Tuesday, 23 June 2009

AND THIS IS WHY "24" ISN'T REMOTELY REALISTIC . . .

I'm not a "24" fan.

Yep, I realise I may have alienated some of you, but at least I'm admitting it, right?

I watched, I think, about a season and a half of it before giving up. To be perfectly honest, a day that lasted close to six months was more than a little tiresome - especially since I'd aged much more than the characters had by the end of their "day". The only show I've witnessed where a day has lasted nearly as long was "Sunset Beach" (God rest its glitzy, glamourous soul). And that was great cos it meant I could miss it for two weeks and still know EXACTLY what was going on.

(Just out of interest, was anyone else a massive "Sunset Beach" fan???)

ANYWAY, my pet peeve with "24" (apart from the fact I can't help but pity the actors for having to generally wear the same outfit the whole time) is how MUCH seems to happen in one day. There is absolutely NO WAY so much would happen to a person in the space of 24 short hours. Think about even the first season - which, let's face it, is the only one I am probably equipped to even discuss - and how much happened to Elisha Cuthbert's character that day. And SHE wasn't even the lead character . . .

Look at it this way . . . would a day in YOUR life be that action-packed. I know MINE certainly wouldn't be. Let's break it down . . .

Let's start the show at midnight . . .

MIDNIGHT - ONE AM
Paula is sitting on her bed, looking rather the worse for wear. Oh yes, she is drunk. And sending dirty text messages, more than likely, while cruising facebook looking for some banter. Eventually, about halfway through that episode, after checking her phone about twenty times, she sighs, says out loud "I can't BELIEVE he's passed out on me AGAIN!" and throws the phone to the other side of the bed. Then SHE passes out. Still fully dressed.

ONE AM - THREE AM
The next two episodes are pretty boring. Paula is passed out with the light on. She doesn't even snore or talk in her sleep. (What an entertainer, eh???)

THREE AM - FOUR AM
Midway through the episode, Paula wakes up, looks groggily around her, has an all-too-brief moment of joy when she thinks she has got her sight back, realises she has slept in her contact lenses again and groans. Checks phone. "I can't believe he hasn't text me in the middle of the night," she mutters. Takes out contact lenses, brushes teeth. Thinks about getting changed for bed. Doesn't. Falls back asleep.

FOUR AM - SIX AM
More boring sleeping.

SIX AM - SEVEN AM
Periods of sleeping interspersed with alarms going off and Paula hitting snooze. Then some primping and preening. All VERY exciting.

SEVEN AM - EIGHT AM
The walk to work. There may be some drama in here when pavement rage hits. But its not going to result in any fisticuffs or weapons. Paula hopes . . .

EIGHT AM - TWELVE PM
Work. The joys.

TWELVE PM - ONE PM
Lunchtime. Hopefully some banter. Either that or Paula is going to be doing some online shopping. Does it GET any better???

ONE PM . . .

I think the show has been cancelled. I'm amazed it made it past the pilot episode to be honest but then reality tv is all the rage these days, isn't it?

When I think about what they missed though . . . the search between eight pm and nine pm for my purple top (I'm not even planning to wear it anytime soon, but I want to know where the heck its disappeared to!), or the part just before midnight where I drunkenly decide that dancing around my room to Rihanna's "Umbrella" USING an umbrella as a prop is going to be amusing . . . I mean, come ON, the show was just getting started and was cut off in its prime!

2 comments:

  1. You're hilarious. I can't wait for tomorrows episode to see if you find the purple top.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahaha... hey, at least you got a show. If it was
    MY life, hmmm.... no show. NEVER.

    ReplyDelete

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