Monday, 21 June 2010


So I've mentioned before that I'm hardly ever sick. I've not been off work sick in about four years. I always feel too guilty to do so, and even make it in on the occasions I'm hungover. Which, let's face it, is fairly often.

Today I've been unable to move from my bed

It started last night. Not long after I ate a meal, which makes me think it is food poisoning. It was a meal I cooked, so I must have done it to myself.

It started off with stomach pain. I lay around with a hot water bottle on it, hoping it would go away. But as midnight slipped into the early hours and I lay down to try and sleep, I immediately discovered another problem.

Lying down made me feel like I was going to be sick.

I can't remember the last time I vomited and it wasn't due to too much alcohol. Seriously.

I spent some time hanging out on the bathroom floor next to the toilet bowl but nothing was happening. I took a basin back to bed with me and lay back down. Within a couple of minutes I wanted to puke again but nothing doing.

I was bored and ill all at once and it was the middle of the night. So I started googling vomiting, doesn't that make sense? No? I just really wanted to know if there was a time limit on how long it could take between the initial urge to be sick and the actual act of vomiting.

I found out that there is a rate my vomit website. Seriously, WTF? (I'm not even linking to it, if you are sick enough (no pun intended) to want to view other people's spew, just google "vomit" and its the second link.)

I also found out that in order not to get vomit in your lungs, you should have your head below your hips while spewing. So if you're at the toilet bowl, you should be standing up with your head inside the bowl.


Of course, then I started to panic thinking if I DID puke, I was going to do it wrong and end up choking on it or something, and that stopped me even MORE from wanting to sleep, and at the same time the pain in my stomach was getting worse, and it was now 5.30 am and I still hadn't gotten to sleep and I STILL hadn't vomited . . .

Eventually I fell into an anxious sleep, clutching the basin to me just in case.

I fully intended on still going to work but at 8.30am, which is make or break time (I allow myself 90 minutes to get up, ready and into work, and 10am is the latest I can be there), I tried to get out of bed and realised that there was no way I would be able to function with the stomach pain and lack of sleep. So I waited until I knew my manager would be in and phoned in sick.

I HATE phoning in sick because 1) I feel guilty, especially because there is so much work to do and 2) I feel like the person you are speaking to on the phone thinks you're lying. And even though I'm genuinely not well, I feel like I'm over-explaining things, y'know?

Anyway, now I'm lying here in bed, wide awake (I wasn't able to get back to sleep) and all I have inside me is a tiny bit of diet Pepsi and two Anadin painkillers. (I know water would have been better but the diet Pepsi was right there and the water is all the way in the kitchen.) I'm feeling bad about missing work, feeling exhausted, my stomach is still sore, and I'm too hot. I'm basically just feeling very sorry for myself, and even though for once it's not hungover related, it's still essentially my own fault, because I poisoned myself, and then stressed myself out about possibly choking on my own vomit, and looking at a vomit site and . . .

Oh my god, Paula, breathe!!!

And continue to try not to puke! (Although at this stage, that might be the only thing that makes me feel better...)

Do you get sick a lot? Are you a bad patient, like me? Anyone got any ideas how to cure food poisoning pains? Please feel free to share...


  1. Ew, that sounds terrible. I hope you feel better.

    And that sounds like the worst puking position ever invented.

  2. Rate your vomit??? Now I've heard everything! Ohh dear I really hope you feel better. Maybe sometimes food just settles wrong in your stomach or you could have had a stomach bug from something else & this just aggravated it. Be careful today! Feel better! Try some toast then maybe tea, if you keep that down try some crackers!!

  3. "I also found out that in order not to get vomit in your lungs, you should have your head below your hips while spewing. So if you're at the toilet bowl, you should be standing up with your head inside the bowl."
    Now I have one more thing to add to my list of ways I don't want to die. Who knew? - G

  4. Awww, hope you feel better soon. :( Throwing up is the worst thing EVER. *hugs* x

  5. I don't think it is food poisoning m'dear. 3 hours is pretty quick and if it is poisoning you won't be able to stop vomiting because your body will do everything it can to get rid of it, including chucking it out the other end. Only had food poisoning once and it was a BITCH.

    Whatever it is, I hope you feel better soon, totally know what you mean about feeling guilty about ringing in sick!

  6. TMI moment: I actually threw up once standing over a toilet with my head inside the toilet bowl because I didnt think i had the time to kneel down and not projectile all over the bathroom. With that being said, it's a terribly uncomfortable position and I don't recommend it.

    I hope you feel better!!


  7. Hope you feel better soon, being ill is horrible. I know exactly what you mean about the guilt thing; whenever I phone in sick I'm convinced my boss will think I'm lying.

    Take it easy :) xx

  8. And at the risk of sounding uncaring, that's obviously what you get for stealing our weather. Sniff.

  9. It's funny because up until now I've always managed to vomit without killing myself, but from now on paranoia dictates that I'm going to do something horrible by way of puke. So thanks for that, missy. But I'm sorry you're sick and can I just say, having had food poisoning, I would not wish even mild food poisoning on anyone. There's nothing like having stuff try to painfully exit your body from every orifice at once. Really.

    Feel better! People say dry toast is good for ...I don't know, something. Maybe it's hangovers. I don't pay attention enough, clearly. Maybe some Irn Bru?

    No, that IS for hangovers.

  10. yuck, that doesn't sound fun. i hope you feel better! i'm severely vomit-phobic (so i'm really glad you didn't post to the spew site!) so any time i feel nauseous i work myself into such a panic that i swear i panic away the urge to hurl.

  11. I hope you feel better soon.

  12. Aww, you poor thing! I hope you feel better really soon.

    I hate calling in sick too. At one job, they told me to come in anyways. I didn't though because I really was sick.

    I'm not gonna google vomit and I can guarantee you that Rate My Vomit website WON'T be one of my "Blogs of the Week!" lol

  13. Ugh - puking sickness is the WORST! I hope you feel better soon!!

  14. I am completely paranoid about vomiting. So much that I have been seeing someone about it, it actually controls my life and it aint no fun.

  15. Who stands while puking?
    I once vomited in my sleep. Needless to say, I made it out alive. It's scary though.

  16. I could think of nothing worse than a 'rate my vomit' website.
    I don't get spew-y sick very often. I can't remember the exact last time I vomited, but I know I was in primary school, maybe around 10 years old. I'm 26 now so... I've gone most of my life without having a chuck.
    Instead, I just get much more sinister things like Glandular Fever and Bronchitis and Sinusitis repetitively during the year. AND I have a shoddy back problem AND a kidney problem that are both with me for life...

  17. the thought of vomiting alone makes me feel ill. Hope you feel better soon!! Try drinking your drink flat..its supposed to settle the stomach. Kudos to you for still bogging from your death are one dedicated blogger :) xx

  18. "I also found out that in order not to get vomit in your lungs, you should have your head below your hips while spewing."

    All these years, I've been doing it so horribly wrong!

  19. I hope you feel better! FOOD POISONING IS THE WORST!!! The only good part is that it usually lasts less than 24 hrs. I had to deal with it once last year bc of some brown lettuce provided in my salad at a deli. I spent the entire night in the bathroom with Jesse rubbing my back. GROSS!

    I definitely didn't do that head above hips thing?! I couldn't even stand up!

    I'm the same way about missing work. Hate it!

  20. oh God, I hope you feel better! I am the worst patient because I can never keep away from things that only aggravate my condition even more...and I am a BIG pansy when it comes to pain.

  21. If I'm going to be sick I stand up over the toilet bowl! Mostly just cos I felt my aim was better than way and it avoidewd anything getting on my clothes :) I'm definitley doing it on purpose from now on! Also a great cure for an upset tummy like yours: flat coke or pepsi. You don't even have to leave it to go flat. Get a big glass of full-fat coke (almost typed that wrong there!) and put a teaspoon of sugar in it, it'll go flat straight away. Shouldn't taste too different either. Works like a charm!


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