Friday, 15 August 2008


I sometimes feel like I'm being stalked by some sort of monster.

It's not a SCARY monster or anything. In fact, in my mind, it's probably kinda sweet. CUTE, even. For a monster. It probably looks like Sully from "Monsters Inc" or The Cookie Monster, or this little fella. (Yes, for some reason, it's a blue monster. I don't know why so don't ask . . .)

But every so often the monster comes out to play and visits me with enough stress to make my head explode. The pent-up stressed feeling is soooo not good for me. I think when I am going "GRRRR!" inside my head, it's actually not me. It's the Stress Monster. And while it's "GRRRR"ing at me, it's also putting thoughts in my head, designed to make me feel insecure and cause further stress. The monster isn't as cute and innocent as it appears. It's actually causing further self-doubt and stress just by its very presence in my life. It's probably also conspiring to cause wrinkles, stress lines and grey hairs . . .

The Stress Monster doesn't appear all the time. It's sneaky. It tends to wait until I'm feeling quite content, almost sure of myself, bides its time until one little event occurs that has the capacity to change everything . . . then it strikes. What could have been resolved quickly inside my head suddenly becomes a such bigger deal than it actually was. I find myself worrying away at whatever issue it is, questioning it, driving myself insane with the whole thing. I find myself getting angry, or tearful, or anxious. Or all of the above.

I wish I could get rid of the monster but its sort of ingrained there now. A part of me. Some little devil that flicks a switch inside my brain at any time it deems appropriate. It usually gets its timing dead-on and causes optimum damage.

Its a sneaky wee fucker, that's for sure.

It's kinda like an imaginary friend, in a way. Yet it's my worst enemy.

It's been plaguing me all day. No more.

I wonder if some music will get rid of it. I may as well try . . . I am loving this song at the moment.

PS Oh, and I have to give a shout out to Amy from Insomniatic Musings who gave me a lovely little award which cheered me up (and destroyed some of the Stress Monster's power, ha!) Thanks a lot for that, Amy! I'm extremely flattered.

According to the rules, I'm meant to select at least seven other blogs and link to them. Well, if you're on my blogroll, consider yourself linked. Congratulations - you've all been awarded it too!!! :)


  1. I have this imagine in my head of this stress monster stomping around screaming, much like Tina Fey in the Annuale commercial from SNL. Awesome.

  2. Does the monster come out when you're dreaming or conscious?

    I had dreams similar to this when I was dating my ex-boyfriend. He was the "monster" in my conscious life and when I slept the "monster" would chase me under horrible circumstances. It was until I broke up with him that the dreams stopped.

    Before I made my decision to leave him, though, I asked my English professor, who was big on dream analysis, and we talked my dream through and found out what each thing meant on so many different levels. Her talk helped me to discover what was affecting my dreams so negatively and in turn I did something about it in reality.

    I'm not a dream expert but I definitely think it is something to consider. You see or feel the monster when you're most stressed or in a place where you're content. It sounds to me that you're your own monster. Or possibly your insecurities/past/friends/exes/family/job are your monster and whenever you feel happy, one of those things is triggering the monster to come out.

    If you can, I would definitely consult a dream analyst if this is happening when you sleep and/or psychiatrist because I think it stems from something much deeper than Monsters Inc.

    <3 Knikki

  3. That soup commercial was the most random crazy thing I've seen! Where do you find something like that?
    As for getting rid of a stress monster...If you find a way that works can you let me know? It's so weird how stress can pop up, even when there really isn't anything to be stressed about. Blogging usually helps me.


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