Wednesday, 3 December 2008

ICE ICE BABY . . .

The thing I hate most about Scotland is probably the weather. Particularly in winter.

You know, despite the fact we were the first country to go in "The Day After Tomorrow", it's actually not as cold here as some might think. But this week it's been trying to prove otherwise, believe you me.

As you already know, I had a bit of a fall on Monday, thanks to a random patch of ice.

Yesterday, things took a turn for the worse.

It's one thing coming across one or two random patches of ice. But what about when half of Glasgow is frozen over? And I'm not talking that virtually harmless ice (which was the type I slipped on). I'm talking slippery, can-barely-keep-your-footing, have-to-walk-on-the-road-and-risk-getting-hit-by-cars-cos-it's-safer-than-walking-on-the-icy-pavement ice. Sheet ice. Black ice. Invisible ice. The kind of ice that leaves you breaking out in a cold sweat as you try to navigate from one step to the next, knowing that each and every step could be your last . . . before you end up sprawled out on the pavement with people pointing and laughing around you.

My walk to work yesterday was one of the scariest walks to work I have ever had. Honestly.

It actually took me nearly an hour to do what is usually a forty minute walk. Mainly because I was taking these tiny, shuffling steps, almost as if I had my feet bound together. I didn't fall, but I had many near misses, skidding about, arms flailing. I must have been comedy viewing for those bastards all nice and warm inside their cars.

Arseholes.

What I REALLY don't get though is that the fact that you get a massive part of pavement covered in this evil ice, and then a completely normal bit. I'm assuming the pavement without ice must be made of something else. So . . . WHY THE FUCK DO WE NOT MAKE ALL PAVEMENTS OUT OF THE NO-ICE STUFF?? It's hardly rocket science, is it?

Anyway, by the time I reached the pedestrian footbridge where I met my match the day before, my nerves were already frayed. But oh my god, it was about to get much worse.

For before me lay . . . DA DA DUM!!! . . . Solid Ice Bridge!!!

Seriously, the bridge was like nothing I've ever seen before. I actually had to hold the railing for dear life the whole way across it. My feet were skittering about like I was a novice skater on first time on an ice rink, without the advantage of skates (btw, my UGG boots don't grip for shit). There was a girl a bit in front of me, clinging onto the same rail. As I navigated my way across the bridge, I notice she had stopped. For a rest, presumably. It was kind of a tiring journey, after all! But all I kept thinking was "she had better BLOODY MOVE HER ARSE PRETTY DAMN QUICK." After all, there was absolutely no way whatsoever that I was going to let go of the railing to get around her. I knew I wouldn't stay upright if I did. Luckily she started moving again. I made it to work unscathed but anytime I mentioned going across that bridge, people would be like "oh my god, were you ON that?" as if I'd just told them I had climbed Mount Everest (I haven't, by the way).

Perhaps I would make a good Arctic explorer???

Hmmm . . . perhaps not. That journey was tiring enough . . .

And for my Cheer-me-up-Tuesday contribution, I have managed to track down a link to a funny email that made me laugh last week. Go here.

And here's another one which made me laugh . . .

Hope you like! :)

17 comments:

  1. Thankfully, though, you weren't the only person with a hard time walking outside!

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  2. The Day After Tomorrow really did take it to you guys. And then it really took it to script writing and plausibility, but that's another issue.

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  3. ha, it's so weird that I actually envy your experience. I've never seen snow in my life, so, ice is like "wow!" to me. I'm serious about switching places, it's been raining here lately, but I swear it gets scorching! :P

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  4. So your Australian made boots couldn't stand up to ice?

    Strange that....

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  5. haha, i was laughing so hard imagining this slippery endeavor! i have been through the same thing for most of my life living in the midwestern united states, more specifically, wisconsin. i bet you got a good work out anyway :)

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  6. i have fallen so many times on ice in my life that its embarrassing

    i one time fell while laughing at someone else for falling.

    instant karma sucks

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  7. I can't even wrap my head around weather like that. In Philly we get some snow and some ice. Nothing like you describe.

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  8. If only they made stylish shoes with cleats on the bottom.

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  9. that spider email is the funniest thing I have read in such a long time, I remember reading it as well and I swear I laugh so hard every time I read it it is the best thing ever.

    as for icy surface..my mom used have these hilarious teeth like thing she used to have on her boots to dig into the ice so it wouldnt be as slippery

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  10. That was my yesterday, i recieved a text message to be careful and just as i was reading, oops! Managed to stay upright, just. Think it was the ice skating lessons as a child.

    Edinburgh today is like summer compared to yesterday - no snow :(

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  11. ha ha .. that's funny .. i'm sorry ..

    i mean thank God .. we've never had snow here in Saudi .. thu it looks romantic in pics n tv :)

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  12. I would have gone across that bridge on my knees!

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  13. YOU HAVE BEEN TAGGED ,, he he

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  14. Jesus! Does salting not work?

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  15. Oh holy lord! I was tense just reading about you having to cross that ice bridge! Ugh, there is nothing worse than totally wiping out on the ice--I did it last year and almost slammed my head off the bumper of the car. Although I was more amused than upset at the time, that changed when the whole right side of my body turned shades of purple.

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  16. yes! you so should become an arctic explorer! You could call it "me and my uggs against THE WORRLD!" I can even imagine a photo of you holding your uggs up high - like a trophy, oh yesss! What a concept!

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  17. Ugh...the weather in Scotland, I only lived there 4 years but I remember it only too well, wet, very windy and very cold...but on the positive side at least we had snow, unlike down here in the (more) south, where we have none! :o(

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