Monday, 1 March 2010

BARING ALL ABOUT SPRING . . .

So it's March 1st which means that finally FINALLY winter is fading away to make way for spring.

And thank FUCK for that.

I will be so unbelievably glad to see the back of winter. It has seriously been the most horrible winter I remember in my life (weather-wise. In terms of my life, it's been pretty good I reckon.) I mean, it's March now and it's Scotland which means ANYTHING could happen between now and April - there could be a snow storm, or I could get sunburnt; both of which have happened at the same time in March depending on the year - but the important thing is that the WORST of the winter weather should HOPEFULLY be gone.

This is something I welcome wholeheartedly for various reasons.

For one thing, I'll soon no longer need to worry about slipping on ice in front of other humans and making a fool of myself (That being said, it WAS icy this morning. Typical.)

I'll no longer leave the flat in the morning after forgetting to look out the window to check the weather and discover I'm not wrapped up enough for the blizzard that started during the night.

No longer will I get funny looks for teaming my ballet pumps with bare feet. (I dislike wearing socks.)

AND I won't be going into the office when it's dark and leaving the office when it's dark - therefore I will know what daylight looks like again. Yay - I can prove I'm not a vampire . . . y'know, in case anyone was worried about that. (Although vampires ARE very "in" right now.)

(I'm sorry, I'm in a strange mood tonight...)

But here is the best thing about the weather improving . . .

Getting dressed in the morning will be SOOOO MUCH EASIER.

I HATE getting dressed in the winter. I'm always too cold to actually shed my pyjamas completely before I put on my day's outfit, so I end up in a struggle that an escapologist would be in admiration of as I try to put ON my clothes before I remove my pyjamas.

Yup, even HARRY HOUDINI would struggle with this feat.

My lack of double-jointedness doesn't make this endeavour easy. Neither does the fact that my clothes conspire against me.

You think I'm being paranoid?

Oh no.

I bet I'm not the only one.


Let me give you my theory . . .


You think it's just "an accident" that the neckline of your top slides down to reveal half of your bra when you're not looking? And if you've ever, like me, accidentally found yourself flashing a nip . . . it's because your top has CONSPIRED WITH YOUR BRA for this to happen.

Fly undone? YOU DIDN'T DO IT. THE FLY DID IT ALL BY ITSELF.

Did you get toothpaste on your clothes right before you were about to leave the house one morning? It wasn't anything to do with you. (THE TOOTHPASTE IS ON IT TOO, GODDAMMIT!)

Did the buttons burst open on your shirt? Or you bent over and your trousers ripped at the arse?

It's all the clothes' doing. NOT YOURS.


So is it any wonder that when I am struggling to put a top on without taking off my dressing gown, that my top MYSTERIOUSLY ends up back to front or inside out and I don't realise it until I've let the dressing gown drop on the floor and so I end up freezing as I try to quickly remedy the error?

Oh no. THE TOP DID IT ALL BY ITSELF.

It wanted me to be cold.

When the weather gets warmer . . . at least the clothes can't beat me anymore.

Suck on THAT, Houdini.


What is your favourite thing about winter coming to an end? Or have you experienced some embarrassing wardrobe malfunction recently? Feel free to share your thoughts . . .



(And, once again, I apologise for my weird mood)

25 comments:

  1. I slipped and fell outside a guys house I liked on Friday night & then I accidentally drove into a snow bank in front of his house too. I don't think I'm going to forget the "Omg this girl is an absolute tool" look he gave me out of my head for a while. I hear ya on the bitchiness of winter. I am soooooo ready for spring. I agree I do think clothes are secretly out to get us too. Those wrap dresses never fall on me right so yea my bra is usually showing at some point during the day. Ohhh Spring, I wish it'll come over here. If it comes here faster than the where you are I'll make sure to kick it over to you too!!!

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  2. I never wear socks with my flats, and this always earns me odd looks from my co-workers and a few lectures when there are snow flurries out.

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  3. having a social life that is unrestricted by icy roads and my 2wd car.

    everything not being all brown and dead anymore.

    my walk in closet not being more of a walk in cooler in the mornings.

    all that said, we're supposed to get somewhere between 2-6" of snow tomorrow. *SIGH*

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  4. not having to go out like a michelin man is always good news! oh and COLOUR, wearing dark winter colors to work the whole time is depressing, ive decided im not doing that next winter, they can all be miserable in the greys and blacks an im going to parade around in big bold winter colours lol.

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  5. That's funny because it's been an incredibly MILD winter over here in Canada! It's felt like spring for a good month now! Haha.

    Enjoy the nicer weather!

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  6. I'm not sure whether I'm happier about the fact that I'm now walking to and from the bus in the daylight every day, or the idea of not having to wear loads of layers of clothes. Summer clothes rock :)

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  7. Well, being in Australia, i am so excited for Winter! I have had enough of Summer, so this turns out to be a good swap!

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  8. I am SO glad to see the back of winter...especially the end of dark mornings and darker evenings :-)

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  9. I get really depressed during winter, lack of sunshine. Just happy green grass and lots of sunshine.

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  10. I just want to let you know that you suck - for reminding me that winter is ON ITS WAY here in Oz! granted its absolutely nothing like yours, nowhere near as cold, but i dislike it all the same.

    So poo to you P for reminding me that my beautiful Aussie summer has come to an end! ;p

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  11. I think everyone has had some crazy weird winter weather this year... makes ya wonder a little bit what the heck is going on...
    My favorite thing about the back side of winter is all this snow melting! I'm not happy about the slushy mess but it's nice to see the sun shining and the snow disappearing! :)

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  12. SOO glad it will OFFICALLY be spring in 19 days! I could not be more excited to see winter leave! It's been such a rough winter for us. Over 80 ft of snow total so far but I wouldn't count out another snow storm just yet. Old man winter just hates Maryland this year.

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  13. Here in NJ we've had a record breaking 80" of snow so far since Dec., and I am OVER IT. I broke up with snow this year; we're through.
    I kinda love it around the holidays...but by mid January, it becomes miserable. By the end of Feb., I'm ready to kill that bitch named Winter.
    There is snow on the ground, but I know spring has to arrive sooner or later.

    Also, I HATE socks. They freak me out. I don't own any. I will wear tights if needed. Never socks.
    Just seeing someone get into bed with socks *shudder* ...socks against sheets, NO!

    Great blog!

    ~lola

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  14. Hmmm...my life is a compendium of malfunctions (including wardrobe ones as well). You may wish to have a look at my blog 'the stupidest things I have done', but I am not here to spruik.
    First wardrobe malfunctions. Honestly the fly on my jeans do have a mind of their own as I discovered last week in a crowded train. Standing up, holding onto a strap, my groin inches from the face of a darling old lady. I kinda sheepishly smiled and said 'Sorry, I can't help it' to which she replied, 'That's ok sweetie, I like the colour of your undies'. Yep one of those crawl up and die moments.
    Winter! Bring it on...As I live in Oz I have had to bear a stinking hot summer so am looking forward very much to rugging up and enjoying the cold brisk winters we have in Melbourne....

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  15. Love your Houdini theroy!

    My favorite part about winter ending is that dating seems a lot easier in the spring for some reason, doesn't it? Everyone is dressed in more date appropriate clothing. The sun gives people a need to be out and meeting one another. And let's not forget that there are some kick ass holidays that happen during Spring and Summer, bringing people together in an alcohol induced love spell.

    Snafugirl xoxo
    http://snafuliving.blogspot.com

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  16. Wow, I can't imagine that! I guess I just focused on how pretty snow is without thinking all the hassles people must go through in winter. I would hate to not be able to put on my clothes without shivering or take my time. Wishing lots of sun shines your way :)

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  17. i hate socks a LOT
    i once walked around (drunkenly) with the strap of my top completely ripped off and hanging...there are pictures...

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  18. Summer is ending here in Sydney town and I am depressed. DEPRESSED I TELLS YOU! I love my summer, and I'm bummed because now? I'm going to cop cold weather right through until November when I come home from my Tour of Europe.
    IT SUCKS.

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  19. Ha that's hilarious! I know exactly what you mean - I was hopping round the bedroom at the weekend and the boyfriend asked what was wrong with me and I was like "I'm just psyching myself up get dressed". I think I've rotated about 3 outfits at work for the past few months just because they were within easy reach!

    The best thing though is that I now wake up and it's light. I find it nigh on impossible to get out of bed if it's still dark. That's just wrong isn't it?

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  20. There are about a million reasons that I want winter to end, and clothing malfunctions are definitely one of them. But most of all? I miss my flip flops.

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  21. I am SO glad that winter is on its way out. I am ready for pretty weather!

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  22. It is supposed to snow again here tonight. And my little flower bulbs have just sprouted and begun to blossom. I am definitely ready for winter to be OVER.

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  23. Scotland must have weather very similar to Minneapolis. I can't wait for spring! It's almost here!!! It's actually 40 degrees out today and bright and sunny! Lovely! The snow is melting! I did fall on my hands and knee last week too. Got myself a nice bruise on my knee. Damn ice.

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  24. Since we got a million feet of snow in DC a few weeks ago, and the city couldn't be bothered to take care of it, there were piles of it everywhere! Last week, I was walking to work, and I slipped on ice and fell! Also, there were about eight people standing around, all of whom saw what happened and nobody offered any help! I didn't need help, but it's still nice to be asked! Ugh!

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  25. I was so over February within a week of it starting... admittedly, March hasn't been that brilliant so far but here's hoping things improve!

    And yes, I do believe that objects or items of clothing conspire against me. Along with my own damn body lol

    x

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