The other night I was walking into the city centre to meet my friend for the Stereophonics gig when I noticed something strange. One of the dudes walking in front of me had a disproportionately large bottom.
Not big. Well, not big, per se. Just big compared to the rest of his body.
To be honest, I don't spend a lot of time looking at guy's bottoms - not since sixth year of high school when a bunch of us were bored one day and tried to make a list of the top five nicest bums in our school. But most of that was done from memory rather than by staring at bottoms on repeat for ages.
But the whole ten minute walk into town, I could not stop staring at this guy's bum. I don't know why - I guess I'd never really thought about guys having bums that were too big for their bodies. I thought that was just a girl thing really. This guy was like the J-Lo of guy's behinds. Seriously.
I found myself wondering if he had a hang-up about it. I decided he probably didn't because he was wearing a short jacket that kinda cut him in two, and his work trousers were fairly tight too (yep, I'm painting a lovely picture here, right?) Part of me toyed with asking him but I knew I wouldn't really because 1) that would be weird, 2) he was a complete stranger and 3) if he hadn't noticed before, me asking about it would probably force him into a life of paranoia.
Perhaps it is best that he just lives in ignorant bliss of his problem. After all, I can't imagine anything scarier than a guy turning to me and saying "does my bum look big in this?"
It really just wouldn't be right.
But it HAS aroused my curiosity - has anyone else a guy with a bum too big for his body? Are any of YOU guys with out-of-proportion asses? Do you know someone who falls into this category, or have a friend of a friend of a friend who falls into the sample? Or just in general, DO guys ever worry about the size of their ass???
Just wondering . . .
On a side note, I've basically only heard this tune for the first time tonight . . . but for some reason it's one of those songs that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I'm probably behind the times as usual . . . I don't jump on the bandwagon, I wait until it knocks me over. But I like it a lot...