- BUDGETING - Now I'm not AWFUL with money. I mean, I don't have any credit cards, I only have a two hundred pound overdraft and I rarely have to borrow money off anyone. But I do still find it hard to live within my means. Like last month for example I somehow spent more money than I planned. I COULD blame it on going to Barcelona but I can't really. Because I paid for the holiday with the previous month's wage, and I already had most of my spending money as I had nearly two hundred euros left from the hen week in Spain in May. So how the heck did I end up skint by the time I came back from there? Who the fuck knows. I ended up using up my overdraft and then when I got paid this month (with no overtime done to make my bottom line higher) I was virtually skint. I told myself I would have to be careful with my money and not do much . . . but I can't resist treating myself, particularly online. No matter how carefully I TRY to budget, all my best laid plans go out the window the minute I see a pretty top or a book I HAVE TO HAVE regardless of price. Bad Paula.
- DIETING - Something you already know more than likely! I find it virtually impossible to deny myself, although I've not done TOO badly the last week. However, I am out for dinner tomorrow night so hopefully I won't go TOO mad . . .
- BEING CHATTED UP - Similarly to public speaking, I find when someone tries to chat me up, I get pretty uncomfortable. I tend to be okay with people I know, but if someone, for example, comes up to me in a bar and tries to come onto me, I end up fidgeting awkwardly, blushing, muttering one-word responses and trying to get away as quickly as possible, usually by making up an imaginary boyfriend. And I wonder why I'm still single!!! I am really envious of people who are good at flirting with strangers, who can think up the perfect rejoinder, engage in witty repartee without a second thought. I just start panicking and end up snogging them just so I can get away. I suppose I could do WORSE to get rid of them . . .
- KEEPING CALM WHEN STRANGERS ANNOY ME - Funnily enough, although I'm not good at FLIRTING with strangers, and am AWFUL at confrontation with people I know, I somehow don't seem to have this problem when people on the street annoy me. I am constantly calling people who get in my way "fannies" and making sarcastic comments when they do something ultra-annoying like stopping directly in front of me so I almost walk into them and then have to go AROUND them. Seriously, my sister has actually told me one day I'm going to end up getting beaten up, but I find it so hard to hold my tongue when someone is completely ignorant or just a total arsehole. Here's an example, from this very day. Me and my flatmate were standing waiting to cross a road after work to go to Anderston train station and we had been standing there FOR AGES. In the pouring rain. I was in the middle of saying something when I noticed a guy in the passenger seat of a white van on the road was hanging out of the window with his tongue virtually hanging out, he was leering so much. I caught his eye, gave him a dirty look and tried to go back to my conversation but he would not stop staring. He was totally throwing me off and I was getting more and more frustrated so eventually I pointed at him and said to my friend, loudly enough for the guy to hear "What the FUCK is he looking at? He should take a picture, it would last longer." At that point the van FINALLY started to drive away and he decided to turn around and shout at me that I was a fat cow. Nice. This wound me up even more, since a) I'm not fat and b) the guy was making me really uncomfortable with his staring and I wouldn't have said anything if he hadn't just KEPT ON DOING IT. I guess that was an example of me seeing someone react to MY anger, but I still feel I was entitled to express my dislike of what he was doing and HE was just being a bitch. On the other hand, sometimes I definitely need to bite my tongue . . . it's just difficult. Like I was saying to my flatmate earlier, if I could channel my anger at strangers into dealing with people in my actual life who are annoying me, I might be getting somewhere.
- PULLING OFF RED LIPSTICK - I would LOVE to suit red lipstick. Seriously. I see all these famous chicks wearing it and they look so good in it and I think "perhaps I'll try wearing it again". Then I'll put it on and suddenly I'll look like death warmed up with a tiny red slit for a mouth. I don't have the lips OR the colouring for it unfortunately. And I've TRIED all the different shades. It's just not me at all. I guess I'll just have to stick to the boring neutral colours instead . . .
Now for just a couple of random things. One of my colleagues told me about this place. I'm dying to go, although doubt I could afford it. It's in Chile (I never even really thought about that being a hot place - possibly the name of the country threw me off) and boasts a pool that's NEARLY A MILE LONG. I am totally in love with it. If I had money, I would also like to buy an island for myself. Little Green Island in Australia, to be precise. I would buy it and rename it "Scottish Paulanesia". (Get it???)
A couple of people suggested that because I had mentioned all the things I was bad at, I should balance it out by talking about things I'm good at too. I honestly can't think of that many right now, apart from being able to rock this song on Guitar Hero on the Nintendo DS. Everytime I play it I better my score . . . The video is pretty effed up though.