Sunday, 5 April 2009


A couple of years back, one of my friends bought me a book for christmas called "How To Walk in High Heels". The book was about more than just walking in high heels admittedly - it had chapters about various other things too (like understanding politics, working your computer, and so on) but the walking in high heels part was interesting. It was advising you to do things like go to a supermarket and practice walking up and down the aisles in your heels, using the trolley you were pushing as support.

Anyway, for me, its not the walking in high heels that is the problem. I can walk just fine, thanks very much.

It's the fact I always end up with half dead calf muscles within about ten minutes of walking in them. Now THAT is a complete and utter pain in the ass.

I don't really wear high heels very much these days anyway, and tend to stick to flats or wedges. And most of the high heels I DO own and wear are probably fairly comfortable in comparison to other people's shoes. But - oh my god - last night I was fit for crying.

By the time I walked the ten minute walk to the subway, I thought I was going to die.

I wobbled up to the counter for my ticket, headed unsteadily down the escalator and stairs and stood on the platform. The second I stopped, my legs started shaking uncontrollably.

I was just glad there weren't too many people behind me to witness my wobbly pins.

I don't understand why they were hurting me so bloody much but when you are meant to be going on a frigging BOOGIE bus, and can't stand up, it's not exactly going to be the ideal situation to be in.

I had to dance in my seat instead.

Not quite so much fun as dancing around a pole, I have to admit. But there's no way I could have danced on that bus when it was STATIONARY, never mind when it was circumnavigating its way around Glasgow. My legs simply wouldn't have been able to stand it.

I'm so traumatised I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to wear heels again . . .


  1. I've never understood how it is women cope with those things, but speaking on behalf of mankind, thanks for trying. For what it's worth, they look spectacular, wobbly or not.

  2. I'm sorry, Paula. The memories will past, though, and one day you'll be walking by a shop window and see some heels you just have to have. That's the way it always works for me!

  3. Oh dear goodness! I got the same thing when I started wearing 12cm-inch heels. Then, i got used to. Now, I feel short in anything else but 12's.

    Still, don't push it. It can get dangerous for your health (talking about back and ovaries here).

  4. I always wear flats! Work, dates, you name it, I hate heels! They look great but never worth the pain!

  5. I find bandaids on the heels and insoles help with blisters, but heels really are a pain for beauty sitch.

  6. trust me the pain goes away the more you wear heels. I spent my life in heels and I know how they can hurt, but you just got to train the feet. shoes are too pretty not to be worn

  7. I wish i was good with heals. I always look at them so longingly in the shops. so pretty, but so evil!!

  8. I love heels. Then again, I am short. I have a pair of heels that makes me want to cry just looking at them. They are pure evil.

    They are Manolo Blahniks and I unfortunately wore them to my wedding.

  9. High-heeled shoes suitable for some people, some high-heeled shoes do not fit. Not to force themselves to wear it, do not damage the foot.
    Health information
    Humor & Fun World

  10. Used to be able to wear the highest heels and platforms without the slightest pain. Now my feet are old, and nearly die in even two inch heels. Boo.

  11. I get tired walking around Glasgow, full stop. Heels aren't even considerable!


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