My mum always yells at me for leaving my bag open. I have to admit I'm really bad for that. (I'm also very bad for buying bags that just don't have the ability to shut properly but aren't we all?) Anyway, that's probably the reason why I've lost purses, passports, phones, even my work security pass. But I would never admit that to her.
Anyway, yesterday after lunch, I was standing in a queue to fob out of the downstairs door. And my bag was open . . .
Male colleague in queue behind me: Hey, your bag is open.
Me: (inwardly) Yes, thanks for pointing that out. I didn't SHUT it when I left the kitchen five seconds ago so unless someone ELSE has shut it for me on my way to the door, it was unlikely to have closed in that short period of time.
Me: (out loud, fairly nicely) Yes, I know.
Male colleague: I could steal your purse, you know!
Me: (not without a touch of sarcasm) I'm sure you could.
Male colleague: Yeah I could. (peers inside my bag). Where is it?
First of all, good look in finding my purse inside my bag. Half the time, I can't find ANYTHING inside that black hole.
Secondly, did you actually think I was going to HELP you steal from me? (My mum would probably say me leaving my bag open was help enough, but you know what mums are like!) Point you to the exact location of my purse inside there? Give you coordinates and a compass? Er - no, I don't think so!
I imagine the next logical step would be . . . oh, I don't know, helping someone to MURDER me??? (Okay, that's not entirely logical, I'll admit.) This clip springs to mind . . .