To all the rude people out there . . .
Here's a lesson for you. Manners cost nothing. Seriously. If you have seen me virtually everyday for the past four and a half years and you walk past me, don't growl at me if I have the ABSOLUTE NERVE to smile or say "Hi". I end up feeling as if I've done something bad, like threatened your pet dog or your kid or something. Funnily enough, I am trying to be NICE. You should try it sometime. Seriously. It won't actually KILL you. (Well, not most of you anyway . . .)
To Aunty Rose . . .
I guess you read my rant about you last month. Is that why you have decided to delay turning up this month? Have you invited yourself on holiday with me??? If you embarrass me in my bikini, I will not be a happy bunny. Just so you know!
To my body . . .
Why won't you downsize??? Why am I now a pound heavier than I was at the beginning of last week? Why is it when i give you healthy stuff to eat, you rebel? Please stop it!
To a certain someone who will remain nameless . . .
I hate miserable people who go out of their way to pick on people and try to drag them down to their level. You are a prime example. Oh, and your fake laugh fools no one. I'm very glad I'm not you. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
To "Where in the World" Wednesday . . .
Sorry for abandoning you these last few weeks. I needed a self-imposed break. I need to go more places. I will be back after Zante - promise!
To F . . .
I think you still like me. I still like you. But it's always going to be the wrong time with us. This makes me sad. But I won't dwell on it any longer.
To the holiday company . . .
Please ensure that our tickets are waiting for us at the airport as promised, that the line isn't too long, that the plane isn't delayed and that we stay safe. I have been looking forward to this holiday for so long, and I DESERVE TO ENJOY IT, GODDAMMIT! Glad we have that sorted.
To Zante . . .
Make sure the weather is nice for us. I want a suntan. Thanks.