Tuesday, 2 September 2008

"WHEN HARRY MET SALLY" TOTALLY GOT IT WRONG . . .


There are a lot of things that seriously fuck me off (as you already know!) but one thing that really gets my goat (apart from that saying, naturally!) is when people add two and two, come up with some completely insane number like 1523 and then run with it. So idle gossip spreads and people find themselves getting talked about for the wrong reasons; reasons, I may add, that aren't even true.

The main thing that seems to happen in my experience is when two people are gossiped about purely for being friends. Of course, this tends to be more to do with the genders involved. Same sex friendships seem to be okay. But if a girl and boy are involved . . . all reasoning apparently goes out of the window.

So let's break it down a little here:

Why being friends with a guy is GOOD:

***You get a guy's perspective on things, which is always useful. And tends to be completely different from a girl's perspective. It's kind of like getting a teensy bit of an insight into a guy's mind.

***There's no competitiveness and bitchiness with one another. Like it or not, this has a tendency to happen within the confines of a girl friendship (and I guess the same is true in a different way of guy friendships).

Why being friends with a guy is BAD:

***People take it the wrong way. It seems that its not actually permitted for a girl and a guy to be friends with one another. Woe betide they go for a quick drink together or hang out with one another. Suddenly they HAVE to be together. Why is it so impossible to believe that platonic friendship can exist between the two genders?


Now, I will admit I personally do NOT have the best track record with being friends with guys - there have been a COUPLE of them that have slipped over the line that separates "just friends" from "something more". But I've learned my lesson the hard way and, on top of that, I have about five times as many male friends that I haven't been involved with to prove that it is entirely possible for a male and female to be just friends.

I think it was Billy Crystal who said in "When Harry Met Sally" that there's no such a thing as a platonic friend, that sex always gets involved, or that someone of the two always likes the other one. (Oh yeah, here it is!) Well, if that's really true and I'm not doing any lusting, then I guess all my male friends must be lusting after me. Yeah right!

Believe me, I sometimes wish I was one of those people who subscribed to the "the best way to get over a man is to get under another" club but I'm not - I'm not going to go after another guy when I'm still more than a little hung up on someone else, however much I fight against it and regardless of the fact he has made it patently clear he has no interest in me anymore. However, even if I wasn't a fully paid up member of the "sad and pathetic" mindset, I'm not going to go after someone who is a good friend as some sort of rebound fling.

Sometimes I'm not sure if it's a general theory that men and woman can't be friends, or whether certain people just apply to me! Either way, I personally don't think it's true!

Feel free to throw in your five cents - sorry, in my case it should be five pence!

And as for the fact it's Tuesday and I'm therefore meant to try and cheer myself - I mean, everyone else, of course! - up, try this article, which I found pretty funny (yeah, I know it's not as good as watching a clip on youtube but I like to encourage reading - apart from my blog, obviously!) sometimes too . . .

14 comments:

  1. See, I think I'm the opposite. NOt that I have that many male friends at all, but at some point during the friendship I have delusions about being swept up in the friendship and rolling it over into something more. I have crossed that line once or twice, and it hasnt worked out for the best at all.

    That makes me pathetic right ?

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  2. I totally agree with you. And since I'm not interested in them, CLEARLY they're all interested in me. It just doesn't make sense does it!

    Well ranted...!

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  3. Oh I am all for the boy/girl friendships got plenty of them and always have. Mind you I do think that at some point the thought of would I? Nah... usually goes through peoples heads. I was just actually having a conversation about this. I still think you can have a complete plutonic relationship with the opposite sex. And yes probably at one point or another your male mates have thought your a bit of alright. Doesn't mean they are lusting and wanting anything though.

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  4. amy - not pathetic at all. I'd be lying if i said that hasn't happened to me in the past! i just don't believe that it happens, on EITHER side, all the time!

    l.c.t - it's a crazy messed up world, with some crazy messed up people living in it . . . and I'm including myself in that sweeping generalisation!

    nat - glad to know someone else has completely platonic friendships! :)

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  5. I def. have guy friends although sometimes the lines get blurry. There are for sure some people who are destined to be friends and just click. Nothing wrong with that!

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  6. alice - exactly. tell that to all the gossips though!!! :(

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  7. I do have a number of very long friendships with purely platonic male friends-- but it always seems like someone is suspicious. Similarly, my boyfriend's close girlfriend keeps expecting me to be bitchy about their friendship, as I guess that is what most women are supposed to be like!

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  8. I wish I were more capable at being friends with guys, but inevitably I usually end up liking them. Guys are just so much easier to be friends with though..

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  9. My best friend is a guy and according to other women he is attractive. I have never wanted to sleep with him????? Does this make me strange?

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  10. I think it's great having friends of the opposite sex however since I've been with my guy for 7 years almost all of my guy friends are my husbands friends, so the gossip factor seems to fade.

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  11. princess pointful - i find it's more BOYS that read into other people's close friendships and shoot their mouths off about it . . .

    sara - so true on the "easier to be friends with" thing

    jk - i suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that shit!

    dolce - yeah, it more seems to be if the two of you are single or only one of you are in a relationship that seems to set it off bigtime.

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  12. one of my true best friends have proven that a guy and a girl doesnt have to be more than friends, we have been best friends since we were 15 and till this day we know that friendship is all it is. we are not attracted to each other. i actually feel more safe with my gang of guys than the girls.

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  13. Most of my friends are male, and most of them have always been just that-friends. Some of my ex boyfriends have started out as just friends, and sometimes I think that relationships work better, longer when you started out as friends. The gossip can be really annoying, especially when it isn't true, but the only time I get really bothered by it is when I'm friends with a guy who is dating someone else, and she gets insecure or suspicious of our friendship because of untrue gossip.

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  14. I totally have a Harry/Sally situation going on right now. I love having a guy friend for all the reasons you listed and see why it's complicated. Being a single girl with a single guy friend is tough. I've had a few slip through the friend cracks and I think this one will avoid that fortunately. There is always attraction at some point but you can fight it.

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