Saturday, 16 January 2010

GIRLS WHO GIRLS LIKE, GIRLS WHO GIRLS HATE . . .

This afternoon, me and three of my male colleagues were involved in an incredibly banal but unbelievably crucial task for work. As we sat cross-legged on the floor in the middle of the office, surrounded by piles of paperwork, conversation turned to films. And then Angelina Jolie was mentioned . . .

The sharp exhaled sigh of disgust from me had the dudes turning to me in interest.

"Not a fan then?" one of them asked me in amusement.

Um . . . understatement of the CENTURY. I have been firmly in the Team Aniston camp for a long time now. If Angelina existed in my own life, I wouldn't trust the girl as far as I could throw her. Jennifer Aniston, on the other hand, would be my friend. (What do you mean "what if she doesn't WANT to be your friend?" She just WOULD, okay? For one thing standing next to me she can look even thinner and her hair will look even glossier and beautiful in comparison. It's okay - I'm not bitter; she has a bigger chin than me. AND she's ten years older than me. Ha.) When Jennifer is featured in magazines looking depressed, or having dropped tons of weight, I want to give her a hug. On the other hand, when magazines talk about Angelina losing so much weight she is under 100 pounds I wonder would she smash if I drop-kicked her, and imagine her as a pouty pile of bones.

(Yes, I'm evil.)

So I agreed that indeed, I was not a fan. And in answer to his next question, yes, why I DO like Jennifer Aniston. He asked why. I explained it was female solidarity and all that - Angelina steals men (let's face it, Brad wasn't the first one she stole!) and Jennifer has nice hai . . . I mean, seems like a nicer person.

My colleague then decided to try and guess what female celebrities I liked and did not like, based on his opinion that there are certain celebrities that pretty much ALL girls like, and celebrities that girls generally universally hate!

I felt he did have a bit of a point, so I agreed to play along. Plus it made being stuck in the office until four pm a TAD easier...

So how did he do?

Let's find out...

SCARLETT JOHANSEN
His guess: Hate. "Most girls do."
Answer: Correct. I'd like to punch her. I've made no secret of this fact.
My other colleagues' reactions: Paula's jealous!!! (Only of the fact she took my soulmate, Ryan Reynolds, away from me, 'kay???)

CATHERINE ZETA JONES
His guess: Hate
Answer: Wrong. With the exception of her dodgy taste in men (Old Man Douglas, John Leslie etc), I have nothing against her.
My other colleagues' reactions: Michael Douglas is a lucky (OLD) man...

JESSICA ALBA
His guess: It could go either way
Answer: Well THAT was a cop-out. But for the record, I LIKE Jessica Alba. Mainly just because I loved her in "Dark Angel".
Other reactions: She can't act. (MY reaction to that comment: Does that MATTER when she looks that damn hot???)

MEGAN FOX
His guess: Hates
Answer: Damn right I do. "She just is unbelievably conceited and that's why I don't like her," I explained.
Other reactions: She can't act. (I wasn't even going to stick up for this one so i kept schtum.)

JORDAN (page 3 model, "author", slutbag whoreface)
His guess: Hates
Answer: Spot on. (Didn't you guess that from my description of who she is? No???)
(I can't remember if there was any other reactions to that one.)

JENNIFER GARNER
His guess: Likes "Every girl likes her".
His answer: Of course I like her. What's not to like? Despite the fact she broke Michael Vartan's heart, I bet she did it in a nicer way than most people would. Plus she can kick ass!
Other reactions: Who??? (MY reaction to that comment: Are you KIDDING???)

CHERYL COLE ("Girls Aloud"/X-Factor judge/WAG)
His guess: Hate
His answer: Was wrong. I don't mind her. I USED to hate her. Now I think she's okay.
Other reactions: She's a CHAV! (True. But a good looking one.)

So I guess he did well - but then perhaps I'm just too predictable?

I want to point out though that in none of these cases is my hatred motivated by jealousy. I'm fully prepared to admit when a girl is attractive. And I wouldn't be jealous of someone JUST for being attractive. At least not in a SPITEFUL way.

I don't think guys get that sometimes it's not jealousy of a pretty woman that makes us hate them; it's just the fact that they seem like an utter tosspot.

(There's a lesson for you, guys!)

Anyway, here's today's "assignment".

GIRLS - in your opinion, which female celebrities are universally loved by other females, and which are hated?
GUYS - in your opinion, which female celebrities are universally loved by other females, and which are hated?

Oh . . . that was the same question. Oops.

But I'm interested to see how much the answers match up...

24 comments:

  1. Perfect theories, Paula. I definitely don't like Megan Fox, Angelina Jolie ( I'm in Aniston Team as well! ), and Scarlett Jo! Other celebs girls just generally hate : Victoria Beckham, Paris Hilton, hmm probably Jessica Simpson?

    However, I ( and a lot of girls I know ) love Alexis Bledel, Zooey Deschanel,that girl Ashley Green from Twilight saga. They're really pretty as well, but I guess the celebs that we hate are classified into a bit of "slutty" areas. Or at least we can see them as sluts while these three girls are just borderline sweethearts.

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  2. Ok, well I hate Kelly Pickler, also Scarlett Jo, the Kardashians, Nicole Kidman, Taylor Swift.

    On the other hand I like, Kelly Clarkson, Rene Zelweger, Hilary Swank, Ginnefer Goodwin and Drew Barrymore.

    Don't know how that works with your theory, but there you have it.
    Happy Friday.

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  3. Love Julia Roberts, despite her perfection. She has a smile that lights up a room and just seems so sweet. Is she next-doorsy to you or is it just me? I can't tell if I'm in the minority here.

    BTW, you were spot ON with your assessments!

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  4. Ok - i'm thinking every woman likes Drew Barrymore and Natalie Portman. Drew because she just seems so kooky and like she'd make such a fun friend, and Natalie because she's unbelievably pretty but never boasts about it.

    On the hate list ? Paris Hilton, Megan Fox and for me personally, Jennifer Lopez. They all just come across as either: slutty, talentless or insanely in love with themselves ( or all three ! )

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  5. I'm in a class full of men and I'm in the same boat as you, they couldn't believe I hated her. She's like an icon of hatred though. Most women don't tend to be keen on men-stealers.

    And Megan Fox. Ugh. She can't act and she looks like a younger Angelina.

    And on that point, ever noticed how unattractive Angelina is? I think she looks like a lizard. So does my man. Yep. It doesn't happen often that you find a straight guy that thinks this way so I will marry him. :)

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  6. I like Drew Barrymore, Kate Hudson, Jennifer Aniston, Zooey Deschanel, Keri Russell, Anne Hathoway... I also actually really like Lauren Graham and Alyson Hannigan.

    I HATE Angelina. I don't think there's ANYONE I hate as much as her. I think she IS actually Lucifer..

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  7. I couldn't care less about hating actors etc but I prefer watching a Jolie movie to an Aniston one any day of the week because at least she can act

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  8. Thank you SO MUCH for putting "author" for Jordan.

    As for love/hate, I don't know! I don't really pay attention to that!

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  9. I really can't stand Angelina (have disliked her from the "Hackers" days but the Brad thing was unforgiveable!)

    I like funny girls...Julia Roberts, Rene Zellweger and Cameron Diaz.

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  10. Girls don't like girls who seem to exist only for the benefit of men... Angelina,Megan Fox et al fall firmly into this category. I however think Megan Fox is pretty cool - dumb as feck but gives good quote...

    "I come across as confident and [women] assume that means that I think I'm hot shit. And that makes them feel bad about themselves and so they hate me."

    "I go to the set thinking I'm not going to have any female friends, because that's the reality of the business. From what I've experienced, women aren't good friends to one another. When guys want to hang out with you because your personality is badass, women immediately hate you."

    There are lots more here...funny! http://jezebel.com/5285875/megan-foxs-50-best--worst-bon-mots

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  11. I think generally it's really slutty, overly sexual brain-dead girls who have no real talent other than pouting and going out wearing next to nothing that girls like to hate eg Jordan, Paris Hilton. Megan Fox may be a fox but she seems like she'd be a right stuck up cow so she is on my 'would probably hate but would win my brownie points with my male friends' list

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  12. Jolie. Not for me. I can't see what the fuss is about tbh. Not my type, never was and never will be.

    Aniston I do like.

    Scarlett I don't. Don't like her face.

    Catherine Zeta Jones: The BEST welsh export. Ever.

    Jessica Alba... Meh...

    Megan Fox. Just ew tbh.

    Jordan. Turns me totally off.

    Jennifer, she's okay. Not really my type.

    Cheryl Cole. FIT. But... totally spoils it when she opens her mouth.

    And yeah... That's my view.

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  13. This post is awesome...

    Okay...

    LIKE: definitely Jennifer Garner (she's the girl next door, beautiful kids, great hubby and looks amazing without makeup... seems like we'd be best friends if we met), Amy Adams (just too sweet to hate), Jennifer Aniston (for every reason you said), Julia Roberts (all about her family, and who doesn't love her in Pretty Woman), Kate Winslet (ever since Titanic...), Reese Witherspoon (seems too adorable and funny and peppy not to love)

    HATE: Angie (ugh), Scarlett (yes, a big fat punch to the face), Megan (so right), Katie Holmes (the whole Tom, scientology thing is weird), Kristen Stewart (can't act at all AND she is taking up time with MY Robert Pattinson)

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  14. Boy do we ever have different taste in women!

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  15. Love.... Meg Ryan

    Hate... Beyonce (so over-rated)

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  16. i hate scarlett johanson

    i love jennifer garner

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  17. this is fucking hysterical. I agree with every one of these. I'm with you on punching people too. often.

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  18. i think most girls love charlize theron and rachel mcadams ( dont care for the first one but love the second one)

    and hate...kim kardashian (and all the kardashian sisters)

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  19. Ok, i might be totally making this up but I thought I heard somewhere that Jennifer Anistons chin is longer than average because she had an implant put in the make her cheecks look less round? Either way, I love her!

    Other favorite celebs for me....

    Ellen Page (Juno was AWESOME)
    Charlize Theron
    Meg Ryan

    and I can't help it but I really like Taylor Swift.

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  20. Hmmm. . this is an area where you and I disagree.
    I cannot for the life of me stand Jennifer Aniston, on the other hand I love Jolie.
    Fell for her when I saw firefox years ago. I just dig her.

    A girl I think all women like is Natalie Portman, I love her.
    Rachel Weitz(?) as well.
    Of course Christina Applegate, I think a lot of women like her and find her funny.
    Not Cameron Diaz though.

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  21. Chele don't worry - this is something P and I don't see eye to eye over either. Hasn't ruined our friendship at all :P

    And I love Drew Barrymore - I have a huge amount of respect for her just for surviving everything that went on re: 'childhood stardom'.
    I don't have much time for folk like Megan Fox, Paris Hilton, Jordan... etc. The attention-seeking hoors, basically I dislike.

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  22. I hate Madonna. Is that allowed?

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  23. Wow. I agree with all of your opinions! I love Aniston,and Garner hate Jolie, ScarJo, and Megan Fox.
    Another one that I love is Julia Roberts.
    This was funny...smashing Jolie into a pile of bones...perfect.

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  24. Hmmm... I agree with most of these. I also really like Kate Hudson. I'd say she's probably one of my favorites. I can't think of many that I really dislike - aside from Megan Fox and Angie, of course.

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