Wednesday, 27 August 2008

WHY AM I NOT A "MORNING PERSON"? I'M GLAD YOU ASKED . . .*

Mornings are just not a good time for me. I've never been a morning person, I'm a night owl. Sometimes I don't feel fully awake until after the sun goes down. I find it hard to get to sleep at night. Even harder to get up in the morning!

Here's just an idea of the kinda crap I go through before nine am every weekday . . .

5.00 am - Have set one of my alarms to go off at this time, so i can wake up, realise I still have an hour or so of sleep left, and then go back to sleep. It goes off.
5.01 am - It's still going off. I continue to sleep right through it. It eventually stops by itself.
6.10 am - I wake up to my second alarm in a panic, thinking I'm late. I realise I still have ten minutes before I need to get up. But I feel wide awake . . .
6.30 am - Wake up with a start realising it's 20 minutes later and I'm wanting to leave the house at 7. Realise I'm never going to be ready on time. Continue to lie there as, ironically, I'm exhausted again.
6.35 am - Put my desk lamp on hoping that will wake me up a bit more and pull off my cover. Continue to lie there.
6.37 am - Realise that, because I left my blind up in the hope the daylight would wake me up, the people across the road are probably watching me. Get up quickly.
6.38 am - Try to put in my contact lenses. Halfway to my eye, the first one falls off my finger. I blindly feel about on the floor for it.
6.40 am - Realise it has landed on my dressing gown. Clean it and put it in.
6.42 am - Start putting on my make-up. Everything is going smoothly until i somehow get a bit of mascara on my eyebrow (seriously!). In trying to remove it, I smudge said blob all over my eyebrow and across my nose. Have to spend a couple of minutes rectifying this.
6.52 am - Switch on ghd straighteners, hoping they'll work today. They light up in response to my internal pleas. I sigh in relief and get straightening.
6.53 am - Light flickers and disappears. I try not to scream as I have only managed to straighten several chunks of hair.
6.54 am - After holding the cable of the straighteners in various different positions, I manage to get them to heat up again.
6.58 am - Give up straightening my hair so it's straight at the front and kinda curly at the back. This wasn't exactly the look I was going for, but the straighteners are seriously acting up and I've lost my patience.
7.00 am - Am about to make myself something (very quickly!) for breakfast when I realise I haven't finished making my lunch. Nothing I need (chopping board, knife, food) is to hand. I make a very bad job of it.
7.05 am - Realise I have no time for breakfast now. Stuff something in my lunch bag to eat when I get to work.
7.07 am - Run back to bedroom as I realise I actually CAN'T go to work in my dressing gown. Grab outfit I have decided to wear and put it on.
7.09 am - Realise I look like a fat cow in it. Find the next alternative. Which involves me having to change my bra (I can't wear a blue bra under a white top, after all). This involves me having to FIND my bra (it's ridiculous how hard this can be). And usually I have to do a quick ironing operation on my alternative outfit as I didn't expect to have to wear it.
7.12 am - Don't like this outfit either but it will have to do. Put on lipgloss and prepare to leave.
7.13 am - Realise I have no idea where my work fob is. Check every nook and cranny of my bag with a growing sense of panic.
7.14 am - Look in original nook where it usually is, and it was there all along. Momentary relief until I realise I haven't got my keys.
7.16 am - Find them on the kitchen table, where I dumped them the night before.
7.17 am - Rush all the way to work.
8.01 am - Realise I've forgotten phone/purse/make-up/umbrella (if its raining) etc once I get there.

Or, in the case of today, opening my lunch bag to find I'd brought a corkscrew to work with me. Which was still embedded in a cork.

I only wish I'd had the bottle of wine it belonged to with me too . . .

I was trying to think of a song I could post that would be related but I drew a blank - then I remembered this song . . . okay, it's not really related, but it does have morning in the title!


*I'm fully aware that no one asked. I just liked the sound of that bit of the title . . .

10 comments:

  1. I felt like I was reading Helen Fielding...very Briget Jones of your morning.

    I hope tomorrow is better.

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  2. Your mornings sound eerily like mine ;)

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  3. I go through the same crap every morning. I wish I was a morning person.

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  4. I'd like mornings better if they started later.

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  5. hahahahah this is funny, I can so imagine you stressing like this.
    as for song to go with post I would say out of time with the rolling stones, cute song.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inzCOWDKJVY&feature=related

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  6. Did you also forget to have a shower???

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  7. haha, it sounds like my mornings only funnier ;-)
    yesterday I made it to work at 11am. Thank goodness I'm on flexitime...

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  8. i've had mornings like that too.

    Seems you have problems getting out of bed. hmm, try a wallace and gromit contraption that pours freezing water over you when the alarm goes off. Other then that, get up with the first alarm after a good nights sleep. Maybe you need sleep therapy.

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  9. That is EXACTLY my morning.

    Weird...

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  10. Wow this is similar to my routine every morning too. Yours is much more adventurous though. I have never brought a corkscrew...yet.

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