Thursday, 9 October 2008

RAGE IN SO MANY PLACES . . .

I can't believe how many times I managed to get angry today. Weirdly enough, most of it happened in the past couple of hours. For once, my main place of rage (the office) was actually relatively rage-free for me. Which is odd. Yesterday afternoon we had a department bonding session/ update meeting, followed by a free meal at India Quay and several few drinks, followed by a few of us going to a pub called Black Sparrow, culminating in me not even remembering GETTING home last night and waking up this morning hungover and exhausted and going into an office that was pretty understaffed for most of the day (NOT due to hangovers, I might add! There was a lot going on.)

But weirdly enough, once I got passed the intense headache and the pain of staring at a screen when my eyes dearly wanted to be shut and experiencing R.E.M., I actually liked the challenge. I felt like I got more of a chance to prove myself capable; that fact I don't often feel like I get the opportunity to do this is probably one of the things that usually gets to me. So the office wasn't an unhappy place for me today. I know, you're amazed. But there you go . . .

Here's the things that DID enrage or upset me:

*****MY SHOP ASSISTANT STALKER*****

Since I had my 25 pound Warehouse gift voucher I decided to nip into town after work and spend it. I DO like to spend, what can I say! So you know the times you go into a shop and find yourself being stalked by the security guard, like they think you are a common thief and need to keep an eye on you? Well, the shop assistant stalker is similar in nuisance levels, but can actually AFFECT your shopping more, which is what truly frustrates me. I was just wandering the shop, approaching a rack of clothes that caught my eye, flicking casually through . . . and the shop assistant would appear next to me, clutching a heap of clothes she was returning from the changing room rack. And OF COURSE the item of clothing she was trying to return at that precise moment, WAS EXACTLY THE ITEM OF CLOTHING I WAS LOOKING AT as I flipped through my potential purchases. So she would stand there for a minute, hovering, while I pretended to ignore her and tried to concentrate on whether or not lacy frills would suit me (probably not!) and then eventually she would give up waiting . . . and just get in my way. No apologies, no "excuse me, please" . . . Nothing.

I did a loud "I cannot believe you just did that" sigh and stalked to a rack a safe distance away from her. You know what happened, right? Yep, approximately twenty seconds later, I could hear her breathing behind me. I'm actually amazed I didn't leave . . . but, remember, I had free money!

I ended up buying a beautiful bag (seriously, check it out, it's sooo nice!). After all, people don't tend to take bags to the changing room to try on. She didn't have one of those to put back to annoy me. But I'm sure if she could have, she would have . . .

*****TUBE ARSEHOLE*****

I don't get people who don't understand and abide by the unspoken rules of subway etiquette. The main rule? That you don't push ON to a train before everyone else who wants to get off has got off. I learned this lesson BIGTIME a couple of years back when I made the mistake of getting on the Glasgow underground just as a Rangers game was starting at Ibrox. Oh god, it was a nightmare, I was trying to get off at Buchanan Street while the chanting fans were trying to get on and I honestly thought I was going to end up getting stampeded. I broke two nails and punched a couple of people (luckily it was so busy no one knew it was me).

Anyway, after buying my bag and picking up a birthday present for my friend, I decided it was logical to hop on the subway. Since I've been a regular user of it for ten years, I consider myself a bit of an expert. For example, at many stations, I know exactly where to stand so that when the train stops, I will be right next to the door. Not in FRONT of it, to the SIDE of it. That way I don't have to move out of the way to let the people off, they can get off without any hassle from me, then I can quickly slide into their space.

So I'm standing there, minding my own business, listening to train approach, when once again, I feel a presence beside me. Some tiny blonde girl (tinier AND blonder than me - bitch!) was in my personal space. Grrr. The train stopped, a couple of people went to get off . . . and she tried to push around me. Oh no you don't, girl. Suddenly having a couple of bags came in handy, as I used them to block her from getting past while the remaining guy got off the train. I could tell she was pissed off, but I was more annoyed since I'd been standing waiting there for four minutes and she wasn't long onto the platform. She made the mistake of sitting opposite me, looking pissed off. I did a long loud "how rude!" sigh and looked pointedly away. And then made sure I jumped up at our stop (because OF COURSE she was getting off at the same stop) before she could. Ha.

*****ESCALATOR IDIOT*****

Common sense - and the signs on the side of escalators - dictate "please stand on the right". Can people not READ??? Have they never BEEN on an escalator before? It amazes me how many people fuck this one up.

Case in point: the girl who was on the escalator in front of me when I was emerging from Hillhead underground, still fuming from my encounters with Shop Assistant Stalker and Tube Arsehole. She was with a guy - who WAS standing on the right, I'm assuming just by coincidence as surely if he had some knowledge of escalators he would have WARNED her to move out of the way.

The thing is, I was in no hurry, and I had no intention of trying to get past. It's the principle of the matter. She was standing a step behind the guy she was with, not even alongside him. People on the left of me WERE trying to get past. And it's one of those situations where you yourself ARE abiding by the rules but because of your proximity to the event, you look like you're PART OF IT. Very frustrating.

When they left the escalator, both the girl and the guy thoughtfully did all they could to get in everyone's way. How nice of them . . .

****AND FINALLY, DYING SHOES . . .*****

Me and my silver ballet pumps have been through a lot. Considering they cost me a mere six quid from Primark, they have lasted a remarkable seven months and they've helped me walk far easier than shoes I've had in the past.

They've been to many places with me. Gran Canaria, Torrevieja, London, Belfast, Dublin, Barcelona. I really wanted to let them experience Fuerteventura too.

The thing is, they've been on their last legs (no pun intended) for quite some time now. They are literally falling apart. Everytime they get wet - which is often, this is SCOTLAND, after all! - they fall apart a little bit more. I tried to replace them with a new pair but they didn't seem to stock them anymore. So I kept hanging onto them, like a bad relationship you can't quite bring yourself to end because you like the familiarity.

And on my walk home from the tube, I really thought I had lost them. Two days before my trip. I actually thought they might be dissolving. I've got them on the radiator right now, trying to nurse them back to health. It'll be a temporary solution, granted, but I'm just hoping they have a little bit more life in them yet.

Hang on little shoes . . . The sunshine in FV will maybe make you happy again. Just like your owner . . . :)

11 comments:

  1. Soak in that anger...then you'll either become a tragically moving poet or an arch nemesis in a batman movie.

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  2. I'm sending you some Xanax...hold tight!

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  3. I hate those people (all three you described)! I love that you actually managed to stop Tube Arsehole from pushing past! You rock!

    And great bag :-)

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  4. It is your *right* to seriously hurt Tube-idiots!

    Hope your shoes make it to (and through) FV!

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  5. 1. Your right - your bag is too cute!
    2. I also hate escalator idiots. Although, here in Australia, we stand on the left, so if i were in SCotland maybe i'd BE the idiot.
    3. I'm wishing your shoes a speedy recovery. Hold tight, little ballet pumps!

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  6. I was all ready to join in your anger (because, why not?), but you have Janet Jackson's "Again" playing on your "My Sounds." I love that whole album. Now I'm in a good mood.

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  7. I had a rage-y day, too! AND my favorite flats are totally dead. I need to find good ones to replace them. Sigh.

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  8. love the bag.
    I hate shop assistants, the ones that follow you around like flies. Arrrggghh makes me walk out of the store

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  9. oh my gosh, i FEEL ya! seriously, i hate rude people. i especially hate rude people who then scowl and glare at you like you did something wrong. similar to the subway thing, i have a ton of a-holes in building who rush in to the elevator before i've had the chance to get off forcing me to awkwardly shove and trip my way through them...annoying!

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  10. Ooohh I loved this- love the rants. People can be so dumb! I don't understand it!! And by now you're on vacay...hope you're having a wonderful time!

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