Thursday, 4 December 2008

A.N. ARSE . . .

The other night I was walking into the city centre to meet my friend for the Stereophonics gig when I noticed something strange. One of the dudes walking in front of me had a disproportionately large bottom.

Not big. Well, not big, per se. Just big compared to the rest of his body.

To be honest, I don't spend a lot of time looking at guy's bottoms - not since sixth year of high school when a bunch of us were bored one day and tried to make a list of the top five nicest bums in our school. But most of that was done from memory rather than by staring at bottoms on repeat for ages.

But the whole ten minute walk into town, I could not stop staring at this guy's bum. I don't know why - I guess I'd never really thought about guys having bums that were too big for their bodies. I thought that was just a girl thing really. This guy was like the J-Lo of guy's behinds. Seriously.

I found myself wondering if he had a hang-up about it. I decided he probably didn't because he was wearing a short jacket that kinda cut him in two, and his work trousers were fairly tight too (yep, I'm painting a lovely picture here, right?) Part of me toyed with asking him but I knew I wouldn't really because 1) that would be weird, 2) he was a complete stranger and 3) if he hadn't noticed before, me asking about it would probably force him into a life of paranoia.

Perhaps it is best that he just lives in ignorant bliss of his problem. After all, I can't imagine anything scarier than a guy turning to me and saying "does my bum look big in this?"

It really just wouldn't be right.

But it HAS aroused my curiosity - has anyone else a guy with a bum too big for his body? Are any of YOU guys with out-of-proportion asses? Do you know someone who falls into this category, or have a friend of a friend of a friend who falls into the sample? Or just in general, DO guys ever worry about the size of their ass???

Just wondering . . .

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On a side note, I've basically only heard this tune for the first time tonight . . . but for some reason it's one of those songs that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I'm probably behind the times as usual . . . I don't jump on the bandwagon, I wait until it knocks me over. But I like it a lot...

16 comments:

  1. I've been told I have a "bubble butt".

    But I get it as a compliment. So I take it. And I work it.

    Snaps.

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  2. Would be cliched and/or inappropriate of me to make a Sir Mix A Lot reference here?

    Yeah...probably.

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  3. Haha, I don't know if I've ever seen a guy with a bitt that's too big. Maybe because normally, their pants are a little looser. I guess I HAVE noticed a guy's butt being on the larger side if his pants are worn more tightly, but it's not something I usually notice.

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  4. My brother!!!! not that I look at my brother's bum, but well, yeah, it's my brother you bunch of pervs! Anyway, my classmates at high school would always bother me with things like "Hey Anto, your brother had such a cute bum. How is it that you don't have one like his?" jackasses!

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  5. This is horrible but...at my great grandma's funeral one of the pall bearers(sp?)had the largest behind I have ever seen on a man. He was in a military uniform so his pants were very fitted. It was years ago and the only thing I remember from the funeral.

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  6. A guy at my high school sort of did--it was bubbly. I didn't think it was weirdly proportioned on him, because he had huge shoulders and stuff for balance, but people talked about it a lot.

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  7. kings of leon rock, I mean I am in love with sex on fire...such a sexy song.

    I too had a guy in high school who had the most bubbly behind ever, he was a black man so it did suit him, but id was such a bubble. he sort of walked like donald duck, seriously

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  8. LOL you are hilarious and I know EXACTLY what you are talking about! There was this guy who went to my high school and he had a huge, WIDE, ass, but the rest of his body was average, but he wore high/semi tight jeans and it was SO distracting. And unattractive. lol.

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  9. Tut tut, I am appalled - modern technology!! You should have taken a photo so we could assess this for ourselves. :p Saying that, you might not have made it see the Stereophonics!

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    ReplyDelete
  11. I have seen a lot of nice man butts in my time, I do look on a regular basis.. but cannot say I have seen a man ass that looks too big compared to the rest of his body. v.strange o.O

    I have however seen ginormous asses before but they are usually carried by equally ginormous people xx

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  12. My friend and his two brothers have the big butt male curse. He is pretty sensitive about it, and def knows its there. Bad genetics I guess.

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  13. Can you please go back and find him and ask him how he got his bum so large? It's one of my life goals to get some more ba-dunk-a-dunk in my trunk.

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  14. people come in different shapes .. what you saw is hardly considered the weirdest thu ..

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  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  16. Honestly, I think I've only dated men with remarkably proportional butts... not by any specific intention...

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