Wednesday, 3 December 2008

IT'S ALREADY TOMORROW BUT I'M STILL STUCK IN TODAY . . .

Stereophonics was AWESOME!

Yes, that's me just home. Unfortunately it was a bit late for us to make the final train, let alone the final subway and hard to get a taxi, so we had to walk halfway home before managing to hail one.

Anyway, yeah it was FABULOUS! Kelly Jones sounded (and looked!) amazing. I sung and screamed myself virtually hoarse, possibly caused long term damage to my knees by using them to create a drumroll effect on the floor, my hands sting from clapping and I think I actually strained muscles in my stomach from the shouting too! There was also a HILARIOUS dude in our block of seats who was taking the whole concept of audience participation a little too far and standing up pretending to play guitar for the majority of the gig. Effin' FANTASTIC. I couldn't help but giggle at that.

It is also fun to laugh at the people standing when you see the cups of beer flying up in the air. Although my sister was down in the standing part of the gig and I kept thinking "man, if she gets covered in beer, someone WILL die."

Did I mention that Kelly Jones looked hot? (I think perhaps we all already know my feelings on Mr Jones from this post. I think the two songs I posted on that post, Superman and Dakota (the latter of which was the final song) were definitely two of the highlights of my night, along with this..

It was a great night and I felt on a total high by the end of it. Now that I'm home though, I feel kinda sad. I should be sleeping but I'm just too wired up. I can't stop thinking about stuff, my mind simply won't stop working long enough for me to shut down.

I'm not really a gig kinda girl, to be honest. I guess the only time I've really attended a lot of them was when I was with my ex. So that made me a bit sad thinking about that.

Not because I want to be back with him. (The ship has sailed, the bridge has burned, and every other shitty metaphor you can think of . . . )

But just because sometimes I miss his friendship so much.

I thought for a while, a couple of months back, that we were finally getting to a place where we COULD be friends. Then I went on holiday and when I came back it had all changed again. I don't know what happened or why he suddenly just STOPPED being my friend again. But it happened. And it really hurt my feelings, because although it was baby steps and was only that there seemed to be a bit more warmth between us, I genuinely thought we both WANTED to be friends again. I just couldn't get my head around the fact it was being taken away from me again.

I guess ultimately I just felt like I had been used, whether that was the case or not. I was angry about that but now . . .I'm just sad. I don't understand what I'm meant to have done; I thought finally we'd had some sort of breakthrough. I hate bad feeling and given I already have that with ONE ex, I didn't particularly want it with the other one. But for some reason, that is what seems to have happened. And, to be honest, I'm gutted.

I miss the easy friendship we shared, the fact we could make each other laugh with the silliest of things. I would have loved to have given being friends another go . . . but he doesn't seem to want that. In fact, he seems to go out of his way to make sure he has as little contact with me as possible. Meybe it's wrong for me to expect things to just run smooth but, heck, he was one of my best friends before.

I guess sometimes there's times when you try and try to make something right and ultimately it works out and you manage to sort it out. But I guess you also have to know when to cut your losses. If he doesn't want to be my friend, I guess i can't make him. Simple as that.

Life just sucks sometimes.

And on that optimistic note, I leave you. Feeling a bit higher again now i've got that out. And I DO recommend you go to see Stereophonics if you ever get the opportunity. They truly ARE awesome live.

(And I did I mention Kelly Jones is hot???)

(Lol)

6 comments:

  1. I admire you Polly for trying to keep your friendship with them, really. I don't miss my ex boyfriends except for one, we were really good friends, and I sometimes regret having been his girlfriend for like two years :( that totally screwed things up.

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  2. i am ALL about the unrequited crushes these days!!! glad you had fun!

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  3. I know what you mean, it is a shame to lose such a great a friendship.

    However, if each time you try you are being dragged back down to being upset again, it might not be worth it. I've tried real hard to stay friends with my ex, and he's said something to upset me each time we've spoken.

    A colleague drunkenly passed me some words of wisdom the other night. He said that when he broke up with his girlfriend she also began to use the friendship as a means of undercutting his feelings and the relationship they once had, and after a while he realised something. He was having a lot of fun pissing about with his mates, he didn’t need her, and he no longer really enjoyed chatting to her. Each time they spoke, the relationship, in some way, was brought up again, and it just wasn't good for him.

    You're right - sometimes you really do have to just cut your losses, even if you don't want to.

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  4. So let me get this right ... Kelly Jones ... he's not too shabby, huh!? :p

    Men are strange - that's all I can contribute, I'm afraid. Oh, apart from Kelly Jones of course!

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  5. Kelly Jones ? yes please!

    Also, you have to let go of toxic friendships - if the hurt outweighs the happy, its time to move on....

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  6. It's weird when those weird, sad ex moments snipe you from out of nowhere.

    You can't ever predict them.

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