I'm rarely searched at airport security - for some reason, I rarely make the machine bleep. I have NEVER had my handbag searched.
Yesterday, after a mad dash across London to make our flight (and actually, after all the panic, checking in early!) I had both myself AND my bag searched. Fun!
After the woman frisking me got annoyed at me for not understanding that "take a step to the side" actually meant "spread your legs" (why don't they just say what they bloody well mean???) I turned around to see a dude holding my bag. "Sorry, I have to search this," he said. I immediately thought they had seen something dodgy going through the scanning machine thingummy (yep, that's the "technical" term) but he assured me it was simply a random check. And then proceeded to pull every item so neatly crammed into my tiny bag out of it. (I had spent about ten minutes making it all fit earlier that day. Great.)
As he searched my bag, he was trying to make conversation with me. I'm not sure if it was because he felt awkward about searching my bag, was just trying to be friendly, or thought I could be dangerous. Or all three. Anyway, I was distracted - as you tend to be when someone else is rummaging through your bag and taking all your stuff out so its displayed to everyone around you.
Apparently I was all clear so he started to pack everything back into the bag. Haphazardly. So it wouldn't close anymore. Grrr. "If it's any consolation," he said in closing, jokingly (I think!), "We only search the nice looking bags."
And of course, I couldn't stop the parting shot. "So was I searched because they only search the nice looking bodies?" I blurted before I could help myself.
Luckily he just laughed.
And probably thought I was either mental, deluded or in possession of an enormous ego.
But at least I caught my flight I suppose . . .