I was on the verge of telling you about my mental night last night (I was away on a work trip) but something more important is bugging me now. Something I feel like I need to get out.
Do you know what does my head in? When someone treats me like I am some obsessed stalker, who keeps secrets from me, but yet tells other people with the knowledge that IS going to get back to me. Why is there no consistency?
Why is it the person seems to think I'm not over them? Not only have I been over him for quite some time now, not only am I sort of interested in someone else, but . . . I'm being treated like an utter idiot. I'm just sick of being treated like crap. Treated like some sort of pariah for something that isn't even my fault. The last couple of days has proved this to me more than ever. I'm actually at the end of my tether now, I want to scream "I am over you!" but it would be . . . well, somewhat random, right?
All the same, it's just so unbelievably frustrating. I feel like I'm being punished because of my own bad judgement, my gender, even perhaps my PERSONALITY. More importantly, I feel like I'm being punished purely by the fact that I'm ME.
I'm tired of the secrecy, I've had it with being left out. This has been affecting me on several different levels for some time now and I've had enough.
I'm trying really hard not to care. But it isn't that easy.