So I've mentioned before that I'm hardly ever sick. I've not been off work sick in about four years. I always feel too guilty to do so, and even make it in on the occasions I'm hungover. Which, let's face it, is fairly often.
Today I've been unable to move from my bed
It started last night. Not long after I ate a meal, which makes me think it is food poisoning. It was a meal I cooked, so I must have done it to myself.
It started off with stomach pain. I lay around with a hot water bottle on it, hoping it would go away. But as midnight slipped into the early hours and I lay down to try and sleep, I immediately discovered another problem.
Lying down made me feel like I was going to be sick.
I can't remember the last time I vomited and it wasn't due to too much alcohol. Seriously.
I spent some time hanging out on the bathroom floor next to the toilet bowl but nothing was happening. I took a basin back to bed with me and lay back down. Within a couple of minutes I wanted to puke again but nothing doing.
I was bored and ill all at once and it was the middle of the night. So I started googling vomiting, doesn't that make sense? No? I just really wanted to know if there was a time limit on how long it could take between the initial urge to be sick and the actual act of vomiting.
I found out that there is a rate my vomit website. Seriously, WTF? (I'm not even linking to it, if you are sick enough (no pun intended) to want to view other people's spew, just google "vomit" and its the second link.)
I also found out that in order not to get vomit in your lungs, you should have your head below your hips while spewing. So if you're at the toilet bowl, you should be standing up with your head inside the bowl.
WHO DOES THAT???
Of course, then I started to panic thinking if I DID puke, I was going to do it wrong and end up choking on it or something, and that stopped me even MORE from wanting to sleep, and at the same time the pain in my stomach was getting worse, and it was now 5.30 am and I still hadn't gotten to sleep and I STILL hadn't vomited . . .
Eventually I fell into an anxious sleep, clutching the basin to me just in case.
I fully intended on still going to work but at 8.30am, which is make or break time (I allow myself 90 minutes to get up, ready and into work, and 10am is the latest I can be there), I tried to get out of bed and realised that there was no way I would be able to function with the stomach pain and lack of sleep. So I waited until I knew my manager would be in and phoned in sick.
I HATE phoning in sick because 1) I feel guilty, especially because there is so much work to do and 2) I feel like the person you are speaking to on the phone thinks you're lying. And even though I'm genuinely not well, I feel like I'm over-explaining things, y'know?
Anyway, now I'm lying here in bed, wide awake (I wasn't able to get back to sleep) and all I have inside me is a tiny bit of diet Pepsi and two Anadin painkillers. (I know water would have been better but the diet Pepsi was right there and the water is all the way in the kitchen.) I'm feeling bad about missing work, feeling exhausted, my stomach is still sore, and I'm too hot. I'm basically just feeling very sorry for myself, and even though for once it's not hungover related, it's still essentially my own fault, because I poisoned myself, and then stressed myself out about possibly choking on my own vomit, and looking at a vomit site and . . .
Oh my god, Paula, breathe!!!
And continue to try not to puke! (Although at this stage, that might be the only thing that makes me feel better...)
Do you get sick a lot? Are you a bad patient, like me? Anyone got any ideas how to cure food poisoning pains? Please feel free to share...