Thursday, 11 September 2008

APPARENTLY MY NOSE HAS BEEN BITCHING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK (AND I CAN'T REALLY BLAME IT!) . . .

I bet you think I'm high or something after reading that title, right? I'm actually not. Let me explain . . .

It all began last night when I got drunk. Pretty damn drunk, one and a half bottles of white vino ALL BY MYSELF kinda drunk. My day yesterday wasn't really the best, I was feeling a bit crappy and somehow decided that pouring a litre of Piat Dor down my throat was going to help. I know*, but desperate times call for desperate measures and all.

So I got drunk and you know what? It worked. I didn't have a care in the world. I blogged away, texted people I hadn't text in ages, danced around my room singing Kelly Clarkson and Katy Perry songs at the top of my lungs (I may have also attempted a Britney style dance routine to "Gimme More" with my clothes rail as a prop, but I'm not confirming or denying that particular rumour . . .) and learned the vital lesson that you're not likely to get through a full song on Guitar Hero while blind drunk (yes, I still have the borrowed Wii!!!)

I didn't realise how drunk I was, to be fair, I thought I was pretty sober. After all, I actually put myself to bed rather than just passing out on my couch with my laptop still on, and I thought that meant I was still relatively sober.

I slept in this morning and woke up feeling like I wanted to puke, with a banging in my head that wouldn't quit. I could barely drag myself out of bed, it took me nearly an hour. THEN I realised my nose stud had fallen out during the night. And, although I managed to find the little silver star stud on my pillow, it wouldn't go back in my nose. The inside part of the hole seemed to have closed over.

I didn't panic. In my three years of being in possession of a pierced nose, this has happened to me on several occasions, although not with any consistency. Sometimes I can have my stud out for a couple of hours and the piercing doesn't close up. Other times I take one out to change it and it does. Anyway I did what I always do in these situations. Sterilised a needle and stuck it through the hole. Or tried to.

Usually the skin gives immediately with no pain. This time it didn't seem to want to.

Now, for all of you who DON'T have pierced noses (possibly ALL of you!) and therefore are not in the know, when you get your nose pierced, your eyes start streaming. Bigtime. My eyes immediately started to recreate the original piercing event, ruining the make up I was trying to put on in between trying unsuccessfully to reopen the hole. On top of this, the inside of my nose was being irritated by the needle and therefore I kept sneezing. Which really wasn't helping matters. On top of this, the whole situation in general was making me want to puke more, as I sat there sneezing, eyes running, trying to do my make up with a sewing needle half hanging out of my nose. Finally I managed to get the needle through and reinserted my nose stud. Victory was mine!

I got to work later than planned and immediately noticed my nose would not stop running (only on one side, mind!) and it was unbelievably itchy. Now I pretty much always have an itchy nose but this was unbearable. I kept going to the toilet to blow my nose but it didnt make any difference. My nose was definitely punishing me for something - and I kinda knew what really!!!

By lunchtime I had completely lost patience with it and emailed one of my friends:


My nose actually HATES me. :(


I got the following reply from him. . .


Has it finally told you?

Your nose said something to me last week but told me not to say anything or my nose would hate me too!



It's official guys. Our noses are conspiring against us. They're bitching about us behind our backs, making us itchy and they're probably plotting to escape one day when we least expect it . . .

Paranoid? Moi? No . . .



In other news . . . isn't it nice to make someone's day? I was with my friend after work buying a leaving present for another friend, and I decided as a little extra to buy this bookmark - it seemed a bit quirky and cute so I was won over. "Do you think she'll definitely like it?" I asked my friend. "Of course," she replied. "I would absolutely LOVE a little present like that, it's so adorable." So on a whim, I sneakily bought two when she wasn't looking and presented one of them to her outside the shop.

You know how "they" say giving is better than receiving? The delight on her face from receiving a four pound bookmark actually made MY day too . . .



And last but not least . . . I've read a couple of blog posts that made me laugh hard today. None more so than this one, courtesy of Laughing Through My Chardonnay. I was shaking my head in disbelief and snorting (yes, snorting!) at the same time at the awkward conversation she managed to get herself somehow embroiled in . . .


*Alcohol isn't the answer kids!!!

12 comments:

  1. i'm scared my belly button will do that if i take it out, so i haven't for 6 years

    not taken my belly button off... i mean taken my piercing out!

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  2. I don't care what people say...getting drunk by one's lonesome is AWESOME.

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  3. I'm terrified my ear cartilage piercing will do the same thing. I didn't even take it out for my wedding. I just told my mom that there would be a gaping hole in the pictures if I did.

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  4. I'm stuck with a nasty scar from my 16 year old self's decision to get a belly button ring. Sigh.

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  5. pierecings hurt. never had a nose piercing but belly, and ten gazillion holes in my ear. i wanted my nose pierced but something always stopped me

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  6. A few of my friends have nose piercings but I don't think any of them have had an incident yet!

    Can you send me your email address? My blog may have been found by my work so I made it private for now, hopefully resolved soon!

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  7. Many new readers found me thru you and I am glad to say I am now a reader of your blog. Thanks for the shout out, sadly that story is not the worst I have had (and the season just started).

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  8. Getting drunk by myself while blogging is my cheap version of therapy. It makes everything better! I recomend it be done at least once every two weeks.

    PS...I had a HUGE crush on the Disney Robin from Robin Hood, it is sooo awesome that I'm not the only one!!

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  9. I hope your nose feels better soon! I don't have any piercings, because I'm a wimp.

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  10. Although this will make me sound like the lush I am, sometimes drinking a little wine and dancing around your house really does help. I have an odd love for singing the songs from the original "Willy Wonka" but I can only sing those when my sister is out of town.

    Thanks for the shout out!!

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  11. Oooh I have a nose piercing too an just HATE when that happens. In the past I've had to do the whole re-piercing thing because it's fallen out in the night. Now I try to wear those bendy studs.

    Maybe the noses are planning to form some sort of protest?

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