Tuesday, 4 August 2009

MAJORCA MAYHEM . . .

What I believe was the sailing club at Palmanova (my Spanish is so basic, its English). I also don't think this is where we could have got a boat from. Shame - because it was very handy for us . . .


I think we all know that things rarely go completely to plan - whether the plan is best or worst laid. This always seems to be the case when it comes to holidays too. I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing. It's just I guess with holidays you have even LESS control over your plans. Don't know what I mean? You'll understand in a minute, when I present to you "My Holiday in a Nutshell" . . .

One of the beaches at Palmanova - lovely (apart from the sand!)

And another view of it . . .




ORIGINAL PLAN: We have a nice leisurely taxi journey to the airport, arriving in plenty of time for check-in.
IN REALITY:
The taxi driver gets us there on time, but tries to kill us.

Okay, I'm exaggerating a little. But he DID take a slip road waaaayyyyy too fast, lost control of the car and swerved into the side of the road. I got thrown against the door in the process and banged my elbow up pretty bad. We spent most of the rest of last Sunday discussing how we nearly could have died, especially as my sister said she was convinced he was drunk. Oh dear . . .

ORIGINAL PLAN:
After clearing check-in, security, passport control and all that shite, we head to the pub where we fill our empty bellies with chilli nachos (the Brunch of Champions), and enjoy a bottle of rose before proceeding to our departure gate. We will board the plane and leave at the expected time, arriving in Majorca at six pm Spanish time, at our apartment in Palmanova around about an hour later, and be unpacked and ready to head out for dinner and some drinks by about nine pm latest.
IN REALITY . . .
The plane is delayed. By eight hours. Thus fucking up all our plans. We end up mildly sozzled before 3pm, due to not having anything to do other than drink. We then have to STOP drinking, since we don't want to be so drunk we don't get let on the flight. We didn't get any information at all until about seven pm (bearing in mind the plane's scheduled departure time was one fifty five pm that afternoon) at which point we are told our plane is completely fucked and we're waiting for a plane to come back from Alicante. The plane which left Glasgow about an hour after we were meant to depart. It's all okay though. I mean, we got a complimentary drink on the flight. Of course, that made it all better. That made up for the lack of information from the airline. That made up for the fact that we didn't get to our apartment until after 3pm the following morning. (I am, of course, being sarcastic. Which means you know I MUST have been pissed off because usually a free drink would appease me at least a little!) I didn't end up properly unpacking the whole trip because I'm not used to not unpacking the second I get there. (Okay, so for once I had an excuse for being a lazy fecker. I suppose I can thank the airline for that at least . . . ) On the upside, at least the apartment was nice.


The balcony (we had TWO actually - this was the better one) in our apartment


ORIGINAL PLAN:
Daytime activities would involve plenty of sunbathing and dips in the sea, as well as a trip to the waterpark in Magaluf and perhaps a boat trip (we like to be near water as much as possible since we believe that helps our tan come along quicker).
IN REALITY:
It was too hot to stay outside for long periods of time, we got annoyed because the sand on the beach kept sticking to us (I was permanently covered in sand the whole week - seriously), we didn't have the energy to even work out how to GET to the waterpark (or work out where the boats left from). Do you know how hot it was? The pages started falling out of our books!!! We couldn't understand why at first, it had never happened before; it appears the glue was melting in the heat!!! That being said, I did love the beaches. They were so pretty. I just wish sand wasn't so damn annoying! My sister thought she had become the Sandmonster, and I feared it was infectious . . .

The Sandmonster herself, in disguise . . .


Align Centre
This is the most activity I could manage, due to the heat!!!


THE ORIGINAL PLAN:

At nighttime we would get ready and head out for dinner and some drinks, before possibly heading onto a pub. Nothing too heavy though.
IN REALITY . . .
I bet you thought I was about to say we kept having heavy nights out and crawling home at eight in the morning??? Nope! We went the opposite way really. The problem was, we had found this supermarket that sold rose fizzy wine for less than two euros. And it was really nice. How could we resist drinking that over a bottle of wine which cost five times as much in a restaurant??? (Especially since we're convinced the restaurant we were in the last night served us that very same wine we had been enjoying all week!) We'd end up mildly inebriated before we left the apartment, get pissed off in the restaurant because after we'd eaten we tended to have to wait about half an hour to even ASK for the bill, and then end up back in the apartment drinking our spare bottle of rose we'd bought earlier along with a few Malibus and Pineapple Juice, and watching MTV Germany.

Oh, and one memorable night we ended up drunk and playing in the swing park. According to my sister, I got stuck halfway down the slide. Okay, it can't have been that memorable as I don't really remember that bit . . .


Ever so slightly sozzled??? Moi? Surely not???


I make it sound like I didn't have a great holiday. It's more for entertainment value than anything else. Despite the hitches and glitches that occurred along the way, I had a great time. It's the first time me and my sister have ever been away alone together as well and since we haven't lived together for six plus years now, it was good to get some time with her. Apart from the overhanging cloud of the terrorist attack and the memorable night that we found a lizard in our apartment and sort of - er - inadvertently killed it, it was a great holiday.

I am very sad to be back. The weather has been . . . how shall I put it . . . utter SHITE here. Suddenly I wish I was sweating to death once again . . .

On a slightly related note, I just realised I never posted my second lot of Rhodes photos. I will try and remedy that in the next week or so. It's quite time consuming doing a post with photos in it though. This has taken me nearly an hour.

Or possibly that's just cos my laptop is crap . . .


PS. On another slightly related note (since it is travel-related), if you fancy helping a fellow blogger get the chance to go to Oz, pop on by Elle's blog for more info. There might be a chance for you to go too...

9 comments:

  1. Paula, it sounds to me like you need to go to the French Alps or something for your next holiday.
    No heat, no sand and potentially to cold to even think of heading out for dinner. Perfect, yes ?

    Or, on a more serious note - why not hit a city ? If i lived in Europe each hoiliday would be spend exploring a new city - Barcelona, Rome, Milan, Dubrovnik.... damn Australia being so isolated!

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  2. The thing is, I LOVE hot weather and love sunbathing. I've just never (with the exception of my long weekend in Barcelona last August) been in a really hot country mid summer. I wasn't quite expecting it to be that warm, haha! Stupid of me! All these years I've been going to the Canary Islands in April or October wishing I could go mid summer and turns out the weather there was far more bearable...

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  3. That seems so so awesome! Ah, my brother lives in Barcelona and I am hoping to save enough money to go there in January...at least for a week!

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  4. Well, having been there last year, I feel I can contribute with some amusing stories. Will kepe it short.

    Our shared coach from the airport to the 10 hotel stops had such a shoddy driver, that he physically got wedged in a narrow gap between certain doom (a large cliff drop) and a police van. Suffice to say, he took off the mirror of the police van as well as some paintwork.

    And the waterpark ... christ. We walked to one from Palmanova. Yes, walked. In 33 degree heat. "It's not far" they told me. Fuckers. The concrete and brickwork at the park was SO hot, I had to run between shadows to not burn my feet. Which I did anyway. Bah.

    Glad you had some laughs though - that's what holidays are all about when things go wrong. A bit like our hire car in Miami getting flooded ... lol.

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  5. I'm with you on the heat...it's why I've escaped back to the UK for a while and I'm loving the weather!

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  6. two words...oy vey!!!
    lol...and i know ALL about spiralling into vacation separation issues. see: me after coming back from mexico. i was so upset. and literally burst into tears because i just wanted to be back on a beach!!!

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  7. P, that is one heck of an adventurous trip. Near death experience, lizards, sweltering heat, sticky sand, drinking... a success?

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  8. Thrice - Barcelona is amazing, you definitely should go if you can!

    Jack - we considered walking as well but we never managed to work out how to leave Palmanova! (Plus we were at the other end from Magaluf) Sounds like we had a lucky escape!!

    PJB - I was walking home from work tonight and although it was cooler than Majorca, in my office clothes I felt like I was right back there, so guess I'm used to the change in temperature again already!!

    Gemma - I'm missing it big time now. :(

    Andy - I know! At least I have a lot of stories to tell. And a lot of people in real life are now callng me Lizard Killer. Which isn't so good...

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  9. On the brightside, at least it was memorable - a holiday you'll never forget!

    Glad you're back safe, that you had a good time, and that you escaped the "drama" that happened over there. :s

    Thanks for the Oz plug, too! :D

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