Wednesday, 18 February 2009

GREAT BRIT (AWARDS)!!!

I was at a bit of a loss (again!) of what to post about tonight but then i remembered the BRIT awards were on and so I decided why not do an Andy and provide you with some of my most salient comments on the ceremony? (Although it won't be anywhere near as humourous, I'm afraid). Unfortunately I didn't quite count upon the fact that a bottle of Ernest & Julio White Zinfandel may affect my judgement a little . . .

  • I thought for the first half minute or so of the show that they were showing an I-tunes advert starring U2 - then I realised they were actually staging a live performance complete with strange lighting and a screen flashing colourful random images behind them. My eyes were going funny . . .
  • Yay, Kylie Minogue is presenting!!! Why do I like her so much when she's more than ten years older than me yet looks twenty times better? I should hate her really. But I just can't bring myself to . . .
  • Coldplay are going to be performing apparently. Should I get my razorblade right now or wait until they come on???
  • I'm amazed Duffy's spindly legs supported her on the walk to the stage. And her comment as she accepted the award "British female - I don't know what that means" was a little odd . . . And don't get me started on the fact that despite the fact she is a good few years younger than me, she reminds me of a middle aged woman who's had some dodgy plastic surgery. Ooops . . . I've said too much!
  • Katy Perry is apparently unwell, and sounds like she is going to die. (Oh, and she has just added at the end of her acceptance speech "I want to die now". Good call there, Paula!)
  • I'm currently trying to work out if Girls Aloud are CARRYING massive feather fan things or WEARING them as dresses . . .
  • No, they're wearing something else behind the fans too.
  • The outfits are smaller than the feather fans!!!
  • I always forget how the BRIT awards make me always feel really inferior and uncool when they announce the nominations and I don't recognise half the names. Beth Rowley? The Last Shadow Puppets? Do they make these people up just to make me feel like I have no credibility whatsoever? (I'm sure I'll have more names to add to this list . . .)
  • Duffy receives her second award of the night and in her acceptance speech jokes "I'm starting to recognise your faces." Er - THAT'S BECAUSE THE MAJORITY OF THE AUDIENCE ARE FAMOUS!!! Man, she won't be getting much recognition for her brains anyway . . .
  • Phew - Coldplay are performing the only song by them that I can ever honestly say I've shuffled uncomfortably and admitted I kinda like . . . obviously, with the disclaimer, "for a COLDPLAY song . . . " (Just spent the ad break having a rant with my flatmate about how much we hate Coldplay and can't understand why they are so popular . . .)
  • On an unrelated subject, I am getting closer and closer to inflating my gym ball. It's still a long way away from being FULLY inflated, but it's GETTING there . . .
  • Best International Group and more people I have never heard of to add to the list - Fleet Foxes. Who they fuck are THEY when they are at home? And I didn't realise AC/DC still MADE music. Oh well, at least Kings of Leon won - not only have I actually HEARD of them, I actually LIKE their music too. Wow, makes a change . . .
  • Wow, Jamie Cullum actually makes Jamie Oliver look TALL.
  • Paul Weller sounds distinctly underwhelmed that he won best british male. I guess that makes sense considering he didn't even turn up to accept the award at the ceremony itself . . .
  • Kings of Leon "thanks England" and alienates every other British fan who ISN'T English in the process. Hi, it's called the BRITS! Britain has FOUR countries in it, okay???
  • And Take That proceed to sing their worst and most overplayed single ever in order to make my bad mood even WORSE!!! (Come on dudes, even the COLDPLAY song was better than this, and that's saying something!)
  • I just told my flatmate what I was blogging about and her comment? "That's very sad." I had to agree but I kept doing it anyway cos it's really the only motivation to keep me watching at this stage . . .
  • I've forgiven KoL already for their lack of geographical knowledge because I am LOVING their performance of "Use Somebody". Yes, I am a fickle one. Went from love to hate and back to love again in less than half an hour . . .
  • Oh my god, I think The Hoff just perved on Fearne Cotton!!! On live tv! Eeek!
  • Florence and The Machine wins the Critic's Choice award - whoever SHE is! One random girl turns up to receive the award. Is SHE Florence? And if so . . . where is the machine???
  • I'm not sure about the Ting Tings and Estelle collaboration. Like both acts individually but together . . . it's kind of like music spew. A bit of a mess, really . . .
  • Best British single award winning single? Meh. (Judge for yourself here.)
  • Man, Tom Jones has aged considerably. Yet doesn't appear to have given up the sunbeds . . .
  • Currently watching Pet Shop Boys do some medley of hits accompanied by Brandon Flowers (why is it that such a good looking dude has such questionable taste in clothing?) and Lady Gaga, who is sounding decidedly off-tune.

All in all? More than a little disappointed with the whole thing I'm afraid. Anyway, off to finish the sliver of wine I have left and then head to bed. Ta-ta!!!

9 comments:

  1. I'm sure Andy will be proud!! I did laugh a lot, don't worry.

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  2. LOL I dont know anyone you talked about except Cold Play.

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  3. fleet foxes is amazing.
    wow you really do hate coldplay.
    i loved your summary so much better than the actual show.

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  4. Oh, your comments very interesting, I like it, ha ha.
    http://eyesinkaleidoscope.blogspot.com/
    http://fymtyh.blogspot.com/

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  5. Great rundown - so glad i missed it.

    Except for the " Use Somebody " by Kings Of Leon bit... i love that song!

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  6. Thanks for the commentary. I wasn't there, but now I feel like I was sat there with you, beer in hand. CP x

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  7. Coldplay recycled their outfits. HORRIBLE.

    Not that it's that big of a deal... i just don't like them.

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  8. Kings of Leon=mmmmmmm.
    The rest=meh.

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  9. There's really a group called Pet Shop Boys?

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