During our ten hours or so stuck in airport limbo before travelling to Majorca, I started flicking through a little-known book called "He's Just Not That Into You".* Yeah, yeah, I know, you've never heard of it, right? It's not been completely and utterly overhyped. It's not been made into a film which pretty much contradicted everything it stood for. Oh no, you won't have ever been exposed to that, right?
So the basic premise of the book as it appears to me, since you ask, is that we shouldn't make excuses for guys who haven't called us, or had time to spend with us, or anything like that. If he didn't call us, or make the time for us, he just isn't that into you. Wow. That's truly amazing. I never EVER thought of it that way before. My eyes have been opened.
Right. Seriously? I read it (when I say "read", I mean more "skimmed" but I got the general gist of it.) and my first reaction was utter panic. I felt like someone was reading my mind or had listened to most of the conversations I've had about guys throughout my adult life. I felt like the book title should actually have been prefaced by my name. And perhaps delivered directly to my door on the very day it was published. In fact, screw that, why didn't they send me a proof copy?
It's been on my mind ever since, on and off. And in that time, I have came to the conclusion, that's its a load of utter bollocks.
Okay, perhaps that's a slightly strong sentiment. But I don't think it's entirely true anyway.
I'm sorry, but no one man can speak for all men on the way they react to things, or deal with matters of the heart. I don't believe that for a minute. It would be like me assuming that all girls deal with things exactly the same way I do. Which would be completely ridiculous on my part to do so.
The male author of the book said that guys will go after a girl if they really want them, no matter what the obstacles. Is that really the case? Always? I know guys who are outwardly confident but admit that when it comes to girls they can't make the first move. Similarly, I know guys who are seeing a girl they don't seem to be entirely sure they like, yet see them often, make weekend plans, yet won't admit they're "officially" a couple, despite doing all those things couples do and not seeing anyone else on the side.
In both the book and the movie of the same name, we're told that those stories you hear of the girl who had a twat of a boyfriend who then suddenly changed and became Mr Commitment, and other "urban myths" such as this are not the general rule. They're the EXCEPTIONS to the rule. Yet the movie, after expounding this theory to us once again, turns it on its head and produces not one, but TWO (possibly even three?) exceptions to the rule. So how can we believe anything else about the book?
Fair enough, I believe the book gives us a bit of insight into the male psyche. But I don't think its fair that one guy should speak for all men. I don't think it can be THAT clear cut.
Or perhaps it's just that I don't WANT it to be true . . .
So what do you think about it? Have you read it? Heard enough about it to judge? Watched the film? Any of the above?
Do you think it's completely true, there's some truth there, or is it just a load of rubbish? I'd love to know your thoughts . . .
*I didn't pay for it, just so you know! My sister got it free with "Glamour" magazine.