Wednesday, 30 December 2009


I'm going to cover a couple of things again today. It's weird . . . you get to the end of the year, putting things off, then you have so much unfinished business.

Weird huh?

Anyway . . .

Firstly, I've decided to participate in the weekly feature of a blog I've recently started reading and already love, Classy in Philadelphia. The feature is called "Where in the World Wednesday" (sorry, I can't work out for the life of me how to get the button to work!) where I post a picture of myself somewhere in the world.

So this is me in Lanzarote. In the UK, Lanzarote is a fairly common destination to go to (I was meant to go back there next year in fact - until the airline went bust a week or two ago!), but for the uninitiated, it's part of the Canary Islands, a series of Spanish islands located off the coast of Morocco and Western Sahara. Of the four main Canary Islands I've visited, Lanzarote is my favourite (closely followed by Fuerteventura, which I visited when I was in Lanzarote - and vice versa - they're right next to each other and both have similar dry desert conditions which I immediately - no pun intended - warmed to). I went to Lanzarote in October 2007 (after the day trip from Fuerteventura in 2006) and the weather was incredible - in this picture I'm on the balcony (which was absolutely HUGE) of the apartment me and my mum shared. Unfortunately it looked out on what was essentially wasteland (and, weirdly, a McDonalds?) but what I love about the Canaries, apart from the weather, is the fact they don't look like Scotland. They're not all green. They're lunar and volcanic looking. And, natural-disaster fanatic that I am, I find that very cool.

I'm sad I won't be going there again as planned next May - looks like we'll be going to the Greek islands instead of Spanish ones - but I WILL get back there soon!!!


So Elle was talking about her tunes of 2009 the other day - the ones that will remind her of this year - and since I already copied her by talking about my favourite 2009 books, I thought I would follow suit with this too. (Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Elle, okay? Hehe.)

So without further ado:

Just Dance - Lady Gaga (had no idea who the fuck she was when I first heard this tune but it was a damn good song. And ever since then everything she has touched has turned to gold. Not counting her fashion sense. But this song remains my favourite).

Birdhouse in Your Soul - They Might Be Giants
(Cheating ever so slightly here since this song doesn't even belong in this DECADE, let alone this year. But 1) it's awesome and 2) it reminds me of my insane work away day in Troon in March where we ended up in someone's suite bopping along to this. Considering the majority of my department are around the same age as me, most of us knew it, but I had honestly thought I was one of the few people who loved it. Apparently not...)

Untouched - The Veronicas (utterly fabulous and the intro reminds me of "The Boys of Summer" by Don Henley which can never be a bad thing.)

Like Elle I also loved Tinchy Stryder and N-Dubz "Number One" as it reminds me of my holiday...

Then there was Daniel Merriweather's "Red" - absolutely BEAUTIFUL . . .

And as for Pixie Lott's "Mama Do" . . . I ADORE the stylishness of the video . . .

As for Cheryl Cole's debut solo single . . . well I really didn't WANT to like it. But I did. And the first time I HEARD it, I LIKED it. It wasn't even like it had to GROW on me. How humiliating...

And as the year comes to an end, this is the song I currently have on repeat . . .

And as for the single I would quite happily never hear again, have hated from the outset, and would like to actually obliterate from the planet . . . well done Black Eyed Peas. If I hear that fecking "I've Got A Feeling" or whatever the fuck it is called one more time . . . well, I'm bloody going to have to listen to it for the rest of my life as it seems to be everyone else's favourite, so I can't really do anything drastic but if I hear it . . . I'm going to moan. A lot. Just sayin' . . .

So what were YOUR songs of 2009? And where are you hoping to travel to in 2010???

And tomorrow I think it might be time to sum up the year in pictures, like I did last year. Who's with me???

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

2009 . . .

I said I'd do a separate post for 2009 after my decade in review and so here it is.

2009 was a bit of a weird one. NICE . . . but weird.

I'm still doing the same job I was doing at the beginning of the year, so not much has changed there. Similarly, I started off the year single and I'm ending it single. But between the beginning and the end of the year, things were a little different for me.

For one thing, I've always been someone who tended to end up in relations with work colleagues. I guess this is because for me it's the easiest way to get to know someone. So to get involved with TWO different guys I didn't work with. That was weird...


First of all, there was The Guy, as I christened him here. Probably easier if I now call him by his initial instead - F. He monopolised a big chunk of my year; which was weird considering I think I saw him a total of nine times over six months. If you don't know the story of F, back when I was in high school, there was a guy I liked. Unlike all the other guys I liked in high school, I never told him I liked him and as a result there was no awkwardness between us. He was one of the few guys that the formerly shy me was able to talk to. When we left school, I ran into him every so often on the train home from uni, and we had a brief email relationship but that all ended over 10 years ago.

We became friends on Facebook back in 2007 but communication was fleeting as he lived with someone - a girl he had been seeing for 5 years. In February of this year I noted in passing the change in relationship status but didn't think much of it. As far as I was concerned he was in the past. It was about a month later when I randomly commented on his wall more hoping he would reply on my wall to make me look popular in the eyes of ANOTHER guy I thought I might like. This other guy I had just worked up the courage to give my number to a few days before. Which was also weird. It had taken me so long to do that, then F came along.

That one comment was replied to and became a slow exchange of wall posts during the following day, which turned into a eight hour conversation on Facebook Chat. Around midnight, four hours into the chat, I commented that we probably had talked longer that night than we had ever spoken before in total in our lives. He agreed. We ended up playing a drinking game of sorts. We continued to talk. At around four am (on a Monday morning) it turned into flirting. I mentioned I used to fancy him in high school, he said he had had a feeling but had been too chicken to do anything about it. I couldn't believe that he had liked me. Over the next few days he would private message me on Facebook and on the Wednesday night he asked me out. We went on our first date that Saturday, a week to the day I'd first left the comment on his wall to say hi.

The next month was fantastic. We would chat constantly on Facebook Chat at nighttime and as for my phone bill . . . we exchanged so many texts that I ended up sending him around 1300 texts in three weeks! Within three weeks he'd invited me over for dinner and . . . well, you know. And it was really REALLY good.

That was the first time I've ever slept with a guy I went to school with!

Unfortunately by the end of May it all started to go pear shaped. He was directing a play at the Fringe in Edinburgh and didn't have time for me. I liked him and he hadn't given me any reason to think he wasn't still interested, so I stuck it out and waited for him. I even went all the way to Edinburgh to see the play - which was admittedly very good. I saw him once after the play's run ended and then I didn't hear from him for a week. When he finally did get in contact with me, it was to say he had needed time to think and couldn't commit to me. Since then, we exchange the odd (very occasional) message on facebook and sometimes comment on one another's status updates but that's it.

I am proud of the way I just let it go though. It hurts me to see that he doesn't seem to be bothered about me, despite all those late night chats we shared and the closeness, but I have tried my best to just act unbothered too. I am dreading the day he changes his relationship status though - especially since the whole time I was seeing him he remained "single". No matter what though, I don't regret getting involved with him. I took a risk and for a while it paid off. I just wish I'd let go sooner.


My second man related risk was when I kissed S at the Halloween party my former flatmate held and gave him my number. And normally I wouldn't have done anything about it, but when he text me to tell me he'd had a good time I said I hoped we could meet up soon. But I left the ball in his court.

One of my friends is a big fan of "The Rules" - and although I generally think they're rubbish, I decided to play along in terms of not contacting him unless he contacted me. So when he finally contacted me and suggested we go out that weekend, I felt like he definitely did like me. And so we went out, we had a great time and he seemed keen to see me again. The following Friday we made concrete plans and then the following day he text me to say he couldn't see me anymore as he and his ex had been in touch and he still had feelings for her.

I didn't reply and to this day I still haven't. I'm proud of my self-restraint. I did say to my friend that I felt like "The Rules" had been a big waste of time - "I tried to play the game and he still didn't want me". She pointed out though that by playing it cooler than usual I had preserved my dignity and came out of the situation well. I can't argue with that. Had I chased harder I would have felt responsible, but this way I KNOW it wasn't my fault.

I saw pictures of him on Facebook the other day from a couple of weekends ago. He still looked hot. And happy. I hated that. But at least I hadn't got too attached. And he is officially the first guy who I didn't really KNOW who I went on a date with. So that's a ANOTHER first for me...


My first kiss of the year was at a party where I very embarrassingly got caught with the guy's hands in my knickers. Oops. The second was at a work night out with a boy who CLAIMED to be a student and 21 but my colleagues told me later they believed he was actually underage and his school uniform was possibly stashed in his bag. Er . . .

Then the weekend after F finally ended it, I went to The Shed and snogged a hot but very quiet Irish guy. Who knows how that one might have turned out had we not had to do a bunk from some guy who was after V and wouldn't take no for an answer... Actually it probably wouldn't have turned out at all since, like I said at the time, he didn't say very much. Which was a shame because I DO love an Irish accent!

Apart from that and F and S, I've had no "action" this year, but I've had a fair amount of offers. I was asked out by ANOTHER guy I went to school with who I hadn't seen for over ten years (also via Facebook). Another guy from school gave me his number via Facebook. The much younger guy I used to work with asked me out. And some random dude who was the uncle of a colleague tried to add me on Facebook purely because he liked the look of me!


I didn't make it to any of the Canary Islands this year, sadly, but I did get to go to a couple of new places. Namely the Greek island of Rhodes and the Spanish island of Majorca. I loved them both, especially Rhodes - the people in the resort we stayed in were sooo friendly and it was ridiculously cheap. The only downside was the rose wine left a lot to be desired. Unlike Majorca where you could buy lovely bottles of sparkling rose for 2 euros!

That being said, however much I loved Majorca, it was one of those holidays where loads went wrong. The taxi went off the road on the way to the airport then we had a flight delay of eight hours. While IN Majorca, there was a terrorist attack in the resort we were staying in which two policemen were killed and there was increased police presence for the rest of the holiday, which was a bit scary.

As well as the foreign holidays, when I went down to London for work in June I got to visit a new part of the city I'd never been before - Camden. I loved it there although it did remind me a lot of the Barras part of Glasgow and was unbelievably busy.

Once again, I never made it over to Ireland to see my friend A though. I will eventually though, I hope!


Two of my favourite flatmates moved out this year sadly - it was just getting back to the days when V lived here, or Mich and A, and I had people I could really bond with. B moved in at the summer and so I had three people I could hang around with for a couple of months, then the two Ms both moved in with their men in the space of a month. Which made me sad. Luckily I like most of other girls I live with - I've certainly been worse off in the past so I'm coping. Although I REALLY need to start looking into buying a place at some point. But with the economy being what it is, it's such a big bloody risk and I'm kinda unwilling to make the commitment at the moment when I have no idea where I'll be in the future.


I've went through phases where I've been somewhat lazy with the blog during the year and these have mainly coincided with the times there's been some sort of guy in my life. I guess I'm slightly reluctant to reveal too much, at least at the beginning, because if I do end up getting serious about someone, I'm going to have to tell them about the blog at some point. But now I'm well and truly single again, I've been a lot more active.

Perhaps the blog IS my boyfriend???

I managed to complete NaBloMoPo (is that what it's called? I always get the words the wrong way around!) in November and posted everyday for a month. I know people don't always think this is much of a challenge, but I do like to think that I made sure there was SOME kind of point to the post. Luckily as the start of November coincided with me meeting S, that provided me with some good blog fodder for a bit of the month!

I feel like I found more bloggers this year to read and enjoy and to make me laugh too. I participated in LiLu's "TMI Thursday" a few times, which I never thought I would do - I didn't realise I HAD any stories that contained "too much information" . . . but apparently I do!


I didn't really accomplish much this year, but then I didn't really set out any goals either. I planned not to drink in January and that was a dismal failure. I also wanted to lose weight, which hasn't happened - if anything, I put weight on!


The main thing I wanted to do, since I turned 30 in 2009, was ensure my last year of my twenties was an interesting, fun year. And you know what? I managed it. I have had an awesome year, with some strange twists and turns. If anyone had told me last year that by the end of this year I'd have shagged F I'd have laughed in their face - I wouldn't have expected to ever SEE him again yet alone bump uglies. So . . . who can even PREDICT what 2010 has in store for me???

Life is full of surprises. I just wonder what the next one is going to be . . .

Monday, 28 December 2009


Lauren did this post a few days ago so I'm going to follow suit and try to recap the past decade too. I only actually realised a few weeks ago that it's not just the year that's ending, it's also the decade. What a weird feeling. I remember parts of the year 2000 like it was only yesterday.

The world didn't end. I went into my fourth year of uni. I turned 21 (like my 18th, it was a bit of a non-event) I think I got my first mobile phone then as well. It was MASSIVE.

Graduated from uni and spent four months unemployed before getting a temporary Christmas job in a department store. Went on my first date. (I was a late starter) Started seeing the guy although I didn't really fancy him all that much; I was just happy someone fancied me!

Broke up with the guy after three months. He then started seeing one of my friends. That upset me at first as I wanted him out of my life, but they actually stayed together for three years. He still harrasses her now to this day. Spent another six months unemployed then started working for directory enquiries. Started going out with a guy I worked there with, who went weird on me after a month or two and one day just didn't come back to work AND stopped contacting me. Fell for another guy I worked with who was four years younger than me. He flirted with me, kissed me and agreed to go on a date with me - despite having a girlfriend. He told me he didn't LIKE the girlfriend though. That was my first experience of a guy with a girlfriend mucking me about.

Moved out of my parent's house. Started seeing one of my managers in my work. Moved again, this time to the flatshare in the west end of Glasgow that I still live in now. Left my job in directory enquiries after eighteen months to work reception in a law firm. Handed in my month's notice after a week as I hated it so much. Started working for Scottish Power. Hated it immediately but stuck it out. Lost my virginity (like I said, late starter!)

Was told by a boy that he loved me for the first time. Got a job with a property company. Boss turned out to be a big fat con artist so I had to quit and get temp jobs instead. Boyfriend broke up with me, and later changed his mind and decided we were just on a break. (A break where we continued to see each other like nothing was wrong). Had a dream job opportunity snatched away from me the day I was meant to start. Went back to work for the con artist for some unknown reason. She fucked me over again. Boyfriend split up with me permanently. I didn't take it well (probably didn't help that he took me to his, gave me a present and slept with me a week after we split). Ended the year in a temp job at Strathclyde University, single, heartbroken, owing my mum about two grand and having lost nearly all of my savings (also about two grand).

Discovered the whole concept of ex-sex, which didn't get my year off to a good start. Left temp job in March so I could go on holiday to Spain for the first time, with my mum and brother. Came back and got a temp job in Glasgow University which I liked much better. When that ended I got a job in my current company, thanks to my ex virtually forcing me into it. This meant spending time with him again. We got on surprisingly well until the first work night out I went to, where I ran into a guy from our old workplace who told me my ex had been seeing someone from there for the past few months. Devastated, I ended up over at one of my friend's house. Because I slept in her bed, she ended up sleeping in a bed with a guy friend she'd had for years and they got together. They're still together today and I take full credit for it. I also went to Tenerife in October - my first of many trips to the Canary Islands.

Continued my newfound love of the Canary Islands by holidaying in Gran Canaria in April and Fuerteventura in October. Started a fling with a colleague which started as a joke. This lasted for a few months and when it ended, I was pretty devastated again. Applied for a job in a different department of my company, and to my amazement, I got it.

Started new job. My ex fell out with me permanently thanks to me being an idiot and accidentally getting him into shit in work. Fell for my best male friend. Broke up with my best male friend. Got back together with my best male friend. Went to Lanzarote. Started blogging.

After a month and a half of smooth sailing into 2008, everything went wrong. In the space of two and a half weeks, my blog got me into shit, my boyfriend broke up with me and my gran died. I started a new blog to try and start over. My former best male friend-turned boyfriend turned into a distant stranger. After a few months I picked myself up and decided to make the rest of the year NOT suck. I went to Gran Canaria, Torrevieja, Belfast and Dublin, Barcelona and Fuerteventura. I went down to London with work and had a near-miss hook up with the friend of a colleague (the only reason I don't entirely regret nothing happen is because I have a feeling he was a bit of a man-whore). In the space of a month I snogged a guy about six years older than me, then a guy about eight years younger . . . the biggest gap in age of guys I'd snogged in both directions.

Well I think 2009 deserves its own post, so I'll do this tomorrow or Wednesday methinks. 2009 was a year of quite a few firsts though.

Sunday, 27 December 2009


Okay, can't be bothered with a proper post so here's just a couple of bits and bobs . . .

First up, today is effectively my blog 2 year anniversary. As I explained last year though, it's a bit confusing because it's not the 2 year anniversary of "Insert My Blog Name Here", rather it's the birthday of my ORIGINAL blogger blog. THIS blog didn't begin until March 2008, however I prefer to count today's date as the anniversary as my previous blog began at a time when I was happy and things appeared to be going right for me; "Insert My Blog Name Here" was the refuge I sought after things went pear shaped both in the original blog AND with my life. So Happy 2nd Birthday blog - like I said in yesterday's post, I love the blogosphere, and 27th December 2007 was the day I discovered it. :)

Secondly, here's two more random quotes from Christmas day with the family . . .

After my mum is trying to work out how her imitation slanket with pouch on the front works:
Mum: Could I put it on back to front and use the pouch as a fart-catcher???

While I am checking out facebook on my Blackberry:
Brother in law: Are you on Facebook AGAIN? What would you do if Facebook stopped? You would DIE, wouldn't you?

And last but not least, something I've been meaning to do for the past couple of days since I've read Elle's posts on it . . . My favourite 10 books I read this year . . .

Who's That Girl? - Alexandra Potter
The Host - Stephanie Meyer
A Vintage Affair - Isabel Wolff
Molly's Millions - Victoria Connelly
Wish Upon A Star - Martina Reilly
Twenties Girl - Sophie Kinsella
Elsewhere - Gabrielle Zevin
E Squared - Matt Beaumont
Rumour Has It - Jill Mansell
The Making of Mia - Ilana Fox

So that's all really. I'm currently watching "Picture Perfect" and nearly finished a bottle of rose wine (I've been drinking since 3.30pm, don't judge me!) After that I'm going onto my green apple flavoured Smirnoff (my brother bought me it as part of my Christmas present - along with Season Four of "Lost", which I have already finished and am predictably completely LOST!) and diet Lemonade and spending the night on the internet and hopefully booking a holiday to Zante, as that seems to be the cheapest alternative now our Lanzarote holiday has fallen through.

So happy 27th December to you all, and happy pseudo 2nd blogoversary to moi!

Saturday, 26 December 2009


We all know I like blog awards. It's always nice to know people think highly enough of what you are writing to pass something like that onto you. To know people actually enjoy reading about your life.

So to receive the Happiness 101 award from not one, but TWO bloggers . . . well that made me happy too. :)

Thanks very much to Amy of Insomniatic Musings and Lucy from Lucy's Life in Suburb World for bestowing this award on me.

So let's get on with it. The rules???

List 10 things that make you happy, try to do at least one of them today, and link back to the person that tagged you. Then tag 10 other bloggers that brighten your day.

So here goes . . .


As in my friends, not the sitcom. While I don't have a circle of friends I grew up with, like some (I lost touch with my schoolfriends after we left school), I have close friends from a variety of different places, uni, former flatmates, various work places I've been over the years. I love hanging out with them and I know they have my back (if only you knew the number of times a certain friend has offered to vandalise the cars of people who do me wrong, haha!). And I love that.


I don't have a huge family but we're very close. And my sister is my best friend.


Yum. I love this. This is what I'm currently drinking. :) It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. And drunk too. Yay!


I've not read as much this year as I'd like, but books are one of my great loves, particularly chick-lit. Not only do I like buying books, I also like browsing book blogs and review sites and can spend ages on them. The books in the picture are ones I still need to read. I stock-pile books as if there's going to be a natural disaster, and rather than living on food, I'm going to inhale books instead. If I don't have loads outstanding to read, I start to panic. A guy in my work said the other week that he was going into town after work to buy a book. "Don't you have ones in your house you haven't read yet?" I asked in disbelief. He hadn't. I couldn't comprehend this. Conversely, HE couldn't comprehend my non-comprehension.


Always makes me happy - especially at "that" time of the month (you know, Aunt Rose's monthly visit). It's a fine line though, a love/hate relationship. If I overindulge, I end up feeling crappy agan.


I love buying clothes. It makes me particularly happy to find a beautiful bargain. The same applies to jewelry, accessories and occasionally shoes.

I know my rack of clothes is not the tidiest and this is only a small selection of my clothes. But I can't stop buying more! It's an addiction. And it makes me smile. :)


This time, I actually mean the sitcom. I absolutely adore it, could watch the same episode four times in a day (and have been known to do so), and like me and one of my former flatmates say, you can bring almost any situation you end up in back to "Friends" and produce a relevant quote. Gotta love that!!!


I love looking at photographs. They always bring back memories of good times; brilliant nigh
ts out, fantastic holidays, or just reminding you of a silly thing you did that might have been embarrassing at the time but . . . looking back, you can't help but smile. I was a bit sad when photographs went all digital - it didn't seem quite the same as having an actual photo in your hand - but with the emergence of social networking websites and flickr and the like, it's all good again - and I can find the pictures much faster now!


It's comfy. Enough said.


If you're feeling crap, you can always find a post to cheer you up, to put your problem in perspective, or simply make you realise that you're not the only one feeling this way. There are some fabulous people lurking in the blogosphere and I don't think I could leave it for the world now.

Which leads me onto ten bloggers who brighten my day:

1. Meghan
2. Angelaboration
3. Arielle
4. Chele
5. Jennifer Alaine
6. Miss H
7. Laura Jane Williams
8. Kellie
9. Carissa Jaded
10. Mich

PS Of the people on this list, one of them is the aforementioned friend who likes to offer to vandalise people's cars for me. But I'm not going to say which one it is. :)

Friday, 25 December 2009


Me to my sister: Remember that night you were out drunk and lost your cardigan and when you woke up the next morning we found it hanging on the bush of the house across the road?

My sister: Do you remember the time mum found a pair of her knickers lying on the street and picked them up, and when she got home she realised they weren't actually hers after all?

Me: Er . . . no???

My mum: Well once I got home I decided they were in far too good condition to belong to me . . .

A serious "what the fuck?" moment, no???


Just screwin' wit ya. I know fine well it's the 25th December.


This week has been very fast and massively tiring for me. I spent three and a half working days in a cold warehouse sorting out exam scripts during what has been the coldest week of the year - temperatures have been plummeting to like -10 degrees C and the ground has had a thin coating of snow for most of the week. Not nice.

And then when I finally got back to the office yesterday afternoon, just in time for the traditional Dominos delivery, I got definite attitude from a colleague who definitely didn't seem to appreciate the fact that I had came back in time for the pizza, and clearly didn't think I deserved any - and from the sounds of it, she had a bitch about it to other people; I'm not just being paranoid. This colleague was on annual leave Monday to Wednesday and came back to the office yesterday. I was working non stop all week. So fucking frustrating.

Pot calling kettle black much???

Anyhoo, I'm now off until Tuesday, then after Tuesday I'm off until the following Tuesday, so working one day in the next week and a half isn't bad for someone who hasn't had any annual leave left since the beginning of October. It's such a relief to have some time off - I'm ready to spend it chilling out, reading, watching DVDs and just generally trying to de-stress. I think I deserve it, especially after this week!

At the moment, I'm sitting on my bed surrounded by presents I've just opened. They were from seven different friends and some of them consisted of more than one present, so there is a lot of wrapping paper now lying about. It looks like the aftermath of a very pretty natural disaster (if there is such a thing.) My parents will be picking me up in just under two hours so I really should get up and at 'em, but instead I'm sitting in my PJs watching Love Actually on dvd. I wanted to watch Home Alone 2 but I can't find it. Boo. :(

Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely day (although I imagine I'm the only one sad enough to be reading blogs on Christmas day) and Santa is good to you! :) xxx

Wednesday, 23 December 2009


Of all the celebrities that died this year, I think its been Brittany Murphy's death on Sunday that hit me hardest. Perhaps because she starred in my favourite film of all time, "Clueless", so she has been someone I liked since I first saw that film in '95, aged 15. Perhaps because she was so damn talented. Perhaps because she seemed so damn nice, like a slightly younger Drew Barrymore (who I also kinda worship.)

Perhaps because she was less than two years older than me, and had her whole life ahead of her.

RIP Brittany.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009


Instead of my semi-regular Cheer-me-up-Tuesday, I'm partaking in a slightly different regular weekday event today:

Bear with me, I'm a mere beginner . . .

Feel free to join in...

Monday, 21 December 2009


Every year I get excited about Christnas. About buying presents. About receiving presents. Come on, I know everyone says the giving is most important but there is a part of me that loves that whole anticipation of receiving a wrapped up present. That thrilling feeling of not knowing what it is, and wondering what could be underneath that gift wrap. It's hard to put into words. I still sometimes feel like a child though when it comes to receiving presents - it just never gets old for me.

Anyway, speaking of wrapping, every year I also get excited about the idea of WRAPPING my presents. I try to set aside a night to do it. Sometimes wine is involved. Not always, but sometimes. (This year the wrapping night ended up being yesterday and I was too hungover from the Christmas night out to even CONTEMPLATE alcohol of any sort.) I look forward to this night. I plan a "theme" of some sort for my wrapping. Be it a few colours (last year I think it was red and gold, another silver and purple) or a pattern or, in this year's case, just simple brown paper with some pretty pattterned tape to brighten it up and some metallic rosettes. In my head, I am going to produce a perfect pile of beautifully wrapped presents which wouldn't look out of place in the window of a posh department store.

In reality, I have a messy bundle of messily wrapped brown paper parcels, the sides aren't neat, the tape is all over the place. The bows falling off. In the absence of gift tags, I've used the blankness of the brown paper to my advantage . . . . or should I say DISadvantage? . . . by writing the names of the recipients directly onto the parcel using a metallic pen or two. In theory, that also seemed like a good idea. In practice? Not so much.

I think I really need to go on a present wrapping course . . . :(

Sunday, 20 December 2009


I refer, of course, to the work Christmas night out. Let's face it, they may as well rename it "The Night Where People Do Terrible Embarrassing Things" - but I guess "work Christmas night out" is shorter, more efficient and everyone knows the inevitable embarrassment the morning after is implied in the title anyway.

Ours was last night in the Old Fruitmarket in Glasgow city centre, and I was expecting some sort of embarrassment to occur. Me and Christmas nights out have NEVER gone well together yet I always insist on going.

Things I have done at Christmas nights out that are stupid and/or embarrassing? Or are just ONLY things that happen at that one time of the year.

1. At a John Lewis Christmas party (the only one of them I went to) I got riproaringly drunk, talked to everyone I could about how gutted I was that I hadn't been kept on as a permanent member of staff (I'd been a Christmas temp) and finally puked outside the staff entrance copiously. (It was still there the next morning as I struggled hungover into work). I then got on the train home to Hamilton and for some reasons decided to not get off at Hamilton. On the last train of the night. Of course. (WHY???) Then drunkenly had to find a taxi to get me back to Hamilton once I finally got off the train.

2. At another job, I ended up in Bennets, a gay club, after the night out in question, with some of my friends and a guy I fancied. He then seemed to be getting quite cosy with one of the guys I was with, so I started thinking I'd read the signals wrong and was asking him if he was gay - which was when he kissed me. We ended up having to leave the bouncers kept moving us along (apparently straight couples aren't allowed to kiss in Bennets) and we ended up stting in the doorway of the pub next door in freezing conditions, contiuing to snog the faces off each other. THAT was actually quite a good night, in retrospect.

3. At a more recent one, I accidentally threw a drink over one of my colleagues. Seriously. The glass was wet, I picked it up and it slipped right out of my hands. And after it soaked her, it smashed on the ground.

4. At an even MORE recent one, I snogged two guys in one night (its one thing to do that at a club where no one knows you, but not in a place full of your colleagues), forgot big chunks of the night and ended up outside crying cos I couldn't get a taxi.

5. The next one I got drunk and upset for no apparent reason and decided to go home (it was only a fifteen minute walk from my flat) - some of my friends stopped me and convinced me to go back in, so I wandered about in my coat for half an hour or so, before leaving again once I visited the bathroom and realised I'd been wandering about with black streaks of mascara coating my cheeks. Attractive...

6 Last year I snogged a guy then ended up crying because me and my friend got into an argument and I hate arguing. Of course, most people didn't realise anything had happened after I snogged the guy so they all thought I was crying because I'd kissed him. Which is embarrassing. After all, what 29 year old kisses a guy and then cries??? Oops.

This year, happily and AMAZINGLY, I think I managed to avoid any scandal. I don't think I did anything stupid. I don't think I even dropped or spilled anything. Wow!!! That being said, a girl from work mentioned this morning that there had been paramedics there and I don't remember this, despite her saying that she's sure she pointed it out to me at the time so if I don't remember THAT . . . then maybe there's stuff out there that I've mentally blocked.

AND I think I looked okay. This was me right after getting ready. (I'm totally into my brown contact lenses right now - think they're way better than the grey ones on me.)

Anyway, I'm hoping that my memory serves me correct in terms of me not doing anything stupid though. Please God!

So what's your most embarrassing office Christmas party story?

Thursday, 17 December 2009


. . . Tampon MIstakes.

Lots of 'em. In one day.

TMI Thursday

So, yes, it's time for LiLu's TMI Thursday. And this possibly will be my last one for a while, as I believe I am fresh out of inspiration. But I had this one, inspired by a TMI post that the fabulous, "I-want-her-as-my-best-friend" Meghan posted a few weeks back to pull out of the bag this week.

I apologise in advance (especially to any dudes who might be reading - if you wish to flip the channel now, I will understand, pinky swear) but will try NOT to overdo the TMI.

I didn't start using tampons until I was sixteen - mainly because I was scared of them and couldn't really work out where they went.

(Can you tell I wasn't sexually active as a teenager???)

So eventually it all came to a head when I was on holiday one year. Me and my sister had befriended these two Irish girls at our holiday camp in Devon (funnily enough, despite the fact that I haven't seen them since that summer in - I believe 1996, we're friends on Facebook) and their parents offered to take us to a water park one day. Now luckily Devon is far warmer than Scotland (South Devon's nickname is "The English Riviera") so a waterpark there in July was actually not a bad idea. (It WOULD be in Glasgow.)

The only problem was, Aunt Rose was in the middle of her monthly visit. Eek. It was finally time for me to try out tampons, I realised. So I dispatched my mum out to get me some. She brought me back two boxes of them. Which seemed a bit too many.

At the time.

An hour later, I was sweating profusely, freaking out, and had went through an entire box of tampons. And these WERE the ones with the applicators (I STILL can't use the ones without, even fourteen years later!) I couldn't work out how to put it in, and how to get it to STAY in. I kept dropping them on the floor or nearly ending up with them in - er - other places. Now I honestly don't have a clue how I couldn't work it out. But like I said, I was innocent and naive and . . . well all the things I'm not REMOTELY anymore. So there you go.

I may have asked my mum to help. She said no, funnily enough.

Finally, about two tampons into the second box, I got one in. And it appeared to be staying. Woohoo! I didn't want to think about it too much in case I scared it, and we were already running late to meet our new friends, so I stuck on my swimsuit over the whole mess and we headed off.

If you think that was the end of it, you have another think coming. There's more . . . (Sorry)

The waterpark we went to was called Quay West and it was great fun, tons of great rides to go on. There was one that was virtually a completely vertical drop. I was too scared to go on that one. My sister went on it and gave herself a wedgie. I'm sure some dudes lost their swimming trunks on it. Eek. I opted for a slightly tamer one - it was quite steep but it went down in stages so it was much less scary apart from the drop at the end.

As I caught my breath and went to climb out of the landing pool, I realised something was different.

My tampon, which hadn't been in right in the first place (I realised now) had dislodged itself. It was now sitting inside the bottom half of my swimsuit.


There wasn't much I could do about it. I didn't have any spares (and let's face it, I probably didn't have enough to get another one in to stay in long enough to last me the day). I couldn't take it out in public. I had no IDEA where the loos were.

So for the rest of the day I had to walk about with it loose inside the crotch of my swimsuit. Terrified it might break free.

But I survived.

And I am MUCH BETTER at using tampons now.

The End. :)

(This totally wasn't meant to publish tomorrow, but I wanted to write it now to cheer myself up after crappy yesterday and its totally published itself somehow. So whatever. Enjoy!) Or not...

Wednesday, 16 December 2009


Doesn't have quite the same ring to it as "fuck my life", does it?

So, as feared, two days after we booked our holiday Lanzarote - in fact, not even two full days - the frigging company went into administration.

Not only is our holiday now cancelled, we don't know what the fuck is happening to our money.

At the time of paying, we were asked if we wished to just put down the deposit but we said no - we wanted to pay it off then and there. However, only 108 pounds has left my account and went into theirs. Which presumably IS the deposit since the full holiday cost around 600. (Should have known that was too good to be true eh?)

But we don't know if the rest is still going to be taken or not. My bank don't know either. (Fat lot of good THEY are.)

The most ironic thing of all, to me, is that the reason me and my sister are royally screwed right now is because we paid for our holiday using my debit card. In other words, we used money WE HAVE to pay for this holiday. If we'd paid it using a credit card we'd probably know exactly where we stood right now.

For someone like me, who has never lived outwith her means - I have never had a credit card and the only store card I ever had I paid off straight away and never used again (The bank tonight told me they reckon its been cancelled) - the fact I am being punished for being careful with my money rankles at me.

I have never had a credit card because I don't want the temptation.

A 250 pounds overdraft is bad enough, as far as I'm concerned. I don't feel comfortable spending money I don't have. It's just the way I was brought up! (Mind you, even my parents surprised me tonight, as you'll see in a paragraph's time...)

I know people who pay for holidays on credit cards with money they don't have. Why should they be in a better financial situation after something like this than me, who used the money I'd put aside from my 30th birthday money from my mum to pay most of my share of the holiday? I was saving it for something nice, like she told me to. A nice holiday with my lovely sister, something to look forward to during that dark period after New Year where everything is cold and depressing. And now it's all screwed up.

And I'm getting lectures left right and centre about how I should have paid for it on a credit card. Which really isn't helping now. Hell, I even let the bank guilt me into APPLYING for one. (It was approved, btw.) Even my DAD, who my sister called for advice, couldn't believe we hadn't used a credit card. WTF??? It's because of him that I never GOT a credit card! (I mean, this is the guy who encouraged me to get a student loan and INVEST it rather than fritter it away like most students. In the end, I just didn't bother getting one at all. If I wasn't going to get to fritter it away I didn't really see the point...)

Anyway, I'm a little upset now. And I know I'll get the money back eventually one way or the other. It's just it's this no mans land at the moment where I don't know where I stand. The bank don't seem clear whether the airline will take the rest of the money or not so I'm not sure what to claim for. I don't want to try and book another holiday when I don't know if there's going to be enough money in my account to cover it. Me and my sister are limited to the week we have both managed to get off work, with only a days leeway in one direction. We both REALLY still want to go to Lanzarote but its looking unlikely we'll get a flight out the days we want, and its REALLY unlikely we'll be getting a holiday there for less than 300 quid each like the one we had booked.

It's just totally up in the air and it's ruined what already was a shitty day.

I fucking hate the credit crunch and the economy and airlines and THE FACT I DON'T LIVE SOMEWHERE WARM ALL YEAR ROUND.

Rant over.

Shag my life . . .

Tuesday, 15 December 2009


So a general recap of anything remotely interesting (ie when compared to SUPER BORING events, this stuff is merely MUNDANE in comparison) that has happened in my world the past few days . . .

*** Remember Solid Ice Bridge from last year? I encountered it again yesterday. Well, it wasn't SOLID ice this time, but considering I'd walked to work in pouring rain and encountered no ice, the bridge was fairly slippery in comparison. I was clinging to the railing as I navigated my way around it, feet slipping wildly. Halfway across I was getting a bit tired so decided to have a break and check Facebook on my phone (you know, like one does while in the middle of traversing a dangerous bridge - I'm sure ALL the great explorers do it too). I'd been standing
there for a minute or two when I turned around and realised there was a guy standing next to me, holding onto the railing. Unwilling to let it go to try and get around me. I don't know how long he'd been standing there. Oops. (The most ironic thing about this is that when I was on this bridge LAST YEAR, some dumb bitch stopped in the middle of the bridge in front of ME!! This is like karma in reverse!)

***I got a delivery card from Royal Mail through my door on Friday saying I'd been out when they tried to deliver something. So on Saturday I unwillingly got up before midday to go up to the delivery office and pick it up . . . and had to wait about twenty minutes in a queue. Yesterday I got a delivery card through again . . . the Royal Mail had tried to deliver MORE packages at the exact time I was up picking up the one from the day before. How irritating. Even more irritating? At least two out of five of my flatmates were in and could have buzzed the people into the building. But did they? Nope. Thanks guys . . .

*** There seems to be a prankster (perhaps more than one?) in work. One department had their advent calendar BROKEN INTO . . . and all the little chocolates were stolen! And as for MY department . . . well we have pretty decorations on our window overlooking the rest of the office, including a little reindeer made of snow spray. SOMEONE MADE IT LOOK LIKE IT HAD POO COMING OUT IT'S BUM!!! I hope no one thinks the mischevious little elf is behind it, because I ain't THAT weird!

*** For the past few days, I have been the only one of my team in work as everyone else is working off-site. Not only does this mean that I'm the out-of-office contact for five people, it also means I'm a bit lonely and grasping at straws for company. If someone from another department makes the mistake of phoning me for assistance - god help them! I'm trying to make conversation while they're on the other end, trying to hang up and more than likely thinking "I'm on a call already, goddammit! I need to get back to this student's query! You're upping my average call time here! I hate you..." And so on.

*** On top of being the office pariah, I'm also apparently invisible. Today I headed up to get the NEXT batch of packages as I was worried my Secret Santa present might be one of the things being held hostage by the delivery office and since we're meant to have those handed in by Thursday and I start work at 6.40am tomorrow, I didn't really see another opportunity of picking it up. So I got a taxi up there and then had to wait in a queue of three people. The girl served the woman in front of me, then walked off and didn't come back! I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE! Eventually someone else came in behind me. "Why don't you ring the bell?" they suggested. "BUT I WAS STANDING IN THE QUEUE!" I protested, jabbing the bell frantically and wondering if my taxi driver was a) counting waiting time in his fare or b) going to drive off and leave me stranded. "I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO RING THE BELL!"

*** After all that, there were four packages waiting for me. None of which was the one I had went there specifically for. But they were all ones I'd been wondering about as I'd ordered them ages ago. So now I just have to hope the Secret Santa present turns up AT MY DOOR before Thursday!

*** But on the upside, the taxi driver only charged me £6.50 for what turned out to be a ten minute drive, ten minute wait and another twenty minute drive. Nice dude. Although I DID have to give him a general overview of ebay and listen to him name every town in the States for most of the journey. AND I gave him ten pounds because I thought he grossly undercharged me.

*** Oh and the dress? My sister managed to zip me into it. Once inside, I was virtually trapped. And couldn't breathe. And my insides began to hurt fairly quickly. But unless I can find an alternative before Saturday, I'm gonna have to put up with it. Best start practicing holding my breath, I guess . . .

Let's ignore the fact my body is apparently trying to escape it and that I can't breathe - I got it to zip up!!!
(Let's also ignore the state of 1) my hair and 2) my room . . .)

*** And last of all, a possible soon-to-be-FML entry for you. Me and my sister booked Lanzarote last night (We also ate chicken fajitas and raspberry pavlova, drank two bottles of rose wine between us, and watched "The Hangover" but that's neither here nor there). Then I discovered today that there has been major rumours going around that they are going to go bust. Blurgh.

Sunday, 13 December 2009

2010 . . .

I've already been thinking about New Year's Resolutions.

Well, not so much resolutions as things I just want to DO next year.

  • Find a form of exercise that I WANT to do so I can keep at it, and keep healthy.
  • Visit more places in the UK (for example, I want to visit some of the islands off the coast of Scotland, as I never have before and I've always wanted to. Like Barra, for example, or Lewis)
  • Meet some bloggers (hopefully this will be happening in February)
  • Make a start on that writing course that I bought nearly a year and a half ago (otherwise what was the point in me spending close to 300 quid on it???) In fact, hopefully I'll make a start on that BEFORE the New Year . . .
  • Try and go on at least two foreign holidays (hopefully Lanzarote is getting booked tomorrow night for May of next year, so that's a start)
  • Lose a stone in weight
  • Start SAVING money so I'm not just living one month's salary to the next
  • Finally prove to my boss and other co-workers that I'm just as valuable as the teammate who seems to get all the recognition no matter what I do.
I think that's enough for the moment. Although I may think of more as it gets closer to the end of the year. I could add that I would love to find my perfect guy (AND perfect relationship) but that's more a matter of fate than anything else and given MY luck with guys, I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

So what are your plans for next year???

Saturday, 12 December 2009


While I don't approve of crash dieting, I really need to lose a couple of pounds this week to fit into a dress I bought. Does anyone know of any quick fixes? I don't have time to return the dress and buy a size larger (and I think the larger size would be a tad too big, especially around the chest) and I'm not sure I'll have time to buy another one by next Saturday, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. And it goes without saying that I will love you all forever. :)

And in case you're interested in what I am trying to fit into exactly, have a look here...

Friday, 11 December 2009


Text from me to my friend I was out with last night:

Is it bad that I can't remember getting home last night and have no idea where I got pizza but have a vague memory of talking about tomatoes?

Reply from my friend:

I was the same. I had a burger and chips in my bag when I woke up this morning.

Man, I was WRECKED . . .

Great night though!

What I remember of it . . .


This song sums up everything I ever wanted any ex, or sort-of-ex, to say to me . . .

Can you identify too?

Or do you have an even better song that I might identify with also?

Thursday, 10 December 2009


Okay, so I'm fully aware that some of you out there are still slap bang in the middle of Wednesday or, if you're in the UK like me, probably fast asleep but it's the early hours of Thursday morning and therefore I feel I can post my TMI Thursday now. 'Kay???

TMI Thursday

So I mentioned last week about how I used to work for directory enquiries and give out phone numbers to the public. It was booorrrriiiinnnng, and I used to take between 900 - 1200 calls a day. Usually closer to the higher figure as I was extremely good at my job, a very fast typist, and my boredom led me to treating each call like an opportunity to better my average time.

Amazingly I lasted there for nearly a year and a half before my patience gave out, but early on in my employment, I experienced a particularly memorable call . . .

It was just another normal, dull day when, approximately 500 calls into the day, I picked up this call. "Directory Enquiries, which name please?" I droned into the phone. It was always the same. At the beginning of the day, I would do my best to be perky and upbeat, injecting enthusiasm into those five words. By about midway through, I had lost the energy to even try anymore, and my voice was starting to hurt. Hence the monotone.

There was a silence in response to my greeting. "Directory Enquiries, which name please?" I repeated, more sharply. I didn't have patience for someone slow - that would TOTALLY drag down my average call time.

Once again, no one replied. But suddenly I heard, on the other end of the line, some very heavy breathing. And then the caller - clearly a male - started to make loud groaning noises.

Okay, so I'm a little naive. But I had a mild suspicion that this was a dodgy phone call.

On the other hand, I was also reluctant to hang up.

Mainly because I was worried the dude was actually groaning in PAIN and had phoned directories instead of the emergency number in his panic. It HAS happened before and given that the 999 team were on the other side of the building, I would have never forgiven myself had I hung up on someone who was having a heart attack or something like that.

But also part of me wanted to see what happened. Because I'm sick like that.

So even though the guy wouldn't speak to me, and kept moaning and groaning, I stayed on the line. Every so often, just to check, I would say "Sir? Are you okay? Do you need me to put you through to the emergency number?" but he wouldn't reply. Just kept moaning. It got to the point where I started to wonder if he had actually sat on his phone or something and didn't even realise I was there.

After about two minutes of this, he let out one last gasp. Then there was a pause.

And then, in a Northern England accent, he finally spoke.

"Thank you, pet."


Yup. I had been victim of a dirty phone call where the guy had been - ahem - pleasuring himself down the phone to me. And he had evidently really enjoyed it.

And secretly, I think I had known all along. I just had really wanted a good anecdote to tell my colleagues, and that was why I had stayed on the line.

I can't help but think I should have got a much better rate per hour after that call though... ;)


I don't imagine LiLu's TMI post will be up for a while given that it will still be Wednesday in her world, but why not pop by later on today to see what other awesome TMI's have been served up this week . . .

Tuesday, 8 December 2009


Since I'm dry on inspiration today having worked that damn ten and a half hour shift then headed straight to my friend's flat to help her with some maths and verbal reasoning tests (therefore my brain is fried!), I will pose to you a question that a colleague of mine randomly posed to me this afternoon. Which possibly made my brain more fried than it already was.

If you could have a three course meal of your choice - right now - what would it be?

You can mix and match cuisines, it can be as boring or as outrageous as you want.

I'll start. And I have given this A LOT of thought . . .

STARTER - Either deep fried mozzarella sticks OR (yes I'm being a wuss because I can't decide) or bruschetta con funghi from Pizza Express. In fact, can I just HAVE both??? ;)

MAIN - roast chicken, potatoes (both roast AND mashed), gravy, stuffing, yorkshire puddings, cauliflower and brocolli.

DESSERT - hot chocolate fudge cake with cream.

(All washed down with some sparkling rose wine, of course!)

Oooooh, the calories!!! But oh so sinfully delicious at the same time . . .

Your turn??? ;)

Monday, 7 December 2009


So . . . I've not done a Cheer-Me-Up Tuesday in a couple of weeks now and even though I know it's NOT Tuesday, I felt like doing one early this week. Mainly because I had a fairly shitty day today and also because my Tuesday is bound to be worse considering I will be doing the 6.40am until 5.15pm shift tomorrow - a killer if ever there was. Thank God I only have to do that a couple of times a year, that's all I can say!!!

Anyway, here is this week's Cheer-Me-Up Tuesday choice . . . a day early!!! I can't help but laugh everytime I watch it so hopefully you'll enjoy it too and if you're had a crappy Monday it will help to improve it. I aim to please, people!!! ;)

Sunday, 6 December 2009


On Thursday night, I decided to go shopping after work. Mainly to buy an umbrella, but also to do some Christmas shopping.

I ended up coming home minus a new umbrella and minus any presents for anyone else, but with some new bedcovers and cushions, loads of make-up and a pair of pretty ballet pumps.

Here they are:

Pretty, huh???

Oooh, is that a tiny bit of toe cleavage I see on the right hand side of the picture? What a SLUT . . .

Not only are they pretty AND comfy, they also cost me a mere six quid from bargain-licious Primark. Woohoo!!!

But the best compliment I've had about them so far is from my friend's six year old son.

Who said the following:

"Paula, your shoes are so beautiful I could EAT them."

Word to the wise though . . . if anyone eats my pretty shoes, I am going to be VERY upset.

I don't CARE how beautiful you find them . . . keep your mouth OFF them!!!!


Thursday, 3 December 2009


TMI Thursday

***"Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!"
LiLu, pretty much any given Thursday . . . :)

Years ago, I used to work for directory enquiries. I'm sure I mentioned this before. It's not particularly interesting. When I started working there though, I was in a training group of about fourteen or fifteen people. Around ten of the group were male and, by the end of my first six months or so there, about half of those guys had asked me out at some point. Including a guy who was married.

I'd never been so popular with guys in my life (with the possible exception of the past six months or so) - I can only assume female "talent" in the office was thin on the ground.

Anyway, one of the guys who HADN'T asked me out became a good friend. Although sometimes . . . I got that "vibe" from him. You know, the vibe where you think "he likes me". The way he looked at me sometimes. Or the fact he subscribed very much to that whole "pulling pigtails in the playground" mentality. Since I wasn't remotely interested in him in that way though, I tried to ignore it, and hoped it would go away.

A couple of weeks later, a couple of us from work went out for drinks in Glasgow city centre on a Friday night. There was me, the guy I just mentioned, one of my friends from uni (who had just so happened to be in town) and another girl I worked with. This girl . . . how do I describe her? She was nice enough . . . but, MAN, she was hard work. Like I couldn't complain about anything because she always was more hard-done-by than I was . . . according to her. One of my other colleagues used to call her "The Poison Dwarf", which I thought was pretty harsh, most of the time. (But it makes a good pseudonym for the purpose of this blog so I will continue to use it all the same...)

On top of that, she liked the guy who liked me. And very much seemed to hold that against me - although she tried to pretend she didn't. Sometimes . . .

So that night we all got pretty drunk and The Poison Dwarf became very paranoid. At one point we went to the loos together and she decided the guy was about to get off with my friend. I assured her nothing could be further from the truth. But when my friend left, she visibly perked up. She next suggested we would go to an Italian restaurant owned by friends of her family. I wasn't really that hungry - I was that level of drunkenness where I no longer cared if I ever ate again so long as there was more alcohol. But I was also at the level where I couldn't be bothered objecting. So off we went to the restaurant where, to the Poison Dwarf's mortification, I ALLEGEDLY virtually fell asleep in my plate of spaghetti carbonara.

But I must have managed to eat SOME of it . . .

We called it a night after the meal and I made to head to Glasgow Central station for my train back to my folk's, where I lived at the time. TPD was heading in the opposite direction, to Queen Street station. The guy was heading for a bus stop which could have been in EITHER direction. Much to TPD's disgust, he chose to head in MY direction. I could see her shooting me what she must have assumed was covert dirty looks. Considering I'm never particularly observant, AND was wasted and still noticed them, they couldn't have been THAT covert.

Anyway, me and this guy had been walking for about two minutes, with me drunkenly rambling (and desperately hoping he wouldn't try and make a move) when suddenly I FELT it. That horrible sinking feeling where your stomach starts rising, the contents of it heading for fresh air via your mouth. I stopped suddenly on the side of the street.

"I think . . . " I murmured, swaying from side to side slightly. "I think I'm going to be si . . ."

Too late. The spaghetti carbonara I had barely digested came back up. Mainly on the street, but some of it landed on the guy's shoes. Much to my utter mortification. Worse, I'd apparently been swallowing spaghetti whole as strands of it were getting stuck in my throat on the way back out and I was actually having to physically PULL them out. Yuck.

(That was the TMI bit of the post by the way - in case you hadn't guessed. Reading about puke is NEVER nice. And for that, I apologise.)

(I also apologise it took me so long to get to the point...)

I was completely embarrassed by my drunken behaviour. Who cared that I didn't fancy this guy, that didn't mean I wanted to make an utter fool of myself in front of him and PUKE on him!!! Weirdly enough though, he just laughed.

And about two weeks later, he asked me out.

I still said no.

But apparently, puking on a guy proved in this case to ADD to my attractiveness.

Probably best NOT to try this as a pulling technique though. It's probably a little risky . . .

Tuesday, 1 December 2009


I know I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here but the past few days I've been thinking about New Year and what I'm going to do for it.

The thing is . . . I HATE New Year. I'm one of those people who is all about Christmas. New Year . . . it doesn't really mean much to me. It's just a date. I don't get presents. I can get drunk any night I like - unless I'm on medication or something like that - so there's nothing special about it in that respect. If you go out somewhere, it costs about three times the usual price to be squashed in a corner and feel under pressure to snog someone's face off at midnight just to make the money worth it - and so as not to feel like a loser.

Plus, it's WINTER. It's FREEZING!!! Who wants to be out in that???

Best New Year's I've had in my life? The past three.

2006/2007 - Me and my friend V got drunk in her flat and danced all night to the music channels. I nearly broke my thighs doing the stupid "Hung Up" Madonna dance.
2007/2008 - Me and my boyfriend at the time got drunk in my flat, watched silly Youtube videos followed by crappy Hogmana'ay tv and ate Pizza Hut starters.
2008/2009 - Me, two of my flatmates, one of their boyfriends and one of my best male friends got drunk in our kitchen.

All awesome nights. Despite being fairly uneventful.

The only year I actually went OUT out at New Year was, I believe, 2002/2003, where I started off at a party in someone's flat but somehow ended up outside in the Merchant City, freezing my tits off and thoroughly confused because I snogged a guy (the one who thought my boobs were boring) for the second time, but it was right after he'd snogged his gay male flatmate. This was followed by it starting to piss down with rain, me feeling sick because I'd drank WAAAAYYYY too much, and me waking over on my friend's couch the following morning with the hangover from hell.

So I don't really fancy going out this year.

But, on the other hand, I don't really fancy staying in either.

I'll have to make up my mind, and start making a definite plan soon though. It's getting ever closer . . .

I think this has officially been the quickest year of my life.

Does anyone else have plans for New Year yet???

Monday, 30 November 2009


I will fully admit to a lot of things I'm not good at . . . and one of the main ones is speaking in front of people. Even telling a joke or recounting something that happened to me earlier that day is something I can't always do well. I get nervous and start to stammer and forget what I was saying midway through. I've always been far better at expressing my feelings, telling stories via the written word than the spoken word. Back in high school, in English it would always be my presentation skills that would bring me down; in French, I was better at writing in another language than speaking it. But even as a child, I always had confidence in my ability to write. On top of that, I was the only seven year old in my class who could write in paragraphs.

But now . . . even my writing skills don't feel up to par. I think of something i want to write and, in my head, it is epic. But then . . . when I try to put it into real words, it somehow gets lost in translation. I know exactly what I WANT to say . . . but I just can't seem to communicate it the way I want to. It feels fake, flat, dead. It feels like I'm FORCING it. I feel like I'm forcing it. I hate that.

I've been experiencing blogger envy on a daily basis. I am jealous of those who can communicate ideas I have in my head, but can't seem to express in writing - Princess Pointful is one who springs to mind in this instance, or this post by Chele. Or those like LiLu and Maxie who have this amazing ability to find humour in even the smallest of situations - and manage to actually express it so you feel like you were THERE. Or just about anyone on my blog roll who can make my day in seconds, or sum up exactly what I'm feeling, when I can't do so myself.

Last week I went to see 2012, and I wanted to write a review afterwards. In my head, once again, the review was absolutely incredible. I knew everything I wanted to talk about, the points I wanted to get across . . . But I just wasn't happy with the finished result.

What is wrong with me? I used to read things I wrote and I felt like I had some promise there. I can still see the promise in the old stuff. But these days I just find myself . . . well a bit lacking, to be honest.

Is it just that I'm so disillusioned with the real world that I've lost my ability to be creative the way I want to be? That I just lack the energy to TRY anymore?

They say words can't hurt you. But I kinda feel like they've turned on me now . . .

Sunday, 29 November 2009


I am waaayyy behind on my Christmas shopping this year.

Usually, I've bought the majority of my presents by now. This year . . . not so much.

A couple of things I've bought so far . . .

From amazon . . . a really cool Lolita martini glass . . .

A snug rug . . .
Another Lolita glass, this time a wine one. Pretty. :)

From Ollie & Nic, a pretty necklace . . .

Of course, I think I've kind of fallen into my usual pattern of buying things I want for MYSELF, rather than considering what the other people want. Oh dear.

Some other things I'm planning to buy . .

A USB Negative Scanner for my dad - the link is for the firebox site but I'm pretty sure I can get it cheaper elsewhere.
A chocolate fondue gift set for one of my friends.
I love the idea of these cocktails in a pouch but they seem pretty expensive for what they are.

And I'd kinda like this for myself . . . Slush puppy, anyone??

Anyone else had any good ideas for Christmas presents? If you've seen anything that looks interesting, that might help give me some inspiration, please feel free to give me some links... Pretty jewelery, strange gadgets, books that would make good gifts . . . come on people!!! Throw me a bone here . . . ;)