Sunday, 13 September 2009


You break up with someone, what do you do? Remove them as a friend from every area of your lives, be it your social life, or social networking life?

Or do you show them how much you DON'T care by using social networking to your advantage? Even if you DO care. Too much.

Happy happy status updates, not overdoing it obviously (there's a point where you cross the line from being "happy" to just "unstably mental") - making sure people are uploading pictures of you quite patently having fun, so that it's quite obvious to your former Other Half that you are coping just fine - not mentioning the break-up at all, or how sad you are by it - getting your friends grafiti your wall with comments about pulling other guys so he realises you've moved on.

(Worrying that he will be so convinced you HAVE moved on that even if he DOES change his mind, he won't think he has a chance anymore . . .)

Acting blase if he comments on your status update. Clicking "like" on his own status update, even if you aren't completely sure you DO like it, cos how come HE can act normal when you feel like crap. Even sending him a private message (since you don't text him anymore since you deleted his number to stop the drunken texts begging him to reconsider) to wish him good luck with his next run of the play.

(Forcing yourself not to reply when he actually responds to it. Although constantly THINKING about what you COULD say to appear even MORE unbothered.)

Wondering why he's sent you about ten gifts in a week in Mafia Wars. Is it a guilt thing? An apology? Or is it just that he is so sick of getting requests, he just clicks yes to send you something and stop the messages appearing.

(Wondering why he's STOPPED sending you gifts. Perhaps because he's ran out?)

Wishing he didn't sound like he was happy. Wondering if he is putting on the self-same act, but knowing deep down that is just wishful thinking.

Reading too much into everything. But unable to stop it.

People will probably tell you to remove him as a friend. Sever all contact.

You're not ready to do that yet.

Soon . . . Perhaps.


  1. Blah. I'm so sorry, hon. That game doesn't sound fun at all. :-(

  2. Oh I hear you, I played that game for about 2 weeks post breakup before finally deleting, but more for my own sanity of not eyeballing and questioning the status updates and what they meant, etc.

    But to each their own and I think you're dealing well. And the fact that you're facebook pics are smoking hot can't hurt ;)

  3. Thats gotta be tough. Its bad enough when its only a friend that your having a fued with, let alone someone you've been intimate with. I say give yourself a few more days and see which direction to go in then....

  4. Hiya,

    Thanks for the comment - a chick-lit recommendation would be great. Sorry you're having such a shitty time just now. I think you should delete him. It might seem a bit harsh, but I think it would help you to move on. x

  5. I am all about posting the, "I'm having so much fun without you and look how great I look" pics.

    I'm down with the "I'm going to show you how great I am before I delete you" strategy. Its the exact method of attack I would employ.

  6. I wholeheartedly back the posting of 'I'm hot and having fun' photos... and the wall grafitti - genius!

    Ultimately though I say delete, for reasons I've already explained to you.

    (And I shall text or email re: dinner this week... :-) It's a lovely idea and I haven't seen you in, god... over a week?)


  7. Goodness, in my time we only had to worry about 'running' into the person and the awkward meeting. I feel for you! The post really made me think about how much you guys are in constant contact via the Internet now and I guess in the end if your not really going to be in the same circles you will probably want to delete but when you are ready, no reason to rush.

  8. Drunk texting an ex is THE worst. Esp. when they text back saying "you're drunk..go away". Eventually the pain will go away. ex was 3 years ago and there is still that little twinkle that overcomes me once and awhile. Keep your head up!!

  9. you know what you have to do.

    do it.

  10. I completely know what you are going through. I feel like I am in the exact same position as well, in many ways, with Mr J.. trying not to care, but still caring way too much.

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