The last couple of days, I have felt like a bit of an emotional wreck.
Yesterday morning for example, I found a bunch of sweet texts from my ex on my old phone . . . and cried. Despite the fact the relationship was over a year ago.
Everytime I've been on my own, I've felt completely abandoned. This is coming from the person who usually prefers her own company to the company of others. I've been hopping from one website to the next trying to find a friend to talk to.
But then I don't really feel like I can talk about it.
COS I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG.
I mean, you can't really sit down and say to someone "I feel a bit, well, OFF, but I don't really know WHAT I'm feeling. And I DEFINITELY don't know WHY." Well, I personally can't. I always feel a bit dumb doing so. And feeling dumb on top of everything else isn't going to help my state of mind.
Instead I'm putting a brave face on it all again, pretending to be happy when I'm not entirely sure why I SHOULDN'T be happy. It's not like I have a crappy life. I really LIKE my life most of the time, the goods DO tend to outweigh the bad.
So why is it the past few days I've felt like I'm falling apart?
I guess only the next few days will tell if this is an ongoing problem, or whether it is just me coming all too close to my next monthly visit from Aunty Rose.
In the meantime, I'll just slowly go mad . . .