Sunday, 14 December 2008

JOBS I COULDN'T DO . . .

* a masseuse - I'm not really a touchy-feely person, especially not when it comes to complete strangers.

*a travel agent - I would be full of holiday envy and trying to send people to places I knew were crap just to make myself feel better.

*an athlete - running up the stairs in work gets me out of breath . . . and that's ONE FLIGHT!!!

*a chiropodist - feet . . . EW!!!

*an actress - I can't cry on demand. (I can cry whenever I don't WANT to though . . . Just out of interest, is there such a job as professional crybaby???)

*a teacher - talking in front of people (even kids) would freak me out. plus it's waaayyyy too much responsibility knowing I am meant to be TEACHING them about stuff that could possibly shape their future.

*a doctor - I can't even watch scary movies because of blood and gore. to look at stuff like that on a daily basis and NOT be able to hide behind a cushion, quaking??? no, i don't think that one is going to work somehow.

*a nurse - see previous point.

*a personal trainer - motivate someone else to be fit/do exercise regularly when I can't even motivate myself? Yeah, there's a plan.

*a spy - i can't speak any other languages (save for some basic French), can't lie for shit, and can't kick ass. ie. I'm no Jennifer Garner.

*a waitress - I have serious issues with touching dirty plates that are not my own. And there's a VERY slight possibility I would feel the need to yell at people who were rude. And if not YELL, then spit in their food . . .

*a fashion designer - everything would be pink. I've heard not everyone LIKES pink, so this could prove to be a slight problem.

*a lawyer - waaayyyyy too much jargon to remember. Plus isn't that another career where you have to talk in front of other people? A LOT???

*a model - I'm only five foot three. Because that is CLEARLY the only thing stopping me becoming the new Gisele . . . ;)

*an accountant - I might actually be okay at this one, believe it or not. I got a B in Higher Accounts & Finance. However, I think I would be bored of it pretty quickly.

*a vet - there's too many animals I'm afraid of. This also eliminates the possibility of me being Noah, I guess . . .

*a judge on a reality tv show - I'm not good at telling people they're rubbish to their face.


I've ran out of occupations I think, I've racked my brain and I think I'm done. Anyone got any other suggestions I can pessimistically knock down??? Please feel free to suggest some more!

13 comments:

  1. The bit about crying only when you don't want to made me laugh. I'm the same way! It's so annoying. I really don't have any recommendations, though.

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  2. I love this post! Especially the image of you as a travel agent sending people to crappy places :-)

    Oh, and the hiding behind cushions quaking. I can deal with gore in films, but in real life I get light-headed when people just tell me about their banged knee...

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  3. personal shopper? that's my dream occupation.

    and this "a model - I'm only five foot three. Because that is CLEARLY the only thing stopping me becoming the new Gisele" made me LOL.

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  4. those are a lot of things you wouldn't do!!!!! :P
    anyway...feet? eugh, dirt dishes, eww...eww eww!
    You're taller than me...grr.

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  5. Want my call centre job??

    Miss Em x

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  6. Hmmm - how about a debt collector? Would you want to be one those?!

    I definitely agree on the chiropodist one - I HATE feet - and the waitress one too!

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  7. Hmmm - how about a debt collector? Would you want to be one those?!

    I definitely agree on the chiropodist one - I HATE feet - and the waitress one too!

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  8. If you could get over the telling to their face part I think you'd make a great reality TV judge!! You are very good at putting your opinion down in your blog, and it's hillarious!!

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  9. Mine is probably a mother, id forget about them in their pram outside the pub...!

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  10. LOL, I love this list. You're so cute. And being a teacher isn't so bad.

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  11. "This also eliminates the possibility of me being Noah, I guess . . ." hahahahaha!


    Also...I'd add nanny to the list. Goes along w/the point about teaching. No good comes from molding young lives--at least not if they aren't your own! If I were a nanny, all the kids would have SERIOUS road rage!

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  12. Oh man! And I really wanted to be Noah too! But you're right, I wouldn't want to be near the lions. Totally agree on the feet thing too- and I for one can never understand what makes people sign up to be gynocologists in medical school either!

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  13. Oh, oh! I thought of another one - undertaker? Could you do that?! :s

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