Monday, 18 May 2009


So he says he's stressed and has way too much to do right now.

Not as an excuse for not seeing me. Not as a reason why he hasn't text. Just if I ask him how he is, or what he's up to, that's the reply I get.

I'm torn.

Half of me hears the alarm bells. These sort of excuses have been used on me before, by others.

The other part of me? Doesn't believe that is what this guy is like.

I told him today if he needed a rant about anything, he knew where I was. That I was a good listener, and I would hopefully talk to him soon. He replied to that saying "Thanks for that ;-) just got so much on and stressed out to the max".

So I guess I've kinda left the ball in his court for now. I'll see what happens. To be honest, I hadn't even expected a response to the previous text, so I did appreciate that he replied. But who knows what is going to happen now. Let's face it - based on past experience, I'm not going to get my hopes up. But I'm going to try not to think too negatively. I do believe that he's very busy and has a lot on. I would like to think that even if he doesn't have time for me, we could still try and be friends in the meantime. I do still think very highly of him and he is essentially the only person I'm now still really in touch with from high school (if you don't count other facebook friends who I barely am in contact with).

Of course, if he is just going to use this whole busy-ness thing as an excuse to just lose contact with me, then I probably won't think highly of him for much longer . . .

I'm trying to not let it get to me too much for the moment. Let's see how long that lasts!


  1. I lost a really good guy cos I couldn't take 'I've been busy/stressed/tired' as a valid reason why he wouldn't contact me enough.

    On the other hand, it's only with retrospect that I can look back and wish I had been able to take it. I remember at the time how rubbish it felt when I hadn't heard from him for a week, sometimes two; when it was clear I was holding the whole thing together and he was slipping away. Sometimes it's better if you recognise that much earlier on, you'll save yourself a lot of heartache.

  2. You're overanalysing!! (I do this all the time... I can recognise a kindred worrier!)
    He obviously likes you. Men are more direct than we give them credit for. It's when they don't say anything we should worry. Sometimes they're also too sensitive for their own good - he probably doesn't want to take his stress out on you. You want to be someone he goes to to relax with, not unload on. So take a break yourself! And look forward to the reunion.

    Good luck!

  3. Hugs. Not much more I can say I don't think. Hugs.

  4. I agree with Kirsty, don't overanalyze. Do your own thing and don't wait around for the phone to buzz. If all else wait a few days and then you can send a sexy text about maybe doing something *wink* to take his mind off the stress ;)

  5. Hey, I think I've never commented before :-). But since I have a friend who had a lot of trouble with dating and guys who disappeared all the sudden, I gotta say something now :-). She's now following "the Rules" and it has been working great. It's a book that seems pretty strict and a bit old fashioned but the core message is good: Leave the text messaging and contacting and asking out completely to him! If he's interested,he's going to call. You should have a look at that book and see if you like it. I also really liked "He's just not that into you" (the book), it is quite funny. Basically the same message. A great distraction for those days you feel very impatient to hear from him. All in all your situation doesn't sound too bad but I would now leave the next step to him. Good luck from Germany!

  6. I want to say that he's just being stressed but so many guys use the "im busy" excuse these days to do just what you said - lose contact with a girl, that I can't assure you with certainty that it's not what he's doing.
    Don't lose hope just yet, but don't hold your breath. I would keep busy, and wait for him to text/call/make plans with you. Let him make the next move. He can't possibly be busy 24/7, and if he is, well you probably don't want a guy like that anyway.

  7. Maybe just take a step back, try not to stress out about it and see what happens...if you can!

  8. Yes! let's think he's busy...let's catch positive thoughts somehow...not all of them are jerks...maybe this one is really different and he just doesn't want to transmit you all the stress and crap that might be in his head right now...

  9. just see if he contacts you-- if he really is stressed out, once this is all over he'll reach out. If it's just him being an asshole then he won't. Leave the ball in his court.


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