Monday, 15 December 2008

MY SECRET VICE . . .

. . . I like to name inanimate objects. Is that weird???

Once upon a time, my slippers had names. I always got the two of them confused though. I don't think they were very happy about that. They never said anything but I just got that vibe from them. Also, I tripped up a lot while wearing them. Coincidence??? I think not.

I have a fluffy cushion on my bed named "Thumper". It's the only cushion I've ever named. Do you think the other cushions feel left out???

I can't drive. Never even had a lesson. But I would love to own a car purely so I could christen it. (And by this I don't mean have sex in it and/or pee on it). I love the idea of naming the car. Since I don't have one, I like to get my kicks by helping to name other people's cars. Whether they want their car to have a name or not . . .

To assess its colour and personality and decide on a name would be soooo much fun. Should it be male or female? A plain name or a . . . COLOURFUL one? I don't have the first idea what I would call it. Much the same as I probably would be about naming a kid, should one ever be unlucky enough to come out of me.

Perhaps this is why I like to name things that probably SHOULDN'T have names? Because I really can't envision ever having kids myself to name?

Because, much like owning the car, the only thing I really WOULD want a kid for is to decide on its name . . .

Perhaps I could start a baby-naming service??? Yes!!! THAT can be my dream job . . .

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Also, thanks to Meghan at Blog Voyeur Turned Blogwhore for my lovely virtual Christmas present . . . if only it were real!

8 comments:

  1. Okay, so my car is named Conan. And while that's the only name I can think of off-hand, I also know that I refer to a lot of stuff as "him" "guy" etc. Like, my toaster oven, when it holds my bagels hostage, always gets a "what're you doing there guy?" and sometimes I see purses or cars and say things like "ooh, he's pretty"--most of my inan. objects are male. I'm not sure what that's about....

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  2. i have a coat i call my harry potter coat because it is lined in this magical blue satin material that reminds me of a cloak. does that count as naming an inanimate object?

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  3. My car is a male and he's called Sulley (Sullivan if he's naughty ;p). I even kiss him goodbye ... okay, not like that! I mean I kiss my hand and pat him! *blushes*

    I'll go now!

    PS: I can't believe you don't have names for children! Mine will *hate* me for theirs ... I mean, look at my character names! ;p

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  4. Everyone I know names inanimate objects. Maybe I just know a bunch of weird people, though.

    I have some fun kid names planned out, but they could all work as dog names, so I'm ready for wherever life takes me. ;)

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  5. I named my car, too. He's called Schmendrick. :)

    When I was little, I was convinced that everything had feelings. So, while I dind't name everything, I was always careful not to step on leaves or to make sure that I said goodnight to all my toys and figurines. I was a weird kid.

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  6. Mmmm..I don't know whether I have ever christened something which wasn't a teddy bear...my computer was to have a funny name, but I can't remember...I do change my dog's name from time to time..my mother gets pretty upset :P

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  7. Let's be honest. You'd have sex in the car.

    I don't think I've ever really named an inanimate object. I'm lucky I named my dog. It could just be "Hey. You. Stop peeing."

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  8. omg. I could totally use your naming service. (I've got the future baby thing covered) As a kid, all my stuffed animals had names like Little Bear, Bunny, etc... Nothing creative. My first car? Rabbit. Bc it's a Rabbit. lame i know.

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