Monday, 12 January 2009


Last Thursday, we were in Tesco at lunchtime and decided to bring back some cookies for the rest of our team. No particular reason, it wasn't one of our birthdays or anything like that, it just seemed like a nice thing to do. They were on offer so we picked up some Milky Bar cookies and some Toffee Crisp cookies. When we got back to the office, we dumped the bags of cookies on top of one of our team-mates in-trays and helped ourselves. They tasted good but there was loads.

Anyway, when I got to work today, I clocked that the bags of cookies were still sitting there. Momentarily I thought perhaps it was time we chucked them out, given they had been sitting there for four days now. But it totally slipped my mind until one of my colleagues picked up the bag of Toffee Crisp cookies, took one out, examined it meditatively, and then popped it in his mouth.

"Still tastes good," was his diagnosis.

I grimaced. "But they've been sitting there for days."

He glanced at the bag and nodded in confirmation. "Use by date is the 9th January."

"Okay, so if you collapse, we'll know why," I concluded.

He looked at me in confusion for a minute and I wondered what I had said that was so wrong. Then he started laughing. "Oh, I misheard you there," he said.

Apparently, he'd thought I said "If you get crabs, we'll know why."

So, just to make something clear . . . it's unlikely that cookies will give you a sexually transmitted disease. Even ones that are past their use-by date.

It's perhaps also worth noting that cookies WON'T make you pregnant.

They MAY cause weight gain though.

Unless you eat them standing up, of course . . .


I've heard that's it's National Delurking Day. So feel free to leave a comment, even if you normally wouldn't!


  1. Greetings from across the pond!

  2. whew. . .so glad I can't get an STD from old cookies.


    Ha! ha! that was a really funny story.

  3. HAHAHA no STD COOKIES! hilarious.

    and we all know i read all your posts :)

  4. Dude, if getting crabs from eating cookies was a possibility I might not be as overweight as I am!

  5. So, I'm never eating those cookies from Tesco again!! :p Saying that though, the Smarties cookies and the Terry Choc Orange ones are THE BEST!!

    And I have a bone to pick with you!!! (That sounds mean, it really isn't) - you have some fabbity material for writing with things like this story and your boob story below (*especially* your boob story below), please write something fictional!! Pretty please? :0)

  6. Well, if you got crabs for eating cookies, then I'd be really really really screwed.

  7. I'm so glad that cookies are back on the safe menu!

    Time to re-luck.

  8. I don't know what to comment, but I'll just leave this: I <3 COOKIES!!!!!! * :) *

  9. Hiya love yor blog I read it each morning from el @ down under..xoxox

  10. oh wow, its good to know I cna now eat cookies again as I was scared by the whole pregnancy/ crabs thing! ;)

  11. I'm so glad cookies won't make me pregnant, because I eat a lot of them.

  12. bahahahahaha! crabs from cookies.

    You have to protect yourself if you want to eat cookies, it's VERY important.

    Use milk?

    lol, I couldn't think of any other protection lines.


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