimate way, I should stress. But since we're ON the subject . . .
Out of curiosity, as I browsed the Droid Market on my phone, I came across (not literally!) an app called "Vibrator".
Of course, me being me and all, and it being free and all, I simply HAD to download it. HAD to. (It forced me. Honest.)
I didn't want to like USE it on myself or anything (I'm not THAT skint, I can go buy a new toy if I'm desperate) but I wanted to just see what sort of functions it actually had.
And I wondered if people actually USED it as a vibrator. "Oh look, dear, I have a brand new phone here. And a vibrator application. Let's try it out on you, shall we?"
I'm sorry, that's a bit weird. It sort of like sexual abuse of your phone, when it comes down to it.
But I couldn't really see what else people would use it for. I mean, most people already have a vibrate option on their phone anyway - why would you want another one UNLESS it was for dirrrttyyy purposes? Yeah.
So I checked out some of the comments on the application. Such gems as " Doesn't get me going!!! :(" or " My girl loves this app", pretty much confirmed my suspicions.
Although this one kinda confused me . . .
"It does wat its meant to do. I wouldnt put it down there for pleasure tho. All u females better hope u dont get a yeast infection."
(Yes, I copied it verbatim - I am not personally responsible for the lack of apostrophes and text spelling).
It's the "I wouldn't put it down there for pleasure tho" part that confused me. Isn't the implication there that there is ANOTHER purpose to putting your vibrating phone down "there"? So your vajayjay can also communicate with the world? I'm sure it doesn't need to vibrate to do that!
I'm so confused!!!!
Anyways, I checked out the app all the same just to see what was going on with it. There was the straight up vibration, various cycles and, much to my amusement, the ability to vibrate in morse code! So you put what you want to say into the phone and it vibrates it back to you.
Oooh the possibilities are endless.
Sorry, I'm still disturbed about the fact that people are doubling up their phones as vibrators. Does anyone else think that's weird? What if someone phoned you in the middle of you using it for its other purpose? It be kind of like someone walking in on you having sex.
Just . . . . ew!!!
I also wonder . . . . is there a paid version of this app? What options would the paid version offer? The orgasm of the year? (And perhaps supply some sort of inner sterilisation with it too?)
I am rather disgusted, frankly. There are some strange people out there in this word.
What do you think? And have you found any weirder apps for phones than this?