Sunday, 7 February 2010

TMI PAULA . . .

I had an absolute blast in Manchester but I'm too tired to talk about it right now. (Sorry. I know you're all on the edge of your seats waiting to hear.) Suffice to say, I met some really lovely girls and it was great to meet them FINALLY in person.

But the first story I ended up telling them involved me peeing.

(I'm sorry, girls!)

Yesterday morning, I had left plenty of time to get ready, but my plan had been to head out of my flat at 9, despite the fact my train wasn't until 10.10. Instead I got into a flap at the last minute, started double-checking everything was in my bag, and somehow I didn't end up leaving until about 9.20. Which put me in a bit of a flap, as I always like to have lots of time before a train to ensure I'm on the right one, etc. When I got to the subway, I JUST missed a train and of course the next one wasn't due for another eight minutes. I was texting The Pink Jellybaby to tell of my panic because it was now nearly 9.40 - and I had been planning to BE at the station by that point. Eek.

As I finally walked from the subway to Glasgow Central, I realised I needed the toilet. Which was a nuisance but I HATE peeing on public transport so it seemed that a trip to the loo in the station was necessary. This became even MORE necessary when I realised my tights were covered in brown mud. I'd splashed myself with a puddle on the way to the subway station. It was NOT going to be repairable but it was fine. I had two spare pairs with me.

I checked the board and the train didn't have a platform yet, so I hurried downstairs to the loo, shoved my 30p into the slot with panicky fingers and locked myself in a cubicle. As I sat on the loo, I started rooting through my bag for my spare tights, found them and decided to change them while I peed. I pulled off the tights, went to pull on the new pair . . . and realised I HAD LOST MY KNICKERS!

Had I put any ON this morning, I wondered?

Um - yeah. I generally DON'T go commando.

So where were they?

I had a momentary thought that perhaps I'd kicked them out of the loo and they were now in the middle of the floor.

Thankfully they were not.

After a couple of seconds panicking (and still peeing), I realised that they were in fact tangled up in the old pair of tights.

Thank God.

And THAT, dear readers, was basically the first thing I said to the girls.

You're welcome...

14 comments:

  1. This is why I love reading your blog - You always have a hilarious story to tell lol. Glad you found your undies!

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  2. Haha...nothing like the nuisances of public toilets.

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  3. I'm amazed you made it to Manchester and back, unharmed and still clothed! Well done P.

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  4. Public toilets suck! And before putting on fresh clothes I need to bathe else my skin will be itchy...

    Glad to know you made it though! :)

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  5. I hate public bathrooms too, only in case of extreme emergency.

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  6. Oh Paula - you always have the best " I cannot believe that happened! " stories....

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  7. you are so funny!
    I cant wait to hear the stories, I really wish I could have been there

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  8. You crack me up on a daily basis. Thank you! hahaha

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  9. Hehe, what a way to introduce yourself!! X

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  10. Hehe, honest from the start huh? ;)

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  11. It was endearing, honestly! xx

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  12. Wait wait wait...are you saying that you have to pay to use public toilets? I can officially never cross the pond! When it comes to travel (rail, plane, whatever) I always like to pee a few times before boarding said mode of transportation. I'd have been broke just traveling back and forth b/w NYC and Connecticut, sheesh.

    Hm, wow, got a little TMI on my own there, didn't I?

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  13. Too funny! At least you remembered to take your knickers off prior to peeing. For some reason when I wear tights (which isn't often) I sometimes ALMOST forget to pull my knickers down prior to peeing! I have no idea why. But thankfully I've always caught myself just in the knick of time. :)

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  14. Public toilets are the worst. I feel like they are out to get us.

    Also I want to start saying things like knickers, loo and flap. But Americans can't really pull it off.

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