Sunday, 27 September 2009


I have a bit of a dislike for iPhones.

I know you're meant to be able to back up your opinion with a wise, well thought out, balanced argument as to WHY you like or dislike something. But I can't really be bothered. Because I can't quite put my finger on it. I guess it's something to do with the fact that everyone seems to own one, or be talking about how they are going to GET one. When everyone starts doing something, it's my natural reaction to avoid it like the plague.

Plus I kinda like my Blackberry now.

Anyway, I guess it isn't so much the product ITSELF I dislike. It's the bloody stupid TV advert for the applications that REALLY does my head in. "Whatever you want, there's an app for that." Blah blah blah BLAH BLAH. I don't CARE!!!!

But it got me wondering what kind of aps would come in handy for me . . .

  • "Are you out drinking and wondering how many more glasses of rose wine you can imbibe before you pass out? There's an app for that."
  • "If you've managed to inadvertently piss off another girl on the dancefloor on a night out and are trying to work out how to make peace before she punches you . . . there's an app for that too!"
  • "If you're completely hungover and unable to get out of bed and need someone to deliver you a roll & sausage & potato scone along with some hangover-reducing full fat Coca Cola . . . guess what? There's an app for that too! (Although it will involve a complete stranger walking into your bedroom. Oh well, as long as he's sexy...)"
  • "Always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time? Wish there was a switch in your brain that would STOP you from doing so? There's an app for that."
  • "Want to kill some random person on the street who just WON'T GET OUT OF YOUR WAY??? Unbelievably . . . there's an app for that also!!!"
So Apple . . . if you want MY custom . . . then maybe you should start looking into these Paula-specific apps. You have about a year to get it sorted though - my contract on my current phone won't run out until then.

Speaking of which, is there an app where I can submit my suggestions for apps???


  1. Ha!

    I actually like iPhones, but I'm pretty attached to my Berry. It can definitely do things the iPhone can't (and vice versa), but it works for me!

  2. Oh, my gosh, I am just starting to learn my Blackberry and now you are telling me there is a new phone that I should be wanting??? I can't keep up with it all!!!

  3. If you don't like it why don't you try the app for people who don't like apps. I'm sure it's brilliant.

  4. I'd like to have an iPhone because I love all things Mac, BUT I was going through the prices and it's INSANE. People here are taking advantage of the fact it's a trend and the cheapest plan with an iPhone is like 50 euros a month! And with the BB, they start at 22 euros!

    Guess which one I'm getting.

  5. It seems that according to Apple you can now carry out your entire life from your armchair. There's an app for that.

  6. If Iphones had your apps I'd have one in my hand right now.

  7. Haha. Clever. I wonder what my apps would be...

  8. I've got to admit, I truly love my iPhone. I used to be one of those people who was like: "I just want a phone to make calls! I don't even want a camera on it!" -- basically a slightly better connected Mennonite. Then my Apple-fanatic dad gave me one against my wishes last Christmas, and I can't even remember life pre-iPhone.

    Also, in re: custom apps that don't exist but really should, my computer programmer (now-ex-)boyfriend always promised to make me one I really wanted: a Passive Aggressive Timer. Most useful for when you're standing behind an annoyingly, inconsiderately indecisive person in line.

    When you press the button, it would begin with an "AHEM!" then periodically tell you how many seconds had elapsed. "Thirty seconds have elapsed." "Seriously, do you realize it has been a full minute?" "What have you been doing for the last two and a half minutes?!"

    I feel like that's anti-social enough to fit in perfectly with a few of your proposed apps! ;-)

  9. Bwahahaha, great apps!
    Btw, I will still make my vlog and we will have all I planned to see who won :D

  10. Do you wish your kitten would stop puring in your ear at 4 am? There is an app for that.

    Do you wish you knew your ex best mate was going to the party now you arent friends on facebook anymore. There is an app for that.

    Seriously, im tempted now its coming to orange, but then i love gadgets. I'm slowly getting over my hatred of all things Apple and wanky!

  11. LOL I love the first and third application, I would like a sexy stranger bringing me pizza and caramel latte when I'm that drunk :)

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