Thursday, 15 July 2010


I've been playing about with my new phone in the past week or so, getting to know it a bit better.

NOT in an intimate way, I should stress. But since we're ON the subject . . .

Out of curiosity, as I browsed the Droid Market on my phone, I came across (not literally!) an app called "Vibrator".

Of course, me being me and all, and it being free and all, I simply HAD to download it. HAD to. (It forced me. Honest.)

I didn't want to like USE it on myself or anything (I'm not THAT skint, I can go buy a new toy if I'm desperate) but I wanted to just see what sort of functions it actually had.

And I wondered if people actually USED it as a vibrator. "Oh look, dear, I have a brand new phone here. And a vibrator application. Let's try it out on you, shall we?"

I'm sorry, that's a bit weird. It sort of like sexual abuse of your phone, when it comes down to it.

But I couldn't really see what else people would use it for. I mean, most people already have a vibrate option on their phone anyway - why would you want another one UNLESS it was for dirrrttyyy purposes? Yeah.

So I checked out some of the comments on the application. Such gems as " Doesn't get me going!!! :(" or " My girl loves this app", pretty much confirmed my suspicions.

Although this one kinda confused me . . .

"It does wat its meant to do. I wouldnt put it down there for pleasure tho. All u females better hope u dont get a yeast infection."

(Yes, I copied it verbatim - I am not personally responsible for the lack of apostrophes and text spelling).

It's the "I wouldn't put it down there for pleasure tho" part that confused me. Isn't the implication there that there is ANOTHER purpose to putting your vibrating phone down "there"? So your vajayjay can also communicate with the world? I'm sure it doesn't need to vibrate to do that!

I'm so confused!!!!

Anyways, I checked out the app all the same just to see what was going on with it. There was the straight up vibration, various cycles and, much to my amusement, the ability to vibrate in morse code! So you put what you want to say into the phone and it vibrates it back to you.

Oooh the possibilities are endless.

Sorry, I'm still disturbed about the fact that people are doubling up their phones as vibrators. Does anyone else think that's weird? What if someone phoned you in the middle of you using it for its other purpose? It be kind of like someone walking in on you having sex.

Just . . . . ew!!!

I also wonder . . . . is there a paid version of this app? What options would the paid version offer? The orgasm of the year? (And perhaps supply some sort of inner sterilisation with it too?)

I am rather disgusted, frankly. There are some strange people out there in this word.

What do you think? And have you found any weirder apps for phones than this?


  1. I guess it would feel good if you had a headache and held it against your temple or the back of your neck. But then again, they say that the Bog 'O' is an awesome cure for headaches too, so you could use it both ways I suppose. Makes me not want to touch anyone else's handheld device EVER. Ewwww! - G

  2. Literal phone sex. Interesting. I must say, I don't think I will ever want to borrow anyone's phone from now on.

  3. Euuuuh..ewwww, what the hell?
    These apps are going too far for me now. Thank god my phone is still a beside cell phone, no apps or downloads.

  4. You're sick. And this is why I love you.

    P.S Seriously though, the phone-licking has to stop now.


    Yes, I yelled that.

    That's just wrong. If you have a phone that's sophisticated enough that it takes apps, you can afford a real vibrator. WTF?

    Like Amanda said, think twice before borrowing someone's phone from now on. :)

  6. I should add, there was very good reason for the phone-licking.

  7. OK, now this is just weird! I used to have a phone with a vibrate opposed to ringing, for when you wanted to be discrete about getting calls in the office and so on.....NOT for putting in your VAHJAYJAY (funniest word I've ever heard for it by the way!)

    Just waiting to read about someone pitching up in the ER with a phone stuck in their VAHJAYJAY....actually, hasn't that already happened?

  8. Dear God, there really is an app for (nearly) everything!

    Wouldn't use a phone as a vibrator. Bad enough when I'm looking at porn on my phone and having 'personal time' when someone texts me - would be more off-putting if it interrupted whatever rhythym you had going.

    (haha Vahjayjay!)

  9. wow that is beyond disturbing!

  10. I had the Google phone and it too had that app. Kyle of course wanted to download it so I did and I, too, think it's worthless. I didn't use it. (Can you imagine using it then having to answer your phone?) Gross. I'd like to think that there aren't seriously people in the world who would find it useful for THAT purpose.. although I know there are

  11. Eww...I would not want to use it for pleasure purposes and then also use it to talk on the phone.

    I used to work with a girl who would put her phone on vibrate and then put it in her bra during working hours. Don't know why she couldn't have just left it on her desk like all my other co-workers did with theirs. Actually, I think most of them kept their in their purse most of the time unless they were expecting a really important call or something.

  12. I think this post is evidence of how different a man and a woman's brain typically is. If a guy had a vagina, we would never leave the house. We would be constantly exploring it and probing it like we were freakin' Jacques Cousteau.

  13. This is going to sound so bad BUT I used to, very deliberately, carry my LG Chocolate in my hip pocket. It was close enough to vibrate thru to my hip bone and give me a little thrill every time the phone rang. But that was a little thrill not a full out sex toy thrill...

    Hmmm... I know people love there iphones but wow..


  14. haha while this is a little disturbing.. umm i have a droid and im about to look it up. I may have to post about what i find in my "experiment." Im not coping you though... thanks for the idea :) I mean reallllly thanks.

  15. This has disturbed me so much I don't even have the words.

    If anyone I know has an i-phone I'm not going to touch it -

  16. I love love love droid market.

    do you have the sky map application?

  17. That's pretty disturbing for me. Haha. You would put it on your ear after you put it down there? YIKES. lol.


You wanna leave me a comment? Come on, you know you want to really . . . ;)