Tuesday, 26 August 2008


I joined a gym over two years ago now.

Do you know the last time I went? September last year.

In other words, I am shelling out thirty three quid a month on a gym membership I no longer utilise.

And, if I'm honest, I never was particularly good at it. I tended to last - oh, a maximum of 20 minutes before giving up and heading for the shower. Also, I tended to end up out for dinner and/or in the pub after my "workout" . . . if you could call it that. What? Why are you looking at me like that? Wasn't I ENTITLED to a reward of some sort???

Even choosing an OUTFIT for the gym tired me out. After all, you never know when you might meet a single, eligible man. And even if you DIDN'T . . . you had to make sure your outfit cancelled out the purple face and sweat after a hectic session on the treadmill, right??? I had to dress carefully to emphasise my good points, and hide my bad points . . . why haven't they invented a full length kaftan for gym use yet, by the way???

On top of that, I had to carefully calculate the time I went. My gym is TINY, it's in the city centre beneath a hotel. The main reason we chose it was because it had a pool and both me and my sister like swimming more than any other exercise. The pool could hold five normal sized people at the best of times. More often than not, there was like TWELVE people in it. Not a good idea at all. How can you swim a straight length without running into someone??? Answer - you couldn't. It's okay for my sister, who dons her goggles, doesn't care about her eye make up and sticks her head under water . . . she can swim under people. I don't want to ruin my make up or have my contacts swim away from me. I had to navigate my way among the masses. Er - no thanks!!!

And it wasn't just the pool which was overflowing . . . with people. If you went at the wrong time, you would find yourself with a treadmill with no view of the tv, or - worse! - no treadmill at all!!! Or the squeaky cross trainer. Or the rowing machine with weights that wouldn't adjust properly which meant I felt like I was trying to haul a couple of small, exceptionally heavy children every time I pulled back.

Nine times out of ten, if I managed to navigate my way through the fashion minefield, and locate a suitable machine, I would somehow manage to pull a muscle on the treadmill or cross trainer. At least, I'm ASSUMING that's what the random ache in my abdomen was that caused me to want to die, and meant I had to stop going to the gym for at least a couple of weeks in order to recover. If it wasn't a pulled muscle, I'd suddenly develop a cold or sore head or something. I'm telling you, someone up there does NOT want me to exercise . . .

I kept my membership up because me and my sis had joint membership, I didn't give it up. Now SHE wants to give her membership up too. Apparently I'm meant to send in a letter to cancel our membership . . .

Are you surprised I haven't got around to it yet???

It just seems like FAR too much effort . . .

Cheer-Me-Up Tuesday . . . I have to recycle, as it's twenty past eleven and I'm wiped out. Here . . .


  1. The idea of joining a gym is awfully appealing but I know that I'd be the exact same way - wearing myself out just choosing what time of day to go, how to look while I'm there, what to do that won't make me look stupid...it's enough to drive someone nuts!

  2. That's funny. I've been a loyal gym member for over 2 years myself. I go about 2-4 times a week and I put zero effort into my outfit because I'm not there to look cute. Don't overcomplicate it, I promise that no one is judging.

  3. I agree with bayjb. I go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week, including two yoga classes, and my week just isnt the same with out it. However, i do have a trick for your fashion dilemma - buy yourself three cute gym appropriate tops, and three gym appropriate bottoms and just mix and match ( according to whats clean ).

    Works for me. Plus, like bayjb said, no-one is judging because we're all so absorbed in pushing our own workouts to the max. Unless you turn up in a fluoro tutu and a rabbit fur vest, no-one is going to notice....

  4. this is the part where you and me are complete opposites. you are so funny. i am gonna make you join my bootcamp! 2 years membership and you dont use it is such a shame sweetie, breaks my heart..
    from the gym addict.

  5. I've done exactly the same in the past. If I every have a rare moment of desire to do exercise I'll go for a run.

  6. Hi P,

    I totally get the gym thing. I go through periods in my life where I'm either all about it, or not at all. The gym I belonged to prior to joining the one I now go to (did that make sense?) I NEVER went and threw my money away. This time I joined a gym across the street from work, so I cannot make up excuses as to why I can't go.

    Is this gym near your work/house? I recently started doing classes at the gym and let me tell you an hour with those fitness instructors is enough to kill someone! It makes working out FUN which is something I never thought I'd say.

    As for the clothes...I look like a total nerd and so unfeminine. I wear mesh capris, low cut socks, Reeboks, and a tee shirt. Nothing cute. The way I figure, who cares? I HATE to see people I know at the gym (unless we're good friends) and I don't really pay attention to anyone else anyway. Just be yourself, and try to make a habit of going 3 times a week. Walking for 30-40 minutes on a treadmill at a high incline/pace is GREAT for you and you can read a magazine while doing it!


    (that was my motivational spiel....sorry if I rambled on!)

  7. I am too one of the folks that shells out money every month for a gym membership and NEVER goes. Someday (maybe) I will fix that, but for right now I'm way too lazy.

    and i feel you on picking out the clothes to go-- that's one of the hardest parts.

  8. ben - i'm glad someone is in agreement with me!

    bayjb - unfortunately i am ALWAYS striving towards looking cute. it's just my nature...

    amy - see, that's the problem. I don't really CARE about working out. i'm just not, and probably never will be, a gym bunny!

    chele - bootcamp??? i'm terrified - seriously!!!

    l.c.t. - when the urge to exercise takes me, i operate a similar policy - I'm not a great runner, but I'll do a workout dvd or something, even if only for ten minutes. it's better than nothing . . . i hope!

    kayleigh - i am USELESS at the treadmill, believe me. in fact, once i nearly fell off twice in one session . . .

    maxie - we really should stop paying that money for nothing, shouldn't we? I could buy about five pairs of nice shoes for what I'm wasting on gym membership . . .

  9. We also discover that out of the 'studios' that our gym has, if it isn't occupied by a class, your allowed to use them for yourself! So we found one that wasn't being used and quickly took it over, looking at the extra equipment thats inside and playing around with it, and we decided to make our own class up.You can get more information about Cross trainer which I browsed on internet can fetch you help.


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