Tuesday, 12 January 2010
THE OBLIGATORY HAPPY-TO-BE-SINGLE POST I DO EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE TO PROVE I'M HAPPY TO BE SINGLE...
So over the weekend, I was reading this book called "It's Not Me, It's You" - it is essentially a self help book about dealing with break-ups, but rather than spouting lots of self-visualisation crap and so on, it actually is a fairly matter-of-fact font of advice with humorous accounts of loads of people who have been dumped. There was some ridiculous stories in there. I think it's meant to make people realise that they're not the only ones who have been there.
By the way, I know it's been quite a few months since I've been dumped but it looked like an amusing book.
And I'm sure NEXT time I'm dumped it will come in handy.
That sounds very defeatist of me, doesn't it? But in most of my relationships I have been the dumpee. It was only my very first relationship where I got to do the dumping. I'm not sure why this is. I can't explain the way the minds of the guys I've been involved with work.
(If I could I would probably be far more successful with guys.)
Let's consider the evidence . . .
There was the guy who decided to stop coming to work and then just never called again, finally getting one of his friends to tell me it was over. The guy who told me he loved me and then within a couple of months dumped me because he wanted to be on his own - he was with someone else within a few months (and still IS with her, as far as I know.) The guy who told me he just didn't want a relationship (recurring theme?) and was on match.com within a matter of days, as far as I can see (and when I confronted him about it, told me he was just looking for friends!). F, who arranged a date with me one night then didn't contact me for a week, finally texting to say I was looking for too much from him and he couldn't commit (considering we had been on nine dates in six months, I don't think I was looking for too much!). Then the guy from the Hallowe'en party who went on one date with me then headed straight back to the ex.
Great track record, huh?
I've said before that I do feel that I am better off single. I'll say it again. I like my own company. I like having freedom to do what I want to do. I can't really imagine ever living with a guy.
Reading that book too . . . well, it re-confirmed that for me. I read stories of girls that thought everything was fine one minute and then the next . . . it was over. No explanation. No apology, Just - The End. I was appalled at some of the accounts I read. It made me wonder if I could ever trust ANYONE again. Especially when I look back at my own experience.
I've spent most of my life single. I've spent three out of thirty years in relationships and, looking back at that time, I wouldn't say any of them were particularly GOOD relationships.
Maybe 2010 will be my year. Maybe my soulmate will miraculously appear. Maybe not.
I like to think I will eventually meet someone that is worthy. I actually think I have a lot to offer a guy. But I don't really want to waste my time in that eternal cycle of getting involved with someone, getting attached, getting dumped and then having to spend time getting over it. It's just too emotionally exhausting!
So . . . that's it really. I just felt like getting all that off my chest. In the meantime, here's to being a happy, healthy singleton!
What about you guys? Single? Attached? Happy? Unhappy?
I'd love to know . . . :)