Back when I was a kid I didn't have the ability to win stuff, let alone be really cool. Do you remember martika??? Just wondering. I LOVED her. Of all the songs people transferred from vinyl to cassette for me, Martika stuck in my head. Why? WHY NOT???
Did you like Martika??? If you did, let me know I wasn't the only one . . .
CHEER ME UP TUESDAY . . .
Hopefully this will make you laugh . . .
A new priest was so nervous at his first mass, he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. So the next Sunday, he took the monsignor`s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don`t gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey; he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook. 8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don`t say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body......." He did not say, "Eat me."
12) The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14) Next Sunday, there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter`s, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy`s.