Monday, 14 July 2008


Today started off fun, with me trying to explain to one of my friends about yesterday's dream, and how embarrassed I was to face the guy in question. "Although if anyone should be embarrassed really, it's HIM," I added. "After all, he told me he loved me . . . then CRIED!"

That did kinda put the whole thing in perspective. Okay, perhaps he couldn't control what he'd done in MY dream . . . but he still DID it! HA!!!

But anyway, since the whole dream, I've been thinking about relationships and what I'm looking for . . .

These days I'm kinda happy to be on my own. Most of the time anyway. Obviously, like I've said before, there's the odd time I'm lonely and wish I had someone to hug-and-more but I'm not someone who easily jumps from one relationship to another - for one thing, the repercussions of a possible rebound relationship worry me, but for another, I just find it hard to find someone I CLICK with. And I find it hard to compromise.

So since my dream the other night, I've been wondering what exactly it IS I'm looking for in a guy. What ticks all the right boxes?

First of all, I need someone I trust. That's why I find it hard to just hook up with someone. If it's not someone I already know, it would probably have to be someone that someone ELSE I know already knows, who could effectively vouch for them. Of course, I realise just because you know someone doesn't necessarily mean you can trust them one hundred per cent, but it seems like a start over a complete stranger, if you know what I mean!

Basically, cheats and liars need not apply (I'm naive, granted, but not THAT naive - I' d like to think I would see through them EVENTUALLY . . .)

Sense of humour is another must. But not only do they have to have a GOOD, nay, a GREAT sense of humour, their sense of humour has to be compatible with mine. I've had that in the past, and it was so good to know that someone found you funny; that you could find something that would make you want to pee yourself laughing and just KNOW that the other person would agree with your verdict. On the other hand, I've had the opposite too - like I said before, once one of the reasons I was given for being dumped was that I just wasn't funny. You know who you are - and thanks for that! If someone doesn't understand the irony of deliberately telling bad jokes, then to be perfectly honest, they DON'T deserve me. And FYI, quoting lines from Will Ferrell movies and "Family Guy" does not necessarily make someone funny . . .

I'd like someone who is a bit of a romantic, who would send me a nice text message or email, surprise me with little gifts, nothing expensive - it's the thought that counts, and the little things that matter really. Affectionate . . . well, that goes without saying, and while I'm not really into excessive Public Displays of Affection, I like holding hands and the odd show of affection. Nothing wrong with that . . . right? Someone who just tells me how they feel, who doesn't play games with me, and twist me and my emotions up in knots, wondering if I've got it all wrong and if they actually like me at all.

I'd prefer someone who isn't moody. That's odd, as in books and films it's always the moody complicated hero I find more attractive than the straightforward one, but in real life it's just a pain in the ass. If you can't make a random comment, for example, without the other person taking offence or jumping to conclusions, then what's the point. Also, I'M quite moody at times myself (I know that surprises you!) and there's only room for one bad mood in a relationship at any one time . . .

I don't like guys who do recreational drugs and am not fond of excessive smoking. I don't really approve of smoking at all, but can cope with social smokers - on the other hand, if you smoke 40 a day like one guy I went out with (and his dad died of lung cancer so he really should have known better), then it's gonna be like kissing an ashtray. Not that I've kissed many ashtrays (unless they have a particularly good line in flattery!) but you know what I mean! I prefer if they DO drink though . . . nothing worse than someone looking on disapprovingly and completely sober while I'm rolling about pissed.

Looks are obviously a consideration. But not the be all and end all and, like I've said before, I tend to fall for the personality first. That being said, I am probably not gonna give a complete ugger a chance. Sorry, but it's true. That being said, never say never . . . Dean Gaffney, you may still be in with a chance. (No, wait a minute, I forgot he hasn't got a decent personality either!)

I'm sure there's more . . . but that'll do for now. You think I'm demanding? Not as much so as this . . .

Anyway, bored of the topic now. Like I said, I'm not that fussed one way or the other right now, I have too much other stuff going on in my life. Time for a music break. Apparently this is the UK number one at the moment, courtesy of Dizzee Rascal and Calvin Harris. I have to say, I actually kinda like it . . .


  1. I don't think moods are ever good in relationshsips....

  2. Now you need to make the list of what you can't stand in a man because sometimes he can be all these things but have some stupid little quirk that you would just never be able to live with.

  3. Its is nice as we grow older actually knowing what you want, of course by knowing it is so much harder to find.
    I know that I am attracted to me who have asshole quality, but I love it, but it has to be the right sort of asshole behaviour. Im too weird.

  4. i've wanted to do a post like this for a long time. i agree with all of your point. humour especially! respect, intelligence, humility. so on and so forth.

  5. Red Squirrel - GOOD moods are . . .

    JK - True, but I probably wouldn't know what it was until I saw it! :)

    Chele - "by knowing it is so much harder to find" . . . you hit it dead on there. That being said, I'm probably prepared to lower my strict standards a little!

    Libby - yep, sense of humour is definitely one of the most important things. If you don't find the same things funny and make each other laugh, then what's the point?

  6. If you find him, can you see if he has a brother for me? Younger, older, I'm not picky about age. As long as he's legal and old enough to drink. And I totally cracked up about the quoting family guy and Will Ferrell movies, I completely agree. Way too many men think they are so hillarious because they can memorize something funny someone ELSE said!

  7. Diana - Cheers!!! :)

    Lyla Lou - if he doesn't have a brother, maybe we can share him??? ;)

  8. Family guy quotes Don't make people funny? Crap, time to up my game :P

  9. Meghan - no, they need to have other tricks up their sleeves. You're okay - you're funny anyway!

  10. I never do the feedbacks either... But I sold some books on amazon a few months ago and apparently some people are REALLY into it.


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